Real Food Whole Life

Feel Good Effect Podcast

87 Body Acceptance After Miscarriage & Infertility

Feel Good Effect PodcastPaige ReohrComment

We are getting super vulnerable and a little bit raw talking about body acceptance after miscarriage and infertility.

Miscarriage and infertility can complicate the relationship we have with our bodies. This episode of the Feel Good Effect is all about how to love your body after experiencing miscarriage or infertility with some tactical things you can do to accept your body. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #gentlewellness #healthy #wellness #podcast #gentle #gentleisthenewperfect #bodylove #bodyacceptance #infertility #miscarriage

Body Acceptance After Miscarriage & Infertility

This is all about how I learned to accept my body after those really hard times, some of the specific strategies that have really helped, and also how I learned to accept and embrace our little family of three.

Listen now!


We are getting super vulnerable and a little bit raw in this week’s episode talking about body acceptance after miscarriage and infertility.

This one is deeply personal as both miscarriage and infertility are part of my story.

I wanted to share more about how I learned to accept my body after those really hard times, some of the specific strategies that have really helped, and also how I learned to accept and embrace our little family of three.

If this episode isn’t for you, I totally understand-- just come back next week.

If it is, though, I made you something: I put together a guide to simplified body love.

In this free guide, I pulled together some of my favorite body love practices that have really helped me move through these difficult seasons, be more at peace, be calmer, and it’s something that I just so strongly wanted to share with you, so I made it free.

It really applies to anyone who is struggling from body image, who is healing from an illness, or the kinds of things we’re talking about today, it kind of covers all your bases.

My story of infertility and miscarriage:

Like many women my age, I grew up in my teens and early-twenties not thinking much about babies.

In fact, my goal was to avoid getting pregnant.

In my early twenties I got married and my husband and I were both on the same page-- we wanted to spend time together, go to school, and we really just wanted to enjoy our marriage, so we were not thinking about babies.

My mom is someone who was able to get pregnant pretty easily and who had fairly straightforward, easy pregnancies, and I think I internalized her story about how childbearing is a wonderful thing that happens, so of course it would be the same for me.

As women, we probably all internalize certain stories about children and childbearing depending on how we were raised, the stories we hear, or influences of older women.

So much so that it becomes an ingrained part of our consciousness.

I think we assume certain things will go a certain way.

For me, my assumption was very strongly held that at a certain point, when my husband Andrew and I decided to have kids, we would just have them.

We would just decide, it would happen, and then we would go onto the next stage.

That’s one part of the body acceptance story that becomes difficult.

If you have these assumptions about what your body will do and about how your story will go, and then the reality doesn’t match, that can be really difficult to handle.

Fast forward to 27, my husband and I had been married for several years, I finished school, we had a house, and we decided it would be a wonderful time to start trying for a family.

This story will be relatable for any of you who have dealt with infertility, that crushing blow that happens when you actively decide to get pregnant and it doesn’t work.

And you feel cheated, because all this time you’ve been avoiding pregnancy and then once you actually try, it’s not happening.

After about six months we went to the doctor to check in, and they tell you, especially if you’re in your twenties, that there’s nothing to worry about, six months is nothing to be alarmed about.

Another year of trying went by, and at that point, I felt like every person I knew was starting to get pregnant.

But we kept trying, and I didn’t consider infertility at all; we had time and I wasn’t worried.

And then we did get pregnant, and I was so happy.

I remember the blissful ignorance I had of being pregnant, thinking that meant we were going to have a baby.

We started making plans and arranging our schedules around the pregnancy and we were just really excited and happy planning for the future.

And then around 11 and a half weeks I started to have a miscarriage.

At first, I didn’t know what was happening, but pretty quickly I understood and was just absolutely devastated.

I remember the hardest part was telling the few people who I had told that we weren’t pregnant anymore.

Not only was I personally devastated, but I felt like a failure.

Why has this happened? What was my body doing wrong?

Around me, I saw friends and family having babies and they weren’t having miscarriages, so why was I?

And of course now I know that wasn’t totally true.

I’s interesting, when you do experience a miscarriage, everyone comes out of the woodwork to tell you about the miscarriages they’ve had.

I think we tend not to tell other women because it’s too painful to talk about ourselves, but also we don’t want to scare people.

Just because this has happened to me doesn’t mean it’s going to happen to you.

So I decided to play the “let’s pretend like this never happened” game, which was very much about shoving my feelings down, pretending like nothing happened, and moving on.

And I know now that this is pretty common.

When you experience a pregnancy loss, even an early miscarriage, it’s really hard to know how to process your feelings.

There aren’t a lot of resources or support, it’s very isolating, and the temptation is to not feel your feelings, to just be stoic and move on.

And that might work for some people, but I will say I wish I could go back and talk to that version of myself and allow her a little more space to process those emotions, to talk to somebody about it, to do a little healing.

But instead, I pushed through.

I’ll note too that during that first pregnancy I didn’t gain a whole lot of weight because I felt so sick for those weeks.

So there weren’t a lot of physical changes to deal with in terms of my body, really just that relationship between my brain and body.

For the most part, I move on.

Our doctor encouraged us to wait six months to a year before trying again, which is what we did.

We moved, I started a new job, I started a doctoral program, and I was avoiding trying again because I was scared.

But we did, we tried, again and again.

It took about a year and a half to two years, and again, I had a positive pregnancy test.

This time we were a little more guarded about planning and getting excited, but I really felt so sick that I was convinced that this time it was a go.

But at about ten and a half weeks I could tell I was experiencing signs of early miscarriage, and I was just beyond devastated.

So I went to the doctor, I had to go by myself this time, and I wasn’t quite sure what was happening.

When I got there, my doctor wasn’t sure what was going on either, so I kind of found myself in a spiral of highly invasive, very traumatizing tests and in the end, she determined that I had an ectopic pregnancy, which means the egg implants outside of the uterus and it’s not viable.

And it’s life-threatening to the mother, so it’s taken very seriously.

And I suppose I’m lucky, I know some women who have had this happen and have had to have emergency surgery to remove the ovary and Fallopian tube, but mine was caught before anything went seriously wrong.

However, the treatment that they offered me was a chemotherapy drug with a lot of side effects, including weight gain.

So I took the drug and really really struggled with that aftermath of slowly losing the pregnancy, being on this drug, gaining weight from the pregnancy and from the drug, and again I had to face telling people that I wasn’t pregnant again.

And that part just sucks.

At this point, the relationship with my body got really complicated, because I was mad, I was disappointed, I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t do what I thought it was supposed to do, and really what I was made to do, “If I’m a woman, aren’t I supposed to be able to have babies?”.

I was also really, really frustrated by the fact that I gained all this weight, and I didn’t even have a baby to show for it.

On top of that, no one really knows what to say, a lot of people say things that are well-intended but really not at all helpful.

I felt alone, I felt isolated, I felt frustrated, and I was really angry at my body.

Another year or two went by and I didn’t want to try anymore, I felt like I’d gone through enough and I felt like I couldn’t do it again.

I told Andrew that I wasn’t strong enough to try anymore, that I wasn’t brave enough to go through another loss.

But eventually, somehow, he convinced me and I kind of just closed my eyes, took a breath, and we tried again.

I want to interject here that through all this time, through infertility and miscarriages, I was doing everything “right”.

The thing is, when you’re experiencing infertility or miscarriage, people have a lot of advice and a lot of suggestions about what you should be doing.

And I was doing it all.

I was eating really healthy, eating very low sugar, not drinking any alcohol, moving my body but not working out too hard, getting acupuncture, taking all the herbs, and I was also thinking positive thoughts.

This is something that I think perpetuates a lot of the complication around body acceptance when it comes to this kind of stuff.

It’s this pervasive myth that if you just do everything right, you’ll get pregnant and have a healthy baby, that if you just “manifest it”, you’ll have a baby.

And I think it’s been made even worse in recent years, especially in the wellness community on Instagram, I can’t tell you how many high-level influencers I’ve had to unfollow because they say that they’re “manifesting” their pregnancies.

And if you’re out there and you’re working on positive thinking and manifesting and that’s helping you, that’s great and there’s no harm in trying.

But for those of you who see that kind of stuff and it makes you feel like you’re not doing it right, that you’re not trying hard enough, and that basically, you’re the problem, I’m here to tell you that’s simply not true.

Miscarriage and infertility can complicate the relationship we have with our bodies. This episode of the Feel Good Effect is all about how to love your body after experiencing miscarriage or infertility with some tactical things you can do to accept your body. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #gentlewellness #healthy #wellness #podcast #gentle #gentleisthenewperfect #bodylove #bodyacceptance #infertility #miscarriage

“You can do everything right, but sometimes things don't go the way you want, and it’s not your fault”.

That’s been key for me around this body acceptance issue, is to know that there’s no amount of acupuncture, no amount of healthy eating, and no amount of manifesting that really would have changed the story.

It’s not that I didn’t try hard enough, it’s just that sometimes, things don’t go the way that you planned or wanted, and it’s nothing that you can control, and it’s not your fault.

And like I said, Andrew convinced me to try again and we tried and tried and eventually, I was pregnant.

And if you’ve experienced pregnancy loss, miscarriage, infertility, it sucks all the joy out of the early stages of pregnancy because you’re just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

You can’t celebrate with other people, you probably don’t want to say anything to anyone anyway, and you’re basically just waiting every day to see if things are going to go wrong this time.

I think I held my breath the entire time I was pregnant with Elle.

But eventually, as we got toward the end, I started being able to relax.

And we’re so lucky that Elle was born happy and healthy and weighing an enormous 10 pounds.

Of course that 10 pounds and that pregnancy was a little difficult; it had an enormous impact on my body, changing it in a number of ways.

I gained a lot of weight in that pregnancy, but in the end, I had my healthy baby so I accepted all of the things that happened to my body as part of the process.

After I recovered and I had this infant, I looked down at myself and I didn’t recognize the body I was in.

I was still kind of reeling from all the infertility, miscarriage, and treatments and I found that I kind of hated my body.

Yes, it had produced this miracle baby, but there had been all these things along the way that it let me down, then the weight gain, the whole thing-- I just felt very disconnected from myself.

I couldn’t look in the mirror without crying, I was disgusted by what I saw.

It breaks my heart to say that because if I could have shown myself a little more compassion for what I’ve walked through and what I’ve been brave enough to survive, maybe I could have shown myself a little more grace, but that’s not the way it went.

It was really a situation of beating myself up, being incredibly hard on myself, and being a body bully.

And that bullying takes a toll, it’s exhausting.

At this point, many of you are familiar with the story, so I’ll fast forward a little bit.

I was at this all-time low, I was exhausted, I was burned out, and burning the candle at both ends, working 60 hours a week, in a full-time doctoral program, and I realized that things had to change.

I couldn’t put myself at the bottom of the list.

I needed to change how I ate, how I moved, and how I took care of myself.

So I changed everything.

But spoiler alert: I approached wellness just like I had approached everything else in my life, with a striving mindset of all or nothing, perfectionism, and comparison.

I went super extreme working out every single day, I was hyper-focused about everything I ate, which was effective but sucked the joy right out of food.

And by hyper-focusing on all or nothing, perfectionism, and comparison in exercise and food, I really forgot about self-care, mental health, and I found myself super burned out once again.

Part of this was that I hadn’t learned to accept my body, I hadn’t learned body love.

I was just trying to force it into a box, to get it all right, and focusing more on weight loss rather than overall well being.

This is the place where Real Food Whole Life was born.

I realized I needed to find a better way.

I needed to find a way to fit movement, mind, and meals into my every day, in a way that wasn’t striving, in a way that was sustainable, and a way that was gentle.

I started learning about ancient mindfulness teachings, yoga, self-compassion, and realized that this was what I was missing.

When I first started all of this, Elle was two.

It took me about two years to recover myself, to go super extreme, to come back to the middle, and to start sharing my story.

For those of you who have young children, maybe around the age of two, you know how quickly the questions start about siblings.

When are you going to have another baby? Are you going to give that cute daughter of yours a sibling?

Again, maybe well-meaning but not super helpful.

Honestly, I wasn’t even sure that we wanted to have another baby.

The whole experience of getting Elle was so difficult, so long, and I was really just starting to recover my mental health, my body was starting to feel good again.

I really couldn’t imagine going through any of that again.

But there’s tremendous pressure to have more than one child.

It comes from everywhere, from family members, from random people you meet on the street, from your kid’s friends’ parents, maybe even from your spouse, or yourself.

You think, “am I letting my child down by not giving them a sibling?”

I have several friends who have one child and totally embraced that, standing firm in their decision, knowing that it was the very best choice for them.

I love that.

“Anytime you can make your own decision and stand behind it… I think that’s a beautiful thing”.

Nobody knows what’s best for your family or yourself, than you.

I really was on the fence.

But eventually, we decided if we’re going to do it, we better try.

And we went for it, we tried to have a second baby.

For three years.

By this point, the infertility story was boring to me, like “this is happening again? Great”.

Secondary infertility is not talked about a lot.

It’s really really tricky, especially if you didn’t go through it the first time, you pretty much go into it thinking this is going to be great.

But again, I’m telling you, the pressure to have a second kid is tremendous and the guilt pile on moms who aren’t having second children is overwhelming.

Whether that guilt is coming from others, or from yourself, it can be really really hard.

And here’s the thing, I did all the things.

I went to a specialty acupuncturist who has really high success rates around infertility, I did the diet, I did the herbs, I did the positive thinking, and I’m also very well aware of other options for growing a family, and I think they’re all beautiful.

I think if you’re seeking infertility treatments, I’m so happy for you.

If you’ve gone through adoption, I think that’s a beautiful, amazing way to grow a family.

We’ve had Sonja Overhiser from A Couple Cooks on here sharing her adoption story, and we’ve had Jessica Murname from One Part Plant sharing her adoption story.

There’s fostering, there’s surrogacy, there are so many ways to grow a family, but I really know those aren’t a good fit for our family.

I knew that we would give it a good, try but eventually we would have to call it.

I wanted to share this part of the story too, because I think a lot of people publicly share their infertility story and it ends with some kind of happy ending.

And ours is a happy ending too, but not in the way you would think.

Because eventually, after several years, Andrew and I talked and said if this isn’t happening, maybe it’s not meant to happen.

That can be so hard, especially when there are options, like with infertility there’s always something else to try.

And if we didn’t already have Elle, I’m sure we would have gone down one of those paths.

But we have this beautiful healthy child, who’s thriving, we have this incredible family of three, we’re out of the infant stage and into the elementary school years and we are having a blast.

And when I got really quiet, when I got into some of my body love practices, the gratitude and forgiveness in that stillness and quiet, it became very clear to me that we’re meant to be a family of three.

That doesn’t mean that my body failed me, that doesn’t mean I’m a failure as a mom, and it certainly doesn’t mean that we are robbing Elle of some kind of opportunity to have siblings.

It just means this is how our story was supposed to go.

I probably wouldn’t have written it this way, but that’s how life is.

And sometimes Andrew and I still talk about how weird it is to have a life that doesn’t match your expectations.

Both of us grew up assuming that we’d get married and have two kids, but how often does that fictional life we grew up imagining ever match reality?

We had to actively let go of that assumption of what we thought it was going to look like, and embrace what it actually does look like.

And I certainly can’t tell you what to do if you’re experiencing secondary infertility.

But first of all, my heart it with you, I’m so sorry that you have to go through this.

That goes for all of you, whatever you’re struggling with, I wish it didn’t have to be this way, I see you and you’re not alone.

But if you’re feeling that sense of guilt, or if you’re unsure if you can be satisfied and happy with a family of three, I do want to tell you that we really have gotten to a place where I feel nothing but joy and happiness when I think about it.

And Elle has a pretty rad life.

I’m not letting her down as a mom by not giving her siblings.

She has this amazing life, two parents who are super into hanging out with her and give her amazing experiences.

And I’m so lucky that my sister has two little girls so she has cousins, she’s constantly around other children, and we just feel really happy and complete as a family of three.

Part of that process has really been embracing those body love practices, I did a whole episode to walk you through those five practices.

They’re also outlined in that simplified body love guide.

Two of those practices that have been instrumental are gratitude and forgiveness.

Forgiving my body for the things I thought it wasn’t doing right, or the ways I felt it had let me down.

And then unbelievable, overwhelming, incredible gratitude for all that my body does.

Gratitude for all that I have, instead of focusing on the things I don’t.

Gratitude for getting back up and keeping on going.

Gratitude for healing.

And so much self-compassion for my own humanness, for knowing that being human means you don’t get to control everything and that things don’t always go the way that you want.

Miscarriage and infertility can complicate the relationship we have with our bodies. This episode of the Feel Good Effect is all about how to love your body after experiencing miscarriage or infertility with some tactical things you can do to accept your body. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #gentlewellness #healthy #wellness #podcast #gentle #gentleisthenewperfect #bodylove #bodyacceptance #infertility #miscarriage

“You can work hard and you can try hard, and some things happen the way you want them to, and sometimes they don’t. That doesn’t make you a failure, it just makes you a human”.

And showing myself the same kind of compassion that I want Elle to show herself and that I hope you can show to yourself.

For anyone who’s in that dark, isolating place: I see you, you’re not alone.

I hope you can find some healing and just know that your story won’t be mine, but I hope that you find a sense of ease, a sense of peace, as you walk through this season.

For all of you navigating this stuff, whether you’re trying for a family, whether you don’t want children at all, or anywhere in between, I salute you.

Miscarriage and infertility can complicate the relationship we have with our bodies. This episode of the Feel Good Effect is all about how to love your body after experiencing miscarriage or infertility with some tactical things you can do to accept your body. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #gentlewellness #healthy #wellness #podcast #gentle #gentleisthenewperfect #bodylove #bodyacceptance #infertility #miscarriage


Simplified Guide to Body Love

Healthy Lifestyle, Real Food, Cancer, and Adoption, with Sonja Overhiser

A Plant-Based Diet and Endometriosis, with Jessica Murnane

5 Practices to Love Your Body: The Psychology of Body Acceptance

3 More Feel Good Effect Episodes You’ll Love

5 Practices to Love Your Body: The Psychology of Body Acceptance

How to Breathe for Body Love, with Ashley Neese

How to Cultivate Self-Compassion, with Dr. Kristin Neff

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86 How to Step into Your Power with Lalah Delia

Feel Good Effect PodcastPaige ReohrComment

This is a unique discussion with a beautiful soul about self-empowerment, stepping into your power, and so much more.

Lalah Delia talks all about how to empower yourself, how to step into your own power, and how to change the relationship with your body using daily, intentional choices. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #wellnesspodcast #healthyliving #podcast #surrender #vibratehigherdaily #empower #selflove

How to Step into Your Power with Lalah Delia

Lalah Delia, spiritual writer, wellness educator, and founder of Vibrate Higher Daily, walks us through how to empower yourself, how to step into your own power, and how to change the relationship with your body using daily, intentional choices.

Listen now!


Today we’re speaking with a beautiful soul, Lalah Delia.

Lalah is a spiritual writer, wellness educator, and founder of Vibrate Higher Daily.

This is a discussion about self-empowerment, about stepping into your power, and so much more-- you’re going to love this episode.

In this episode Lalah is sharing exactly what she means by vibrate higher, how to empower yourself and step into your own power, regardless of your life story, circumstances, or things that may have held you back.

We talk about making daily, intentional choices, aging with grace, and using all of this to change the relationship with your body, which is one of my favorite conversations that we’ve had about this.

And then a really interesting discussion about surrender-- what that means and how you can actually use that to let go of the things that are no longer serving you.

This episode is brought to you by our brand new Simplified Wellness Starter Guide.

Whether you’re a long-time listener or brand new to the podcast, I made this just for you.

It’s packed with simple strategies, habits, and mindset shifts to guide you toward that simplifying perspective in finding a new way to well, and you can grab it for free here.

Science-based, life-tested, and totally game changing.

It’s one thing to just listen to a podcast episode and then go back to your daily life, it’s another one to take action.

We get to talk to so many different experts, innovators, and thought leaders on the show, but we actually haven’t ever had someone in Lalah’s genre, talking about spirituality.

This is going to be such a different conversation, and the way Lalah got to where she’s at is so unique, so let’s dive in.

A little on how Lalah got to Vibrate Higher Daily:

Lalah is so passionate about vibrating higher daily because it has transformed the way she sees the world and the way she feels on a mind, body, spirit level.

It got her out of a life that was rock bottom and a time that seemed like the lows were out-shadowing the highs.

She was looking for a way to exit that cycle and have more balance in her life.

She shared her story publicly because she’s so passionate about people knowing and realizing that they can live a better life, no matter where they are or what they are looking to heal from.

All of these things are heavy and they’re sometimes hard to figure out on our own, but once we have the tools and a path, a whole other world opens to us and we have a new lease on life.

Lalah grew up with a heavy spiritual background, her father a practicing Buddhist, her mother a Christian involved with the church, her grandmothers church elders, and she was in the choir from as young as she can remember through adulthood.

But throughout that, Lalah had her own dark journeys and tests and trials where she questioned her faith and got lost.

She really had to meet the divine, the most high, on a personal level, and not a religious level.

She had to for herself, and not her family, which played a huge role in her personal relationship with the divine and her healing.

When you grow up in a religious family and culture, it can just become so robotic and automatic; you do things because that’s the culture that was set in place for you.

And it wasn’t until Lalah rebelled against it, a lot of that rebellion coming from pain and not knowing what to do with it.

She was holding in and hiding her traumas that she knew might upset her father, knowing that he might retaliate, being that it was the culture she lived in; when something happens to someone you love, you retaliate.

As a young girl that was the conversation she had with her peers, that she could keep this from her father and figure it out on her own, and she did just that for as long as she could

“There’s only so far we can carry our wounds on our own”.

When the path opened up for her, it was through more and more crises.

The ultimate two being physical abuse that got really bad and then she was diagnosed with an illness that required emergency surgery without a sure outcome.

So she trusted and she took it as a sign that something has to change, she couldn’t go back to the life that she had before she entered the emergency room, before that crisis.

From there, se decided not to have that surgery and entered the world of holistic medicine, which her sister had been trying to get her on the path of.

She took herbs and plant medicine and it healed her and her mind.

Having to be on a whole different nutritional path, which was completely plant-based, for 90 days completely restructured the way she thought, the way she felt, and her emotional state.

She was in awe, because up until that point she was in such a fight or flight mode all the time, her nervous system was always overactive.

Granted, there were beautiful times throughout that, but they were balanced with the pain, and finally she was able to feel fully balanced.

No matter what she was feeling inside, the whole mountain that she was going to have the climb to change her life didn’t look so big or foriegn anymore-- it was doable.

Her strength continued to grow, and she changed as a young woman, which led her to a whole different life and path.

Coming out of that was interesting for Lalah.

Her mother has always been about prayer, about keeping the most high in the situation, and she was the one that was making sure that Lalah was praying and was still keeping her faith with her.

She would send Lalah scriptures, prayers, or conversations to lead her back to the center, which was spirituality.

And when Lalah’s health crisis happened, it was almost as if everything they had planted in her was showing up in this time of crisis.

She was able to pull on that to the point of going further into the work, which for her, looked like taking classes, taking counseling, and doing the things that used to be very foreign to her, even though there was that stigma around it.

Coming from an inner-city, it’s not so popular to go to counseling-- there’s a whole thing about having to be strong and having the game face on all the time, which in actuality is so unhealthy and an unbalanced way to live.

But, if you’re living from a place of centered power, that’s healthy.

When you’re running from the pain and hiding the pain, masking it with a game face, that’s so unhealthy, and that’s where Lalah was.

Lalah’s spirituality allowed her to soften where she always felt hardened; it truly brought her to a place of surrender.

And after the surrender happened, that’s when so much started changing: the type of work she did, the type of friends she connected with, the types of relationships she was able to let go of-- this healing journey came for everything.

Through patience, diligence, and really trusting in a divine force guiding her, Lalah was trusting the process that everything would be okay throughout.

And it was scary to feel that at first, but the more she stuck to it, the stronger she got in it.

It allowed her to really stay faithful and at that moment, really live the faith she grew up learning about.

She was able to live from a higher perspective and a more centered place within.

On surrender:

Back in the day, surrendering wasn’t an easy option for Lalah.

Even now, it’s not something all of her family understands.

She has family members who are in gangs, others who are in the penitentiary-- the reality of some people is so completely different, and the word “surrender” can be a trigger instead of a word of healing.

It’s a matter of what vibration are you coming to the word with.

We all get our invitation to vibrate higher at different times and we just have to hold space and love for those whose invitation hasn't come yet, knowing that it can happen for them.

Surrendering is about not trying to manipulate the divine timing that’s set for us.

When we’re able to understand that “this is going to happen for me at the specific set time”, we can get into alignment with it, because all the best energies and working tools are in place to serve us better there, instead of trying to force it now.

“Surrendering is all about allowing what’s supposed to appear, appear, and knowing that you’re ready for it”.

On surrender and self-power:

When you’re trying to force everything, it’s just not going to be right, you’re going to end up harming yourself and hurting yourself more than if you just let go.

We give our power away in so many different ways when we choose not to surrender, whether it’s a nutritional path that we know we need to take on and give up a way that’s harming our body, or a relationship that we need to surrender in order to grow fuller a live a more fulfilled life, or a hope and a dream that we need to surrender to now in order for all the working parts to come into place.

Lalah Delia talks all about how to empower yourself, how to step into your own power, and how to change the relationship with your body using daily, intentional choices. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #wellnesspodcast #healthyliving #podcast #surrender #vibratehigherdaily #empower #selflove

“Surrender is never about giving up”.

Sometimes it can feel like surrendering is giving up, because the word gets used in such a negative connotation.

In movies and media, it’s all about surrendering as a victim and that’s the message around it.

But there’s a whole other reality and meaning for it, and that is surrendering to actually come into your power and your rightful place.

On what it means to vibrate higher and how to do it:

Vibrating higher daily is the mindset.

It’s the foundation of living a life that’s able to serve you in a way that’s healthier and more conducive to who you are here to be in the world.

We are these vibrational, energetic beings, and when we can understand that just as a computer needs charge so we can access so much of the world, the human body was the first electrical device; mind, body, spirit, we are electrical, meaning we do have to charge.

And there’s only so much energy that we have each day to give out.

As you give it out, it’s so important to vibrate higher in that way, meaning we are resting, rejuvenating, eating things that are nourishing and restoring to us.

And sometimes someone or something is giving energy back to us, but other times not so much.

Then, if it or they are giving energy back to us, we have to see if it’s serving us or not, if it’s draining us or fueling us.

How is this food fueling me back?

How is this person fueling me back?

How is the energy exchange between us?

Is this a draining energy? A helpful energy? An affirming energy? A disagreeable energy?

Lalah specifically includes the word “daily” in Vibrate Higher Daily because it’s all about starting where you are everyday.

Monday you may have been on top of the world but by Wednesday, maybe your energy reserves have depleted.

“Each day we have a choice to vibrate higher daily from where we find ourselves”.

It’s not vibrate higher daily where we’re going to reach some ultimate state of never being affected by the negative things in the world, but it’s daily knowing that we have the power, grace, and the ability to start where we are and choose to go higher, to choose not to let any of the negativity stick to us.

And again to surrender to a higher path.

Sometimes it’s more comfortable to stay in the hurt, in pain, in anger, in the lower vibration, in the deplicion.

When you’re depleted, it is harder to get up and go take the tonic, or go to the yoga studio, or go get in the bath, or to have the conversation and do the things that are necessary to put you back in a place of your power.

Vibrate higher daily is to truly know that to vibrate, you have to actually do something, there has to be some type of force there that helps you go higher.

And as you do it daily, it’s building you more and putting you in the direction of where you want to see energy in your life manifest.

We’ve talked about the feedback loop on the Feel Good Effect before.

We have a certain amount of energy every day, but we don’t have a cognizant way of paying attention to where that energy is going, which is exactly what Lalah is shining a light on.

By bringing that awareness and attention, there are a lot of ways that we can see what things are draining our energy and what is restoring it.

Paying attention to the loop and making those tweaks and changes allows that upward spiral to vibrate higher daily.

Being centered in your power:

As energetic beings, the energy gives power to us, to the things we’re putting into the world, to our relationships.

The word “power” can be as inclusive as you want it to be, from power through the way you eat, to power through the way you show up in relationships, to power how you’re manifesting the world.

It’s so important to show up wherever we are, daily, in our power, because when we’re not in our power, that means something else is in control.

Energy exchange is a beautiful dance all day long.

And like two people dancing, it can be out of harmony, but when two people know what they’re doing in the same instance, it’s a beautiful exchange.

It’s about keeping your power when you’re around people, keeping your power in relationships, and keeping your power within your inner life, which can be replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.

Something as simple as scrolling through social media can take our power away, if we are unintentionally seeing something that just drains us or a news headline that just shakes us to our core.

This vibrating higher daily path allows us to not be taken aback.

Lalah Delia talks all about how to empower yourself, how to step into your own power, and how to change the relationship with your body using daily, intentional choices. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #wellnesspodcast #healthyliving #podcast #surrender #vibratehigherdaily #empower #selflove

“We can show up in our power and know that we can offer the world a higher vibrational path”.

Whether it’s an answer, or to listen, or show up in service.

On “growing in grace”:

Lalah never says she’s growing older, she says that she’s growing in grace.

She absolutely honors women who have come before us and lived a well-versed life, whether it’s a life of pain or of triumph, they can teach us.

Lalah is from that indigenous mindset, the ancestral sacred mindset that elders know the way.

Understanding that a lot of people need to feel youthful in order to feel powerful, Lalah truly looks to women who are well-versed enough to teach the younger generation.

It’s important for everyone to honor each other in that way of learning and growing from each other.

On a changing power structure:

The whole power structure is shifting and changing now.

It’s crumbling and a new system is birthing, and Lalah is sitting in the front seat with her popcorn excited, knowing that this is what we’ve all been doing the work for.

We each have the power to send divine energy and intentions out into the world.

And there’s so many ways that the power structure is changing-- it’s calling for each of us to stand in our own power in order to change the world, because it’s going to take all of us to do it.

On taking back the power with our relationship with our bodies:

Awareness is the first place to center in on.

There are three things going on with body consciousness:

1 | on one hand there’s a field where women are becoming surgically enhanced.

2 | there’s a middle-field where women, acknowledging the field of enhancement, weigh whether or not they want to reach those types of goals.

3 | then there’s the other side of the spectrum with women who are completely body-positive.

It’s all about asking yourself where you want to be in order to feel high vibrational.

It’s about looking to see what the original intention was.

Is it comparison? If so, you’ll know it’s not the highest vibrational place you can have.

“If you come from a place that’s not the most genuine… it’ll always lead you to chasing more and more outside approval and gratification. And if you are from a place of loving yourself, of self-love, that’s where you’ll always have the most beautiful energy and the most healing”.

The body will not recognize itself, as far as vibrational, if you continue bringing in outside energies and comparisons; it will be at work with itself.

Lalah Delia talks all about how to empower yourself, how to step into your own power, and how to change the relationship with your body using daily, intentional choices. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #wellnesspodcast #healthyliving #podcast #surrender #vibratehigherdaily #empower #selflove

“We have our own unique power, we have our own unique body, and we don’t have to treat our body like it’s not enough”.

As we continue to vibrate higher and live in awareness of all of our gifts, of self-love, of healing the wounds within, our bodies start looking more beautiful to us.

Know that you’re not alone in this struggle, it’s about what types of women you’re looking at and what types of conversations you’re leaning into

We have to understand that we’re continually growing into the women that we are and that’s a process that takes patience and love.

Send yourself love, love, love.

On what’s lighting up Lalah right now:

Absolutely, 100% writing her book.

She and her editor are getting very close to turning in their manuscript and it has been a life-changing journey for her.

Lalah absolutely loves this process, so turning in the manuscript will be bitter-sweet, but she’s looking forward to the next steps in this ongoing process.

She wants this to be a source of motivation, inspiration, encouragement, and application.

Stay tuned for her publish date in Fall of 2019!

Visit Vibrate Higher Daily to subscribe to her newsletter and stay in the know.

On what it really means to be healthy:

“True healthiness, to me, is wellness… And I think healthy is a holistic way of living, when the way you treat people, the way you live, the work you do in the word, it’s all from the same vibration, your higher vibrational self, and it’s in a place of service, of love, of wellness… It’s all connected. When you can live in that place… that is healthy living”.

Lalah Delia talks all about how to empower yourself, how to step into your own power, and how to change the relationship with your body using daily, intentional choices. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #wellnesspodcast #healthyliving #podcast #surrender #vibratehigherdaily #empower #selflove

Guest Bio

Lalah Delia, is a spiritual writer, wellness educator, and the founder of She is engaged daily in pushing wholeness, harmony, transformation, self-empowerment, and healthy lifestyle, forward, through the message and practice of vibrating higher daily.

Lalah’s core message is that vibration plays a contributing, and very interconnected, role throughout our everyday lives, our experiences, manifestations, doings, being, and becomings. And, that our vibration governs how we show up in the world and how we perceive it.

Lalah’s work is a response to the current world we live, maneuver, and journey in and through daily.

Lalah can be found featured in Glamour Magazine, Thoughtfully Magazine, and by ESSENCE, LA YOGA, GIRLBOSS, Prestige Magazine, Black Girl In OM, and more.

Her book Vibrate Higher Daily, Live Your Power, with HarperOne publishing, will soon be available everywhere books are sold, this fall.


Simplified Wellness Starter Guide

Vibrate Higher Daily

How to Make Time for Wellness

Connect with Lalah on Instagram @lalahdelia and Twitter @lalahdelia

3 More Feel Good Effect Episodes You’ll Love

The True Meaning of Wellness, with Colleen Wachob

How to Stop Overthinking Mindfulness

How to Know What to Do With Your Life, with Jonathan Fields

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85 5 Practices to Love Your Body: The Psychology of Body Acceptance

Feel Good Effect PodcastPaige ReohrComment

We’re all about finding more body love and really getting into some tactical practices that you can do to move the needle in how you feel in your own skin.

This is all about finding more body love and really getting into some tactical practices that you can do to move the needle in how you feel in your own skin. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #podcast #wellnesspodcast #bodylove #gentle #wellness #gentleisthenewperfect #livewell #bodyacceptance

5 Practices to Love Your Body: The Psychology of Body Acceptance

Drawing on the science of cutting edge psychology and ancient teachings of mindfulness, we dive into 5 practices for body love. These are tactical practices that you can do right now to find more body love, more body acceptance, and to just feel better in the skin that you’re in.

Listen now!


Today we are going to dive into 5 practices for body love.

These are tactical things that you can do right now to find more body love, more body acceptance, and to just feel better in the skin that you’re in.

We’re drawing on the science, cutting edge psychology, and ancient teachings.

I’m so glad you’re here for this episode about finding more body love and really getting into some practices, some tactical things that you can do to move the needle in how you feel in your own skin.

I put together a printable, downloadable PDF guide to go along with this episode.

Simplified Guide to Body Love

Download the free guide for 5 practices to love your body.

    no spam, just love headed your way

    This guide is another totally free resource from me to you and it really outlines each practice for you.

    I love providing these resources for you because you can listen and really soak it in, but then take the next step and take some action.

    Grab the guide here, there’s a beautiful place to take notes, to reflect, and you can pick one practice.

    I’ll give you 5 options, but you don’t need to do all of them.

    You can pick one and really focus on it, practice it, put it into your life and see how you start to feel different.

    As practicing begins to change the way your brain is wired, and you start to feel different, you may want to adopt another one or you might just stick with one.

    Let’s put this stuff into action.

    On body love and body acceptance:

    I did an episode a few months back called, How I Learned to Accept My Body.

    It was a discussion into my own personal journey around body acceptance and I received so much feedback from that episode that I wanted to continue the conversation.

    This month we’ve talked with Ashley Neese about using breath work for body love, and we have a couple more episodes coming up with the same theme.

    I want to continue having this conversation because I hear from you all the time in my Instagram messages, email, and Facebook group that this conversation is important to you and this is something you really struggle with.

    That fully loving and accepting the body that you’re in is difficult.

    According to the stats, that’s very typical.

    I was diving into the research on body acceptance and body image and I found that up to 88% of women are dissatisfied with or so far as hate their bodies.

    What in the world?!

    I understand that, though, and I think I see that when I look at my peers and friends and just the ways that women talk about themselves and their bodies.

    We’ve normalized it so much that we think it’s the only way and there’s an isolation around it, because this is a conversation that’s happening in your own head on a daily basis to the point where you might not even notice that it’s happening.

    So, as always with all the work here at the Feel Good Effect and Real Food Whole Life, my point is never to shame you; it’s about bringing some of this stuff out into the light so we can talk about it and move toward solutions.

    Depending on your history, if you’ve struggled with and eating disorder or you were picked on for your body growing up or if you just struggle with your body it's changed over time, it can be challenging.

    I know that for myself, body acceptance has been challenging, particularly in my 20’s as I gained weight, lost weight, and then after I had Elle (which I’ve talked about a lot) I gained a lot of weight.

    Note: this is not just about weight.

    Weight is an important piece to talk about with this, but body acceptance and body image have to do with more than size, it’s the changes in my physical body, the weight, and just how I felt about myself that I really struggled with after having her.

    Even today, as someone who is visible in the wellness industry, I can find myself getting caught up in the comparison game, especially in fitness and wellness particularly, where most women are very, very small.

    That’s part of what they’re selling, and I am not quite that size so if I start comparing myself to them and thinking that’s what wellness has to look like, but I don’t look like that, it can send me into a spiral.

    I try to be honest with you guys that this is not about perfection, that I’m not perfect, that body love is not a perfect thing, that I don’t expect myself never to have a bad day, or never think a negative thought— that’s not the expectation.

    But overtime, I have found a lightness and an acceptance, and even a love for this physical body that I’m in.

    And really, it’s through these practices that these changes happen, so I want to be able to share that with you.

    Practices for body love:

    These practices that I’ll share with you are based on cutting-edge psychology, science, and also mindfulness and ancient teachings around acceptance and compassion.

    This is the conversation I want to have around bodies and I think that in the general population, media, and social media that there’s the body-positive movement that I’ve talked about before.

    I love the body-positive movement, but this is a slight detour from that group, because I’m talking about body love.

    To me, body love is simply about finding body acceptance, quieting that inner-body bully, and feeling truly comfortable in your own skin.

    It’s not about making excuses, giving up, or taking the easy road, and it’s not even about leaving behind all self-improvement.

    We talk a lot about finding that middle ground between self-acceptance and self-improvement.

    The amazing thing is when we’re able to squelch that inner bully and find a kinder, gentler way to be, it’s actually linked with more health, happiness, and overall well-being.

    We feel better, but also we’re able to reach our health goals when we come at it from this loving place.

    There is often this assumption that if we bully and negative self-talk ourselves enough, it will motivate ourselves to change.

    I know many of you are afraid that if you give up the negative self-talk and the bullying, that you won’t be motivated anymore, and when you hear “self acceptance”, that’s what you think I’m talking about.

    But it’s not.

    Acceptance just means, “this is what’s happening right now. It is what it is at this moment”, and you spend a little less energy on fighting and beating yourself up.

    And you take that energy from your spiraling and you put it toward these practices and/or toward other things that have nothing to do with your body, like reading, spending time with your family, participating in hobbies.

    If we could harness all of the energy that goes into the inner-body bashing toward other things, we would be so much better off.

    So again, you don’t have to sit here and feel guilty if you know this is an issue for you, let it go and we’ll talk about the 5 practices.

    Before we get there, I have to say as I always do: we have to let go of the striving mindset as we approach these practices, which are perfectionism, all or nothing thinking, and comparison.

    And that’s the risk of talking about body love, body acceptance, or even body positive is that we  into it with a striving mindset and it kind of backfires.

    We think we have to be perfect at it, that we can’t have a negative thought or a bad feeling about the way we look.

    Or we think that we have to practice this every day so we go all or nothing, we’re going to do all 5 of these practices and never miss a day.

    Or we get stuck in the comparison game where we’re looking at other people and how they’re implementing these kinds of things and we think someone else’s way looks different than ours, so we must be doing it wrong.

    Hit pause on this driving mindset, hit pause on perfectionism, all or nothing thinking, and comparison, and just find a different way to be as we navigate these practices.

    Remember, you can grab the Simplified Guide to Body Love to go along with this episode.

    It has all 5 practices written out and a place for notes so you can just listen and have it there for you.

    5 Practices for Body Love:

    1 | Gratitude.

    We talk about gratitude on the show all the time, but this is gratitude specifically related to your beautiful body.

    Practicing gratitude is an amplifier, meaning that it allows you to enjoy all the good and amazing things, in this case, about your body.

    Intentionally practicing gratitude also increases mindfulness, which over time will actually allow you to appreciate all the good things about your body without working so hard to do it.

    The interesting thing about our brain is that we tend to see threats, danger, and bad over good and positive.

    This is a protective aspect of our brain, but then knowing this is true we kind of have to work hard to balance it out.

    Think about when you look in the mirror in a dressing room or at a photograph of yourself, does your brain immediately pick out all the flaws, all the ways that you don’t like what you see?

    Part of that is just how your brain is wired, but part of it is how you practiced responding to looking at yourself.

    The amazing thing about gratitude is that it will help you rewire your brain to see the whole picture.

    It doesn’t mean that you’ll never see a flaw, it just means that you’ll be able to acknowledge, see, and feel the good parts that you’re ignoring in those moments.

    What it is: practicing the good, in this case, as related to your body.

    What it’s not: it doesn’t mean you don’t have painful or negative thoughts or emotions or that you never have a bad day.

    It’s helping expand your reality to include the good things that are actually there.

    How to do it: get really specific.

    I think one of the challenges people have when creating a gratitude practice is that they’re so general.

    “I’m grateful for my body” is a great place to start, but if you can get more specific, you’ll find that it has a more powerful and faster effect.

    I would also encourage you to find gratitude for things that aren’t so focused on the way your body physically looks.

    For example, you might find gratitude for the way that your heart is beating, the way that your breath feels going in and out, the way that your legs carry you from place to place.

    It’s fine if this seems a little inauthentic or forced to you at first, because if you’re not used to doing this, it’s going to feel awkward— just embrace the awkwardness, because it’s a practice and over time your brain will change.

    Not only will you change your brain start to look for the specific things, you’ll be amazed at the number of ways you’ll find gratitude all the time, and it also won’t feel so awkward or forced, it will feel more natural and authentic to you.

    Tip: another science-based part of this practice is to write it down.

    Start a body gratitude journal and at the end of the day or in the morning, just write down three things about your body.

    If three is too many, start with one.

    And if you miss a day, come back the next day.

    I encourage you to make this a practice that you do more days than you don’t because when you write it down, you’re forced to notice it, and as you’re forced to notice it your brain expands in its ability to see the big picture.

    If you get stuck and you can’t think of anything, that’s great information too because if you can’t think of anything to be grateful for, it’s probably time to really hone in on this practice.

    It might help to deemphasize how your body looks and focus more on what it does for you or how it feels, expanding the definition of what body love means can be so powerful.

    Just start doing it, don’t overthink it, 1-3 things a day about your body that you’re grateful for.

    2 | Forgiveness.

    If you haven’t listened to last week’s episode with Ashley Neese, we talked about how to breathe for body love, about forgiveness, and using breath to actively practice self-forgiveness.

    This is not one that’s talked about a lot out there in general popular media, although I hope it starts to take hold.

    This has been pretty game-changing for me and one that I didn’t realize was even an issue until I started really thinking about it.

    For me, this really stems from my own relationship with my body through my struggle with infertility, miscarriage, and illness; it’s taken me a long time to realize that I was angry at my body.

    Why is it failing me, why is it broken, why won’t it do what I want it to do?

    And this anger and lack of forgiveness was causing me a lot of pain and suffering.

    Maybe for you it’s not related to childbearing, maybe it’s aging, or the way that you’ve eaten or exercised or not in the past; we all have stuff around bodies, and some of us are carrying around a lot.

    Note: if big stuff comes up here, I would highly recommend working with a trained professional, this isn’t medical mental health advice, it’s just science-based practice.

    If this is something that you feel like you’re really struggling with, I would highly recommend that you find a mental health professional to work with you on it, because that can make such a big difference.

    For the purposes of our practices, a forgiveness practice is really the act of consciously forgiving yourself for past actions or behaviors.

    Allowing the past to be in the past.

    “Forgiveness means taking healthy responsibility for what’s happened”.

    It’s about creating space for new beginnings in the present moment.

    What it is: it’s a practice of forgiving yourself for past behaviors, actions, or experiences related to your body.

    What it’s not: it’s not releasing personal responsibility, you can own your past without allowing your past to determine your future.

    How to do it: find a quiet space, focus on your breath, breathing in and out, and actively forgive yourself for what behavior or action you’ve been holding onto related to your body.

    This has been really powerful for me and something I’ve had to work through.

    It doesn’t happen overnight, none of these do, but it’s been pretty amazing and I’m excited to be able to share it with you.

    There’s more on this in the free guide and I’d recommend this episode with Ashley Neese and her book, How to Breathe, for more on breathing for forgiveness.

    3 | The Feel Factor.

    The Feel Factor means reframing the relationship you have with your body, from how it looks to how it feels.

    Obviously we’re always going to notice how our body looks, but can we at least add in this other part of how it feels?

    What it is: it’s tuning into how your body feels and then engaging in activities to allow your body to feel good.

    What it’s not: this is not about obsessing, chasing perfection, or all or nothing, feeling like we have to feel good all the time now and everything we do has to make us feel good.

    This is about adjusting our perspective to add this emphasis on feeling into the picture.

    How to do it: ask yourself this simple question, “How does my body feel?

    You can just start with that question, but I’ve found that getting specific really helps this hit home.

    To get more specific, ask, “How does my body feel before, during, and after?

    For example, how does my body feel before, during, and after a third cup of coffee?

    This is one of the ways I’ve adjusted how much caffeine I drink.

    It’s not about restrictive rules or doing something because somebody else told me caffeine is good or bad, it’s really about this loop, “how do I feel before, during, and after?” and not having shame but just having feedback.

    It’s a constant experiment, dialogue, and loop, there’s no right or wrong, it’s just what actually works for me.

    It’s just about creating this loop within yourself where you’re looking and asking: “How can I feel really good in my own skin?

    It can be a little tricky, especially if you’re used to following other plans or those of you who are Seekers (find your Wellness Personality here) and want to jump on the next big thing, this one requires a little more self-study.

    “Keep asking, listening, and making adjustments. Allow this process to be iterative, creative, and experimental. The more you ask and listen, the more you’ll learn exactly what you need”.

    4 | Embrace your humanness.

    This is all about finding more body love and really getting into some tactical practices that you can do to move the needle in how you feel in your own skin. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #podcast #wellnesspodcast #bodylove #gentle #wellness #gentleisthenewperfect #livewell #bodyacceptance

    “Having compassion for yourself and your body comes from embracing your humanness”.

    Knowing and embracing that you’re human is a fundamental part of self-compassion.

    (I highly recommend my conversation with Dr. Kristin Neff on cultivating self-compassion)

    I think when people hear self-compassion they don’t really know what it means, and part of it is just knowing that you’re human and knowing what that means.

    This is all about finding more body love and really getting into some tactical practices that you can do to move the needle in how you feel in your own skin. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #podcast #wellnesspodcast #bodylove #gentle #wellness #gentleisthenewperfect #livewell #bodyacceptance

    It means knowing that “the human body is perfectly imperfect, ever changing, and never was meant to fit an impossible standard of perfection”.

    What it is: it’s practicing self-compassion by embracing the idea that human bodies are perfectly imperfect.

    How to do it: in moments of body bullying, embrace your humanness.

    Know that human bodies are perfectly imperfect and try to talk to yourself in the way that you would talk to a loved one.

    Flip the script and reframe the narrative to the way you would talk to a loved one.

    Be kind. Be on your own side.

    Tip: for some people, scripting this out actually helps.

    It might feel a little bit forced at first and that’s totally fine-- it’ll feel forced because you’ve not done it and you don’t have this dialogue yet.

    But if you constantly find that you are beating yourself up because of your belly or your hips or you think you’re not toned enough or cellulite or wrinkles (I could go on and on, right?), literally write out a different script.

    It might help if you think about a daughter, a son, a best friend, a parent, or a partner and that they’re struggling with this, what would you want them to say to themselves?

    Take that guide and write out the script.

    How would you want someone you love to talk to themselves and acknowledge their humanness?

    5 | Triggers and inputs.

    This is really about starting to pay attention to body bullying triggers, and then working to change the inputs.

    What it is: it’s awareness of the inputs that set off body bullying.

    What it isn’t: it’s not blaming others (the media, influencers, social media) for the way you feel about your own body.

    It’s easy to blame everyone else, and to a certain extent I’m right there with you, but we also have a lot of choices.

    This is about owning your own power and making different choices.

    How to do it: start paying attention to moments of body bullying and ask, “what set this off?”.

    It’s a beautiful moment to notice that you’re in a cycle, so what happened that triggered that moment?

    Was it putting on a piece of clothing that no longer fit?

    Was it scrolling through social media?

    Was it watching TV?

    Was it going to an event?

    And then work on changing the inputs.

    Work on changing things you can control.

    For example, donate the clothing item that no longer fits, stop torturing yourself with a pair of jeans you wore before you had a kid.

    Follow people on social media who inspire you in ways other than their bodies.

    I love all the body positivity people on the internet and I follow some of them, but I also follow people who aren’t just talking about their bodies all the time.

    Consider curating what you’re looking at and diversify with people who have other things to share.

    Watch different shows; you have a lot of choice when it comes to what you consume, so use it.

    These practices definitely aren’t about saying mantras about how you love yourself.

    This idea is really about taking what we know from the research, science, psychology, and ancient teachings, and giving you some really tactical tools.

    I would pick one and put it into practice, start doing it more days than not.

    See how it shifts.

    The goal is never perfection, it’s not full body acceptance and body love and you never think about it again, it's just about finding a different way to be and embracing a little more gentleness and a little more kindness.

    Grab the guide and let us know how it goes.

    This is all about finding more body love and really getting into some tactical practices that you can do to move the needle in how you feel in your own skin. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #podcast #wellnesspodcast #bodylove #gentle #wellness #gentleisthenewperfect #livewell #bodyacceptance

    84 How to Breathe for Body Love with Ashley Neese

    Feel Good Effect PodcastPaige ReohrComment

    This is an honest and vulnerable conversation with tons of tactical takeaways on the basics of breathwork and how to adopt simple practices using breathwork to fundamentally change your life.

    Breathwork 101: simple and effective breathwork strategies that you can start using today, and how to use breathwork to fundamentally change the relationship with your body. #feelgoodeffect #podcast #realfoodwholelife #wellnesspodcast #bodylove #selflove # seflcare #gentlewellness #gentleisthenewperfect #breathwork

    How to Breathe for Body Love with Ashley Neese

    We’re talking breathwork 101 with renowned author and teacher Ashley Neese. Ashley provides a fresh take on this topic and some simple and effective breathwork strategies that you can start using today.

    Listen now!

    Today we are diving deep into breathwork with renowned author and teacher, Ashley Neese.

    Ashley has studied with some of the world’s leading masters in yoga, meditation, medical intuition, and somatic therapy.

    She draws from a deep well of resources to guide people back into their bodies where they learn how to cultivate resilience, develop relational intelligence, and trust the wisdom held within.

    Her passion lies in the belief that our deepest and most profound healing occurs when we listen to the unique language of our bodies.

    Today we’re talking breathwork 101: simple and effective breathwork strategies that you can start using today, and how to use breathwork to fundamentally change the relationship with your body.

    This is Ashley’s second time on the podcast.

    In our first conversation, she shares her story, how she came to breathwork, and really some of the fundamentals about breathwork.

    In this interview, we’re talking everything from breathwork 101 to adopting simple breathwork practices that will fundamentally change your life and using your relationship with your body.

    Ashley provides a fresh take on this topic, and I think you’ll love the honesty, vulnerability, and the tactical takeaways from this episode.

    This episode is brought to you by our brand new Simplified Wellness Starter Guide, which I made just for you, the Feel Good Effect and Real Food Whole Life community.

    It’s completely free, packed with simple strategies, habits, and mindset shifts that will guide you to start simplifying and find a new way to well.

    It’s science-based, life-tested, and totally life changing-- you can grab it here.

    On Ashley’s new book:

    Ashley found breathwork in her own life and started to work with other people before coming to a place where she needed to share it more broadly, in her new book.

    So many of her clients were asking for take-home practices, so she found herself taking notes during her sessions and sending them home with practices in PDF form.

    They were always asking her for practical tools, and as things grew with Ashley’s blog and Instagram, she just kept getting so many requests for practices from people who couldn’t necessarily come in for a session or attend a workshop.

    It became clear that people were wanting practices and wanting tools.

    She has been a writer her whole life and it was just the perfect time to set out and write her book.

    She spent quite a long time on the proposal and on finding an agent and going through that process.

    The ultimate goal was to have a set of really practical and accessible tools to help people use the breath to get back into their bodies and have a set of tools that they can use in a myriad of everyday situations.

    And Ashley absolutely did that; she was able to combine her storytelling and her eye for beautiful design and practicality in her jam-packed book that allows you to pick it up and just start now.

    Breathwork 101: what it is and why it matters.

    “Breathwork is really a form of active meditation and ultimately it is an invitation to inhabit your body, it’s an invitation to pay attention, it’s an invitation to slow down, and it’s an invitation to explore what’s inside your body.

    What you store in your body emotionally, what’s happening for you physically, and for some people what their bigger purpose is spiritually”.

    But it seems like there are some misconceptions for people about what it means to “be in your body” or “get into your body”.

    In fact, both Robyn and Ashley have worked with people who talk about wanting to get out of their body, whether that’s through watching TV or exercising.

    What Ashley means when she says “breathwork is an invitation to get inside of your body” is going inward, looking internally instead of externally, really slowing down (a slow pace is actually key here) to reflect on what’s going on internally.

    She usually starts just by having people put their feet on the floor, feeling the earth beneath their feet, feeling the floor, making some contact, and then starting to explore what’s there.

    These days, Ashely sees a lot of people who don’t want to be inside of their bodies for different reasons, and if your impulse is to not be in your body she urges you to explore why that is.

    Why don’t you want to be in your body? Is it because you have tension? Is it because there’s grief? Is it because it doesn’t feel safe to you?

    But if you don’t know, the best way to explore that might be to start a breathwork practice.

    It’s a great place to start, and you don’t always know and that’s okay.

    Ahsley’s practice is always about being gentle, being tender, really giving yourself a lot of space to explore that unknown.

    “It’s okay to start with not knowing and just to start with a simple inhale and a simple exhale”.

    As you inhale and exhale, see if you notice one sensation in your body.

    Can you feel one thing in your body as you’re inhaling and exhaling? What is that?

    From there you can start to build, maybe the next time you can notice two different sensations in your.

    Before you know it, you’ll really feel things in a different way.

    As our bodies are constantly changing and we go through transitions, trauma, grief, aging, and changes in our relationships, that immediate, tactal, reciprocal loop where we’re constantly checking is a magical thing.

    Ashley has a whole section in her book around trauma in the body and the thing is, our bodies cannot tell the difference between physical and emotional danger.

    If something is happening to us physically or emotionally, our bodies register it the same.

    The reason for that is the fight or flight response to stimuli, whether that’s emotional or physical.

    And the very primal part of the brain, the amygdala, which is involved here, always thinks that we’re in physical danger, which is why we have the physical symptoms.

    The amazing thing about the breath, is that we have the power, no matter what the situation, to change what’s happening in our brain by changing the rate of respiration, by slowing down the breath.

    A lot of times you’ll hear in wellness, let’s talk about affirmations and if you say “I am calm and peaceful”, you will be calm and peaceful.

    But that’s never been the case for Ashley.

    If her anxiety is through the roof, her chest is contracted, and her mind is in that fight or flight space, an affirmation is not going to help her get out of that.

    What is going to help her get out of that is to slow down her breathing.

    The nice thing about this is that it’s really accessible and it has absolutely nothing to do with the content of what you’re experiencing, all it has to do with is you taking a longer exhale.

    “By slowing that process down, even just by a little bit… that can really start to change what’s happening in the brain and start to kick on the parasympathetic nervous system, which will then tell the body that everything is safe”.

    Even though you might still be in an argument, you’re safe, you have agency, and in that moment you can make a different choice.

    But when we’re stuck in that fight or flight response, we have very limited access to choice, we’re just on autopilot.

    If through the work being done through the Feel Good Effect and Real Food Whole Life, the one message Robyn would want to share with women is that “you can take back that agency of your own body regardless of what’s happened to it, you have the power to slow things down and to take those pauses and to let your body experience rest and digest because we cannot live in that state of fight or flight forever, things break”.

    It’s initially a mindset shift that by taking this pause and slowing things down, it’s not only self-care it’s rewiring the brain and physiology.

    When we’re struggling with trauma, when we’re struggling with healing from our trauma, it’s really important that we remind ourselves that our bodies are doing exactly what they’re supposed to do.

    Ashley will often hear from clients, “I’m so frustrated with my body right now, I’m trying to get through this thing and it’s just tensing up” or “my fight or flight is on, it just keeps turning on, what’s wrong with my body?”

    But that’s what your body is supposed to do, it’s supposed to protect you.

    What your body needs in that moment is just a little space, a little pause, so that you can start to recalibrate your internal alarm system.

    And that’s why breathwork is so great, it helps you recalibrate and then you’re creating a new neural pathway.

    Overtime you have the experience of being in an argument and remembering you have this tool to pause and take five breaths; that pathway will get created through practice and it will become more automatic.

    Coming at negative inner-dialogue through Ashley’s work:

    Robyn relates to and frequently hears from people that, “my body has failed me” in some way.

    For her, that internal conversation has been around fertility, miscarriages, endometriosis, and autoimmune disease.

    At a certain point in your life as you age, everybody has a list of things that your body does that you would choose it not to do, perhaps.

    There are so many ways that we have this complicated relationship.

    To work with that, Ashley always has people start with the breath because the breath is the foundation and an invitation to go inside and start to explore.

    “We have this cultural layer that tells us our bodies are our projects, our bodies need work”.

    One of the things Ashley works on a lot in her practice is this mindset shift, which starts with the breath.

    It’s not an affirmation, that doesn’t really work when we’re angry at our bodies, there’s a need for deeper work around that.

    Start with the breath, and use it to explore the places in the body where that tension is being held, where you’re feeling contracted, pain, or grief.

    Those are all parts of the body that need to be explored with the breath and in that process, a mindset shift will start to come online.

    Breathwork 101: simple and effective breathwork strategies that you can start using today, and how to use breathwork to fundamentally change the relationship with your body. #feelgoodeffect #podcast #realfoodwholelife #wellnesspodcast #bodylove #selflove # seflcare #gentlewellness #gentleisthenewperfect #breathwork

    “My body does need care and support. It’s not a project that needs work”.

    There’s this other issue for women, who are taught from a young age to constantly monitor themselves through their bodies, everything down to the clothes they wear to the food they eat and even just being told to smile.

    For Ashley, most of the anger around her body are around her boundaries.

    Because she’s had such a lack of boundary around her body, she’s ended up with adrenal fatigue among other disorders that come from a lack of being able to say “no” and protect her energy and physical body.

    Note: there are multiple ways to heal, especially around serious trauma.

    But with Robyn’s experience around breathwork, with Ashley’s work especially, she’s found that allowing that relationship to repair, allowing space, allowing pause, and actively calming her system and allowing that conversation to take place and to ask that question, “Is my body really failing me? Is this really the relationship I want to have with the body that I live in?”.

    And she admits that she’s still working on some of that, she’d never say it’s over and things change over time, but it’s been a very healing practice for her in terms of that conversation and feeling safe in her own body.

    It’s hard to feel safe if you’re mad at your body and feel like it’s failing you.

    The biggest thing Ashley is working through right now is treating her body as her home, treating her body as a form of deep, sacred space.

    If we can’t feel at home and safe in our own skin, it’s really hard to navigate the world, not only for yourself but in order to take care of the things and people that you care about.

    Ashley is finding with motherhood, all the exploration, health and development, and the real sleep deprivation that leaves her questioning if she’s cut out for this.

    Having an infant is a whole new level of really showing up and doing another deep layer of work to really inhabit her body because it is her job now to regulate his nervous system.

    We’re willing to do things for our children that often we aren’t willing to do for ourselves first, and in Robyn’s case, it is very much her own emotional regulation and her own relationship with her body which is directly affecting her daughter not only through what she teaches her but through their physical relationship.

    It’s something she is constantly working on herself so she can help her daughter learn that as well.

    Ashley, too, experienced this through her pregnancy and now with a month old son, but he’s teaching her everyday to take that long exhale and pause.

    She notes that she’s doing him a much bigger service when she’s at that edge feeling tired and frustrated, to just take that pause.

    He’s not verbal yet, but it’s something she’s teaching his system that “this person is pausing, they are taking care of themselves, they are self-regulating”.

    The power of the exhale:

    The parasympathetic nervous system is our rest and digest mode, it’s the system that we tap into when we’re really doing deep restoration when we’re sleeping, when we’re digesting food.

    It’s also giving us more of a global perspective, the ability to pull back and really see what’s happening.

    And the exhale is associated with the parasympathetic nervous system.

    So just by bringing a gentle awareness to the exhale, you’re already starting to communicate with that system that things are okay.

    “We don’t have to have it all figured out right now”.

    A really simple way to work with exhale is to start to practice extending it: maybe you inhale for two counts and then exhale for three or four.

    You can keep it so, so simple, which Ashley suggests especially in the beginning and if creating a breathing practice is new.

    Most of her clients actually have more trouble with the exhale than the inhale.

    The inhale is what’s associated with the sympathetic nervous system, the fight or flight, super active, and most people she sees have that down and the exhale is where they tend to struggle the most, which is also the case for Ashley.

    And it’s an undershared message.

    Robyn has noticed in fitness classes with any type of breathwork at the end, several people get up and leave.

    To her, the message is “I don’t value this. I value the burn, I value the push, but I don’t value this other part”.

    There’s such an emphasis on calorie burn, getting our metabolism up, getting your heart rate up, which all can be important parts of wellness, but we haven’t acknowledged how much this other part counts.

    Trying to reframe the conversation around what counts is important.

    One of the markers of health and vitality in our bodies is how much oxygen we have in our bloodstream.

    In that way, breathwork is a really good way to increase our lung capacity, which will in turn increase the amount of oxygen in our bloodstream, which will lead to greater health and vitality.

    Our lungs mature by the time we hit 23-25, and by the time we hit 35 our lung function declines, and at 50 it declines again and continues.

    We cannot change the physical size of our lungs, but decreasing capacity with aging is something to pay attention to.

    And one way we can increase our lung capacity is through breathing.

    Ashley’s book:

    The book has three parts.

    The first part is kind of the nuts and bolts: talking about what breathwork is, the nervous system, and about emotions and the breath.

    The second part of the book is how-to: it’s super practical talking about how to incorporate a breathwork practice, what that means, and how to set yourself up for success.

    And the last part is categorical: everything is listed by category, from anger to forgiveness to energy to boundaries.

    And then the way each practice is organized is a brief introduction to the specific practice, the actual practice, and then notes.

    It’s light reading and gets right into the actual practices.

    There is an audio version of her book as well.

    And if you’re not sure where to start, Ashley suggests to always start with grounding, which is a great way to start slowing down and open up.

    Forgiveness for body love:

    This practice is really good to do on days when you feel like you made more mistakes than you would have preferred.

    This is a nourishing practice all about being really gentle with yourself.

    Forgiving ourselves is a huge part of self-care and body-love.

    Going through life constantly bullying yourself doesn’t work and it’s exhausting.

    Self-forgiveness is what gentle is the new perfect is all about.

    On what’s coming up for Ashley:

    Ashley has some digital classes coming up in May, which have been in the works for almost two years.

    This will be a great way to access these tools and practice with a community.

    There will be new practices, new insights, and it’ll be a way to take this work to another level.

    On what it really means to be healthy:

    “Being able to take a pause when you need it, and to ask for help”.

    Breathwork 101: simple and effective breathwork strategies that you can start using today, and how to use breathwork to fundamentally change the relationship with your body. #feelgoodeffect #podcast #realfoodwholelife #wellnesspodcast #bodylove #selflove # seflcare #gentlewellness #gentleisthenewperfect #breathwork

    Guest Bio

    Ashley Neese is a renowned breathwork teacher and author. She has studied with some of the world’s leading masters in yoga, meditation, medical intuition and somatic therapy.

    Ashley draws from .this deep well of resources to guide people back into their bodies where they learn beyond the cognitive mind how to cultivate resilience, develop relational intelligence and trust the wisdom held within. Her passion lies in the belief that our deepest and most profound healing occurs when we learn to listen to the unique language of our bodies. She is in private practice in California.


    The Simplified Wellness Starter Guide

    How to Breathe for Health, with Ashley Neese


    Instagram: @ashleyneese

    How to Breathe

    Digital Workshops

    3 More Feel Good Effect Episodes You’ll Love

    How to go on a Decision Diet for More Mental Energy & Willpower

    Meditation for the Rest of Us, with Kait Hurley

    How to Move Beyond Burnout + Build a Life You Love, with jenny Blake

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    83 How to Declutter Everything with Allie Casazza

    Feel Good Effect PodcastPaige ReohrComment

    Are you ready to declutter everything? Today’s guest is going to help you do just that.

    Are you ready to declutter everything? Allie Casazza is going to help you do just that and make it work in real life. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #podcast #wellnesspodcast #declutter #cleanliving #gentle #gentleisthenewperfect #purposeshow #organizedhome #clean

    How to Declutter Everything with Allie Casazza

    Allie Casazza is the host of The Purpose Show and the creator of Your Uncluttered Home, an online decluttering course that earned national attention for her philosophy of simple motherhood.

    In today’s episode we’re talking all things decluttering, and how to make it work in real life.

    This episode is the third in a three part mini-series all about decluttering for a calm mind and an organized home.

    Listen now!


    Are you ready to declutter everything?

    Today’s guest is going to help you do just that.

    Allie Casazza is from Southern California; she married her junior high-school sweetheart and is a mom of four young children.

    She inspires and encourages her audience at, and is the host of The Purpose Show.

    She is also the creator of Your Uncluttered Home, an online decluttering course that earned her national attention for her philosophy of simple motherhood.

    Her business is built on minimalism and how we can all live a more purposeful life if we cut out all the unnecessary stuff to create space for enjoying the life that we’re living.

    This is the third in a three part mini-series all about decluttering; we have a great one with Gretchen Rubin and one all about decluttering your fridge and pantry so you can eat well and feel really good.

    Today’s episode is brought to you by our free guide to decluttering your fridge and pantry.

    In that guide we walk you step by step through decluttering those problem areas in the kitchen so you can eat well and feel good.

    Grab the guide here!

    Allie is the mama of four little ones, and her perspective on decluttering from a mother and wife’s point of view is so valuable.

    It’s one thing to try to simplify and declutter on your own, and it’s another if you’re trying to navigate it while living with other people.

    Even though she uses examples specific to moms, it’s still tactical if you have roommates or a partner or just live with people who are not on the same page as you when it comes to decluttering.

    She will give you some nuggets of knowledge and a great philosophy to follow.

    Allie is all about simplifying, decluttering, and getting down to the heart of what matters in order to live your life in a way that is true to yourself and true to your values.

    On Allie’s story + getting to where she is today:

    It all really started with Allie’s mom-journey.

    She kind of just got thrown into motherhood-- she was told it would be incredibly difficult and maybe not even possible for her to conceive.

    She met her husband in junior high and they got married pretty much right out of high school, not really weren’t worried about starting a family at that point in their lives.

    She struggled to find a birth control that didn't make her violently ill.

    Being allergic to latex, and unable to take pills, they were thinking if they can’t get pregnant, forget it.

    So Allie stopped everything and eight months into their marriage she found out that she was pregnant.

    She felt guilty, but she got a little depressed because they just were not ready for that.

    They were told that basically this was an anomaly, but it seemed to be working right then so if they wanted kids of their own they should have them quickly.

    Soon enough, they had four children.

    However, Allie was in this weird place feeling lucky with how the struggle of fertility, which is so many people’s story, was not her story, but that she was struggling so hard with her kids.

    She was very young, and at this point in her story they had three under three, which she assumed she was overwhelmed because of.

    Her husband worked very long hours, she was at home with the kids, and they were just kind of doing the American house that’s too big and way too expensive for what they could afford, but that’s what people do-- they get into debt, they go way overboard.

    They had these kids and just tried to make ends meet.

    She was in a very thick overwhelm and in that time she really just started to question herself: Is this motherhood? Is this it?

    She was hearing it from everyone, “Good moms have sticky floors and happy kids”, “You’re supposed to self-serve and let everything else go, just to just be there”, but it just didn’t sit right for Allie.

    She felt like this was such a huge joy and a huge blessing, but here she was hating it.

    So she began to seek out the source of the stress and the source of the depression that she kept coming in and out of.

    Everyone told her it was because she was insane and had three young kids, but she really refused to believe that their circumstances needed to define them like that and that you “just get through it”, that it is what it is.

    She ended up having a moment when she got the kids busy, went upstairs, locked herself in the bathroom, and sat on the floor in tears; she was just kind of crying out to God.

    “This is the worst. What am I missing? I believe I am here for a reason, I believe I am supposed to live well and full and abundantly and to have joy and I’m trying so hard and nothing is working. I get organized and it comes undone in a second, what am I missing?”

    She had an epiphany, and she’s never had anything else like that since.

    In a moment, she felt a surge of energy in her body and a knowing.

    She realized that all the stuff she was spending time cleaning up isn’t even stuff she needed.

    That night Allie started letting things go, and started asking herself “what is worthy of this really sweet season of my life, that is currently not so sweet because I’m burdened and I’m giving too much time to my stuff?”

    Are you ready to declutter everything? Allie Casazza is going to help you do just that and make it work in real life. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #podcast #wellnesspodcast #declutter #cleanliving #gentle #gentleisthenewperfect #purposeshow #organizedhome #clean

    As she filled trash bags with things to donate, she realized how many moments were spent dusting, picking up and putting back, the kids ripping things off the shelves and putting them back, cleaning up for guests, and reorganizing an overstuffed toy room that wasn’t even serving its purpose because the kids were overstimulated.

    Over the course of the following few months she went through the entirety of her home and immediately, even within a day, there was a difference.

    She was lighter, the kids played better, she had more time, more energy, more mental space, she became a better wife, a better mother, she was able to become a better woman and actually pursue what she wanted, aside from being a mom.

    Allie loves to write so she started her blog, which now employs like twelve families, and her husband was able to leave his job and now they work together.

    It changed her life, just by letting go of excess.

    She’s found that people are really resonating with her story right now.

    Moms are told to basically do it all, even in the curated imperfection that’s trending on social media right now, it’s still fake it’s still kind of perfectly imperfect, even in the messages of “it’s okay momma, you don’t have to do it all”, we’re still being told in a lot of other ways that yeah, we do, or we’re told the opposite, that we can’t, that it’s all downhill from here and it’s so overwhelming and “don’t worry you’ll get through it”.

    She thinks both of those messages are lies.

    And Allie’s message isn’t that you can have it all, it’s that,

    “you can have less for the sake of having more of what matters to you and creating that life that you want that’s actually joyful”.

    Are you ready to declutter everything? Allie Casazza is going to help you do just that and make it work in real life. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #podcast #wellnesspodcast #declutter #cleanliving #gentle #gentleisthenewperfect #purposeshow #organizedhome #clean

    Allie has done an amazing job of creating a step by step for people while also talking about all of the mental baggage that goes along with decluttering.

    Because it’s one thing to do a sweep of your house, put a bunch of stuff in bags, and get rid of it, but it’s another thing to maintain that loop.

    The challenges are making sure excess does not come back in and getting people in the loop of being careful about what comes in and also making sure that these leave that are weighing you down.

    Perfectionism and all or nothing syndrome.

    For those who are totally on board with this decluttering message: when it comes down to getting it done, people still run into barriers.

    You hear an episode of something like this or you read something inspiring, get really gung-ho and ready to dive in.

    But then life happens, and your toddler spills cereal all over the floor, or you have to go to work and you kind of forget, and feel like you don’t have time for this.

    The shame about that is that this is one of the only things you can really do with this level of impact that will take more time from you initially but literally add minutes to your day, and hours to your week.

    You don’t realize how much time is being taken up by your stuff until it’s gone.

    You have to see the shift from version A with all the things to version B when you got rid of things that aren’t worthy of your precious time.

    Decide: Is this something that’s resonating with you?

    Then decide what you’re going to do: Write out your schedule.

    If this is worth it to you, if this return on investment with your time is worth it to you, then how can you make this happen and fit it in?

    Maybe decide on two separate hours a week that you can do this for.

    When Allie used to lose momentum, she would do Monday mornings and Saturday mornings for an hour, and she’d finish and make progress.

    Even if it’s 15 minutes, do something.

    Don’t let yourself get trapped in that all or nothing syndrome, because it’s totally a version of perfectionism.

    These mindset blocks are validated through the research, we have these great intentions but it’s not about a lack of motivation or a lack of discipline, it’s often these mindset blocks: “if I can’t do it perfectly then I’m not going to do it”, or “if I can’t spend the entire weekend on it then I’m not going to do it”, or “my version doesn’t look exactly like Allie’s, so I must be doing it wrong”.

    A 15 minute way to get the ball rolling:

    Let’s say you’re listening to this in the morning and you’re about to go have your coffee.

    While your coffee is brewing, open up your junk drawer-- you don’t even have to finish it, just get rid of some stuff you see in there, like old rubber bands, a broken tape dispenser, things you won’t use, pens that don’t work, just do something.

    Or open up your pots and pans cupboard and go through there.

    There are always things that are big that we feel like “this was money and it equals a lot of value”, even though it’s destroyed and you never use it; it feels weird to make a decision like that.

    Just while you’re doing stuff, while your water is boiling for pasta, go through your cups, get rid of the mugs you always avoid giving people when they come over for coffee, when you’re getting ready in the morning and you’re waiting for your curling iron to heat up, go through a drawer and get rid of old makeup.

    A lot of “while I do this, I do that” type of stuff is really effective, and what’s cool about it is that you’re going to feel a difference right away.

    Allie usually says if you’re going all in, you need to start in the bathroom.

    If you’re going to do a full room, start in the bathroom first because it’s an easy yes or no area, there aren’t a lot of sentimental items kept in the bathroom.

    What will happen almost every single time, people will declutter their bathroom and it feels so good.

    You feel that difference immediately.

    There aren’t a lot of other things like that, if you’re changing your eating, it takes months for you to really see something from that.

    It’s a little discouraging, you want to feel that progress, and with decluttering, it’s immediate.

    Be encouraged by that and start somewhere.

    We might be drawn to the closet of baby clothes first or the thing that feels the biggest, but it can be so incredible to gain momentum with the stuff that doesn’t have as much personal value to begin with.

    We might be drawn to some of those things because we know they’re bothering us.

    Getting rid of little things like outfits that used to fit but don’t anymore just make you feel lighter-- you create that white space, and you remove those things that were just weighing you down; it’s so powerful.

    You have to face it a little bit, but it feels so much better, you’re not being held captive by your old jeans (or whatever it is).

    But this idea of starting in the bathroom is wonderful-- don’t make it harder than it has to be.

    And when it comes to items of emotional significance, it can be really hard to get rid of and it means more than a purge.

    After dealing with secondary infertility, for Robyn, getting rid of her daughter’s baby stuff meant the end of something.

    While it doesn’t seem like having a baby is going to happen in the future, she knows how expensive all of that stuff would be to buy again.

    She had all of the stuff in her garage and after getting rid of it she noticed that she also got rid of the constant reminder of being in the middle of not knowing what’s going to happen.

    It made some space for what she does have.

    And although she felt lighter, it didn’t mean she wasn’t sad; it just didn’t have stuff on top of it.

    It’s getting rid of that constant reminder of something very difficult that you’re going through, or have gone through, or that you’re unhappy with, whether those are jeans or baby stuff.

    And Allie works a lot with widows, and that is also so heavy.

    Whatever it is, it can be big or small but it really does weight you down and it can feel wasteful to let those things go when you may need them.

    The emotional attachment is probably 50% of the struggle, but the other 50% of it is just feeling like you’re going to need it later.

    “I’m going to shrink back down, this baby is going to happen, I’m going to need this later”.

    Even just saying that, you can feel the weight that you’re holding onto.

    It kind of makes you live life with your breath held and then you’re unable to relax and enjoy what you do have and create space for what matters to you right now.

    Even if you’re on a budget, you can always get more stuff if you need it: is it really worth the mental weight that you’re carrying around?

    But there’s another side to this: you use something, for example with your child, and you hold onto it for the future.

    But it has already served its purpose, and now it’s not, it’s actually hurting you, bothering you, making it harder for you to enjoy.

    It has served its purpose, and you let it go.

    Ask yourself: Did something already serve its purpose for me? Is it overused and I need to replace it with a new one? Did it work for me for a time but now it doesn’t?

    That’s not waste.

    You purchase things so that they can serve a purpose for you, and it did.

    It’s okay to let it go, you’re not wasting, you spent money on something and it served the purpose you purchased it for.

    Especially if you can donate it to someone else who needs it, they might be getting an amazing discount and they might really need that, how is that waste?

    Side note: if you have the time and space to think outside of the Goodwill or Salvation Army box, it is so much better and more fulfilling if you were to give those items to a women and children’s shelter or even churches.

    Think about that, you purchased it, it served its purpose, and now you’re giving it to somebody else who is actually going to be able to use it and is going to be hugely blessed by that because they may not have the resources to get.

    But if going and finding the perfect donation spot gets in the way, just get it out.

    Bringing your unwilling family on board:

    It’s one thing for us to change our own behavior and start to declutter in our own homes, but it is another thing when you constantly have children bringing things into the house, your partner bringing stuff in, and your family members aren’t on board with decluttering.

    It can feel like you’re just in an uphill battle, you have to deal with the incoming flow of stuff, and that is a big topic.

    Part of dealing with that incoming flow is related to family, like gifts from grandparents, or paperwork from school.

    One problem that Allie really has with some of the popular minimalist teachers is that there’s this rule that if you have to declutter again after the first time, you’re doing it wrong.

    First of all, you’re not doing it wrong.

    But also, kids change everything.

    Especially for all the moms listening, it is normal and okay to have a constant wave of incoming stuff.

    How can you even control that?

    The thing that we need to do is figure out a solution.

    One practical thing that Allie likes to do for paper-clutter is ask: where does that paper clutter collect in your home?

    For her, it’s a ledge by her front door and the stairs.

    Paperwork would constantly collect there, mail, schoolwork, stuff just collects.

    Wherever clutter collects, that is a place to put storage.

    She noticed that everyone was throwing their stuff there, their shoes, backpacks, and toys because they didn’t want to carry it all the way upstairs.

    So she put a cute, rectangle basket with a lid at the bottom of the stairs and they clean it out every night as part of their evening pick-up routine.

    And then for paper and mail, she put a cute little wooden tier from Target with a slot for mail, a slot for school papers, and then a slot for anything outgoing.

    In the minimalist world, it feels like storage is a no-no, but that’s kind of ridiculous for moms; we have stuff to store and we need to make it work.

    So notice where you’re feeling that incoming stuff that really puts clutter-pressure on you, even if it’s stuff that you already own that’s coming out to your car and then back in again and gets put down somewhere.

    Find out where that pressure is and put storage there that works for you.

    We don’t want to enable junk, though, and start to go back to our old ways of organizing things we needed to let go of.

    But the fact is, life is life and there’s stuff that comes in and you still need to be happy to come home.

    Even if you’re busy and you come home to a bunch of people and papers, it can still feel neat and make you happy to be there instead of super overwhelmed.

    And then circling back to the other side of incoming things, talking to your family and dealing with that side of incoming flow:

    People tend to, again, get into the all or nothing syndrome and they’ll tell Allie that their husband isn’t on board or that their kids are really pushing back.

    How are you communicating what decluttering looks like?

    You’re probably telling your kids “we need to get rid of these toys, this is ridiculous”, and they come at it almost like it’s an undeserved punishment.

    And a husband is probably like, “whoa, we paid money for this why are you getting rid of everything”, and it’s just a miscommunication.

    Allie always tells people that it’s okay, because you don’t need your husband to be on board for you to clean some of your own things and make the house flow better.

    “You don’t need everyone on board for you to simplify”.

    Do what you can, practice what you preach, lead by example, and let everyone come around.

    Especially for little ones.

    Around ages 4-6 kids go through this regular development where inanimate objects come to life and become really special for them; it’s hard to let go.

    It’s important to take a deep breath and step back.

    Realize that there are so many other areas that you can work on that are going to give you a lot of your time and mental space back.

    Those other parts and other people, if you’re living this way, they will come around and catch on eventually.

    They just don’t really understand what you mean and it can seem really alarming and overwhelming to say, “let’s change everything we’ve been doing so far and go the opposite way and get rid of stuff”.

    It can just feel alarming.

    Building in a rhythm:

    Truthfully, Allie just has it on her checklist to just go through the mail and papers everyday, but that never happens.

    She knows that for her household, it’s really important to have set times to do things, otherwise it just gets jumbled.

    She has one day a week that is set aside for home love, when she goes through the mail, pays the bills, sends back whatever she needs to send back, and goes through the kids’ schoolwork-- a home/personal-life day when there’s no work and she can go through those things.

    And she has it on her calendar, even though it’s every week.

    Doing things like that, for Allie and her lifestyle, that’s what she needed to do.

    When she was a stay at home mom without her business, she didn’t really need to have that set in.

    It was just different, and now it needs scheduling.

    Ask yourself: What do I need? What is my lifestyle? What kinds of rhythms do I need?

    Taking the next step:

    It’s one thing to listen to a podcast, it’s another to take action.

    On her website, Allie always makes the landing page the best, newest step-one.

    There’s a webinar (an online video class), which is really the best place to start.

    In it, Allie walks listeners through the three main areas of your home that are the most cluttered.

    Whether you’re single or you have seven kids, these are the three main areas of your home that are overstuffed and taking up most of your time.

    If you’re not a webinar person, Allie has other resources available like her Clean the Clutter Starter Kit, which helps you get started and walks you through the same steps.

    On what’s next for Allie:

    Allie just put the finishing touch on her book proposal, so now that it’s done she can focus on her messaging.

    She also runs the Declutter Like a Mother challenge every year, and they’re currently working with a production company to turn that idea into a television series.

    How Allie feels about the Marie Kondo series:

    Allie loves what Marie Kondo does and what she’s trying to do, because anyone spreading the message of simpler, even the ones that are a little legalistic and kind of out of touch with women and mothers who are struggling, she thinks anybody spreading that message is doing a great job.

    It’s a little different for Allie though, you’ll never find her ranking everything before she lets it go.

    She more feels in her gut whether it’s worth her time.

    And Allie says she’s trying to create a life that allows her to roll with the punches and have a crazy, full life, not really thinking about lining up her produce and cleaning out her purse every day.

    There are so many ways to approach simplification right now, so people have options.

    To hear more from Allie, connect with her on Instagram @allie_thatsme and stay tuned for her vlog-style insta-stories.

    On what it really means to be healthy:

    “I think it means when you wake up in the morning that you feel good and excited… am I living healthfully, and that’s physically, spiritually, emotionally, how’s my mental health”.

    Are you ready to declutter everything? Allie Casazza is going to help you do just that and make it work in real life. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #podcast #wellnesspodcast #declutter #cleanliving #gentle #gentleisthenewperfect #purposeshow #organizedhome #clean

    Guest Bio

    Allie Casazza is from Southern California, married her junior high sweetheart, and is a mom to 4 young children. She inspires and encourages her audience at, is the host of The Purpose Show and is the creator of Your Uncluttered Home - an online decluttering course that earned her national attention for her philosophy of simple motherhood. Her business is built on minimalism and how we can all live a more purposeful life if we cut out all of the stuff to create space for enjoying the life we’re living! She has been featured on The Today Show, Good Morning America, The Huffington Post and even ABC News. Everyone has really taken to her realistic, doable mom-friendly, philosophy of minimalism and simplified living!


    The Purpose Show

    Your Uncluttered Home

    Inner Order, Outer Calm & Decluttering, with Gretchen Rubin

    The Secret to Decluttering Your Fridge & Pantry

    3 Steps to an Uncluttered Home

    Clear the Clutter Starter Kit

    Declutter Like a Mother challenge

    Connect with Allie on Instagram @allie_thatsme

    3 More Feel Good Effect Episodes You’ll Love

    How to Overcome the Hustle When You're Feeling Stretched Too Thin, with Jessica Turner

    How to Find a Middle Ground Between Self-Acceptance and Self-Improvement

    Be More Productive in 15-Minutes a Day

    Show the Feel Good Effect Love

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    82 The Secret to Decluttering Your Fridge & Pantry

    Feel Good Effect PodcastPaige ReohrComment

    This episode of the Feel Good Effect podcast will walk you through the step-by-step of decluttering your fridge and pantry you you can live well, feel really good, and find the healthy life that you want to live.

    Declutter your pantry and fridge for streamlined meal planning and easy, healthy, real food cooking. An episode of the Feel Good Effect podcast. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #podcast #wellnesspodcast #declutter #minimalism #mealprep #mealplanning #wellness #gentle #gentleisthenewperfect #cleanliving #organize

    How To Declutter the Fridge & Pantry

    We’re walking through the secret to decluttering your fridge and pantry, no matter how small or how big. In this episode, I’ll give you the exact steps you need to streamline meal prep, meal planning, and cooking real food.

    Listen now!

    Download the Free Guide!

    Download Your Free Guide!

    Grab the free guide and declutter with ease.

      no spam, just love headed your way


      Today I’m going to give you the secret to decluttering your fridge and pantry, no matter how small or how big, and the exact steps for you to do it.

      Right now, we’re in the middle of a three-part mini-series on decluttering.

      Last week we had Gretchen Rubin on the show talking about her new book, how to declutter practically, and how to walk through the process with other people in your lives.

      Today, I want to get really specific and talk about decluttering when it comes to your kitchen, and even more specifically, your fridge and pantry.

      I know, I know, decluttering and minimalism are all the rage right now and everybody is Kondo-ing their closet.

      But this show isn’t about decluttering or organizing for the sake of decluttering or organizing.

      This is about living well, feeling really good, and finding the healthy life that you want to live.

      Part of that is eating well, and part of eating well is having a system that works for you in your life.

      What I find when I work with people on changing their lives and shifting toward gentle-wellness, doing the things that make them feel good, eating real food, and feeding their bodies, there are a lot of barriers that come up.

      So it’s not just about knowing what to eat, it’s knowing how to grocery shop, and when you get home knowing what to do with the food.

      And in all of my work, I find over and over that the fridge and pantry are major pain-points.

      Be honest and think about it: are your fridge and pantry crammed full of random items, half-used, some expired, shoved in the back, and just overall a chaotic mess?

      If you’re answer is yes, it’s so common and it’s nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about.

      We’re busy, we get home, we have groceries, we throw them in, and we move on.

      But today, I want to share the secret to decluttering and the step by step to create a better process for yourself so that you have more ease when it comes to real food.

      So that preparing meals or cooking at home becomes simple, even effortless, and when you open the fridge or the panty you feel a sense of calm and a sense of purpose, you know what you’re going to do, you know what you’re going to grab, and the whole thing becomes easier.

      I’m not here to tell you to declutter because I think you should have a perfect pantry for Pinterest; this is really about having a system that works so that you can find health in your daily life and make it simple.

      And to make it even easier, I made a free guide for you all.

      It’s one of the many free resources that I provide for you, because I want you to do this, I want you to take action, I want you to make it work in your life.

      The guide is designed to go along with this podcast, step by step so that you can listen and then make it happen.

      Don’t worry if it’s not “instagram-worthy” or that everything isn’t in perfectly matching glass containers.

      This is less about how it looks, and more about that you’ve done it and have a process and system that works for you.

      I have this process broken into three simple steps.

      Before we walk through each one, I just want to remind you that it doesn’t matter if you have a giant walk-in pantry or just one little shelf of one cabinet; we’re all working with a different set of circumstances and different kinds of spaces.

      I don’t want you to think that if you don’t have a giant pantry or a giant fridge that you can’t go through this same process, in fact, I think the smaller the space the more important it is to declutter and maximize what you actually have.

      Step 1 | Know your why.

      I know you’re probably super pumped and Kondo-ing your way to the perfectly tidy and organized pantry, but let’s just press pause for a second.

      Before we dive into all the decluttering, it’s really important to be clear on why you’re actually doing this in the first place.

      Starting with your why makes a big difference and will help you keep it up in the long-term.

      If you’re familiar with Simon Sinek’s work, his first book, Start With Why, or his popular TED talk, this may be ringing a bell.

      The concept is that if you start anything by really reflecting on the reasons why you’re doing it, you’re more likely to actually take action and to stick with it long term.

      And you know we’re all about consistency and sustainability around here, because I don’t want you to spend a bunch of time and effort getting your kitchen cleared out and cleaned up just to fall back and find it’s a big old mess again in a few weeks down the road.

      I’m guessing your why behind decluttering is not just to have a pantry that looks perfect or to organize for the sake of organizing.

      I’m guessing your why has something more to do with helping you streamline the daily process of eating well, of meal planning or meal prepping (if those are things you do), and even if you do none of those things, just to clearly see what you have so it’s easier to pull together healthy, real food effortlessly.

      Or maybe your why has something to do with simplifying grocery shopping, so you’re not wasting so much time wandering around the store, or buying things and throwing them away after they go bad because you didn’t know what to do with them or because they were buried under everything else and you couldn’t see them.

      Maybe your why has to do with making fewer decisions on a daily basis and therefore have more time and energy for the things in your life that really matter.

      That’s some inspiration if you’re feeling a little stuck coming up with your why; I gave you some prompts in that free guide, too, which you can grab here.

      But don’t overthink it, this doesn’t have to be the end-all be-all, it’s just a place to ground down and center yourself on why you’re going to take the time and effort, because you may find halfway through, in the midst of the mess that comes before the streamline, you get overwhelmed, and that’s the point when you come back to the why. Why am I doing this? Why am I spending time on this? Why does this even matter to me?

      I even have some really specific prompts to help you out in that guide.

      Step 2 | Fresh start.

      So you’re crystal clear on why you’re even doing this in the first place, now it’s time to take action-- let’s make it happen.

      The first action step in decluttering is to take everything out.

      Yup, everything.

      Don’t overthink it, just take it out, put it on the counter or the floor.

      A quick note as you get started with this clear out phase, don’t let perfection, comparison, or all or nothing thinking be the enemy of action.

      Declutter your pantry and fridge for streamlined meal planning and easy, healthy, real food cooking. An episode of the Feel Good Effect podcast. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #podcast #wellnesspodcast #declutter #minimalism #mealprep #mealplanning #wellness #gentle #gentleisthenewperfect #cleanliving #organize

      I get it though, it’s so easy to get sucked into the all or nothing, perfectionism, comparison trap in this first step, I actually think it’s the number one thing that keeps us from moving forward in all things.

      It’s normal and I totally get it, but I encourage you to resist the urge.

      Take this step at your own pace and in your on way, just don’t put it off all together.

      And if taking everything out all at once seems overwhelming, try breaking it down.

      The incremental approach can totally work here, and there’s no one right or wrong way.

      If you find you want the do it all at once approach but then you're putting it off because that becomes very overwhelming, or you do part of it but then you lose steam and you’re unable to finish it, then take a step back and think about making it a little more incremental, a little more step by step.

      If you want to go big you can try setting aside an afternoon and tackle the whole thing: fridge, freezer, pantry, bang it out, get it done.

      Or you can take that incremental approach and try one area at a time.

      First the pantry, then the fridge, the the freezer.

      And if you prefer even smaller steps, which I think is a great approach, just do one area at a time: one shelve, one drawer, one bin.

      I get that it’s not as satisfying as the big before and after reveal, but if it means that you did it, it is the right approach for you.

      There’s no one right way when it comes to this clear out step, there’s just the way that works for you, which p.s., is the way you’ll actually do it.

      If you find yourself getting overwhelmed or putting it off, back up and start with a smaller step.

      Decide what to keep and what to let go: the rule of five.

      This step is so important because, remember, we’re not just looking to organize here, we’re looking to actually declutter, which means letting some things go.

      This is the ideal time to take stock of your fridge and pantry staples, and to get rid of anything that’s not serving you and your health goals.

      I know, if you’ve read Marie Kondo’s book or seen her Netflix series, this is the step where she asks you to hold everything in your hand and ask if it sparks joy.

      I’m going to go a different route.

      If you want to have a joy conversation with your food, I do think that’s a great idea, but I also have some more pragmatic suggestions for you in terms of really making some decisions about the items that you keep on hand and whether they might really be working for you in terms of health.

      In terms of deciding what to keep and what to let go, I like to give the rule of five.

      The rule of five is a simple decision rule to help you decide what stays and what goes, here’s how:

      Take every pre packaged item and do a quick scan of the ingredient list.

      Depending on who you are and what you have, you might have a lot of things in packages with ingredient lists, or you might only have a few, either way is fine.

      You’ll just scan the ingredient list, next to the nutrition information where there is a list of every single item that is included in that food or package.

      Anything with more than five ingredients or with unpronounceable ingredients can go.

      Toss it, donate it, whatever works for you.

      The main thing is to get rid of pantry and fridge staples that are super processed or filled with less-than healthy ingredients.

      But again, we’re not looking for perfection here, just awareness.

      If you’re not ready to toss that processed salad dressing or frozen pizza, go ahead and keep it, but consider replacing it with an upgraded option next time you’re at the store.

      I also think that for some people, there are just some staples that they’re not ready to let go of that make their life easier from a convenience perspective, or something that they really like to have on hand.

      You don’t have to throw everything away and have nothing left, but it is a great time to take stock of how much of the total percentage of the food in your pantry and fridge are super processed or not real food.

      And this might be eye-opening, you might find that there’s a lot in there that’s make with synthetic chemicals, that’s not real fool, that’s probably not going to serve your body, and maybe this is an opportunity to let go.

      Start small and build, allowing wiggle room for your own tastes and preferences.

      And you definitely don’t have to get overly rigid about the rule of five, maybe you have some bread that you love with seven ingredients, this is your call, it’s not about everything making the rule every single time.

      There are definitely things in my fridge and pantry that don’t make the rule of five, I have a gluten-free bread that I love that doesn’t meet this criteria.

      But for the most part, this is how I decide what to keep and what to bring back in.

      And obviously toss anything that’s expired or bad.

      And honestly, if you can to this point and you want to stop, I think you’re golden.

      You found your why, you did a clear out, you decided what to keep and what to let go, and if that’s good for you that is totally fine, because you’ve already done a lot of work.

      But if you do want to level up, I’m going to give you some more things that you can do to really streamline.

      Clearly see what you have.

      As you’re thinking about putting things back, it’s really helpful to be able to see clearly, I’m talking about putting loose items like cereals, grains, nuts, and seeds in clear containers.

      And yes, putting items in clear glass containers does look pretty, but the point is to be able to see what you have so you can make better decisions about what you need.

      If you don’t have perfect containers at the moment, don’t let that stop you from using what you do have on hand.

      Glass mason jars are one of my favorite ways to organize a pantry, fridge, and freezer-- they’re easy to find, reusable, and inexpensive.

      I like to use glass jars and baskets to keep items together; totally not necessary though, so if that’s not in your budget do not let that stop you.

      Look around and see what you have and once you have a set of designated containers, transfer loose snacks, cereals, nuts, and grains to them.

      Now you’ll be able to easily see what you have and what you need, which will streamline grocery shopping and meal prep.

      As a bonus, storing food in tightly sealed jars keeps it fresher longer, which is also a great way to reduce food waste.

      But I think you have to think practically, if there’s something that your family just blows through really quickly, it might not be worth transferring to a different container.

      This doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

      We definitely have some things we just keep in the bag because we know we’re going to get through it really fast, but there are plenty of other items that I will take a moment to just put into a jar or container and that way it’s fresher longer, I can see it, and it stays a lot tidier in there overall.

      Step 3 | Only the essentials.

      The final step in this whole decluttering process is to put everything back in a simplified, systematic way.

      So first, we’re going to think about putting things back by type; the idea is to gather ingredients, food items, anything that’s in a jar or container in the fridge and pantry kind by type.

      For example, put proteins together in the freezer and put the grains all together in the pantry, snacks and cereals can go together on another shelf, and baking items can be grouped in their own area as well.

      No need to overthink this part, just do the best you can putting items together in a way that makes sense to you.

      I think you’ll find that having items together makes meal prep and planning so much easier, plus it gives you a better sense of what you have and what you need.

      In my kitchen, I have all of our frozen proteins all in one spot so when I go to the grocery store, I can take a quick look and see what we’re low on.

      Same thing when I look in the pantry at grains and bases, like pasta, rice, quinoa, I can see whether we are running low on anything.

      An extra bonus here: when things go on sale you can stock up if you know that you’re low, that way I keep that supply replenished and I save money, which is always a bonus.

      Do an audit.

      Okay, everything is back in place, you’re in the home stretch.

      This is gold-star territory, some advanced steps so you may not want to take this on right now, or maybe it does sound like something you want to add to your overall system.

      Because now it’s time to do an audit of your fridge, pantry, and freezer.

      The purpose of the audit is simple, to create a list of grocery items necessary to fill in any gaps.

      Because you’ve already organized, it should be pretty easy to see what’s missing and what needs to be replaced.

      When you declutter, sometimes you’ll find that you’re actually missing some things that you really do need or that would make cooking and meal prep much easier.

      So check the pantry and fridge, create the list, and then work on adding these items back over the coming weeks.

      This doesn’t have to happen all at once, just a few items at a time will get you where you want to go.

      As a extra tip, stock up on essentials, such as shelf staple items and protein when they go on sale, and freeze what you can’t use in a few days in individual serving sizes.

      The magic list.

      Okay you amazing human, you’ve made it to the last step.

      The magic list is the last step in decluttering your fridge and pantry and will help you maintain the work that you’ve done to declutter, plus drastically cut down on the amount of time you spend figuring out what you need to buy at the grocery store.

      Here’s how it works: using a piece of paper or the notes function on your phone (I’m a pen and paper girl at heart, but in this case I prefer a phone because then I always have it with me), write out a list of the fridge and pantry staples, these are the items you use often and you want to make sure you have on hand all the time.

      And this list is going to look different depending on what kind of diet you follow, as well as the individual taste preferences of yourself and the people you live with.

      We are a mostly dairy-free and gluten-free household; it’s going to be different from person to person.

      And that’s the cool thing, you get to individualize this based on what you know works for you.

      My magic list allows me to not have that moment when I come home from the store and realize that I forgot a bunch of really essential items.

      I actually organize my magic list by the essential six.

      Basically, the essential proteins that I want to have on hand, the essential grains and bases, sauces, veggies, and this list helps me be focused when I’m grocery shopping, making sure I don’t miss anything or impulse buy random ingredients that I probably won’t use all of.

      It just reminds me about what my essentials are and helps me prioritize those things.

      Again, these are the items you use often and keep on hand all the time.

      And then each week as you make your grocery list, or even on the fly as you’re wandering around the store, you can take a look at that magic list to see what you might need to grab or stock up on.

      It’s also a great thing to keep in mind when you find sale items at the store, if it matches your list that’s a great time to stock up.

      There you go, you did it!

      Good job for doing the work and taking the time to work these steps.

      I truly hope that once you have that decluttered fridge and pantry, you’ll find meal prep, meal planning, and cooking really healthy food easy, simple, and streamlined, and that it makes your life a little bit easier.

      Grab the free guide here!

      By downloading it, make a commitment to yourself to actually walk through these steps.

      It could be tomorrow, it could be next week, but put a time limit on it for yourself.

      We know from the research that if you keep it open-ended and don’t give yourself a deadline, it won’t happen.

      You know your schedule and when this will work for you.

      Pick a time, make it happen.

      Share your results with me on Instagram or on the Real Food Whole Life Community page on Facebook.

      Declutter your pantry and fridge for streamlined meal planning and easy, healthy, real food cooking. An episode of the Feel Good Effect podcast. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #podcast #wellnesspodcast #declutter #minimalism #mealprep #mealplanning #wellness #gentle #gentleisthenewperfect #cleanliving #organize


      Inner Order, Outer Calm and Decluttering, with Gretchen Rubin

      Simplified Guide to Decluttering Your Pantry & Fridge in 3 Simple Steps

      Free Guide: Declutter Your Pantry & Fridge

      Start With Why, by Simon Sinek

      How Great Leaders Inspire Action, Simon Sinek TED Talk

      Wide 8-oz mason jars

      More on the essential six, from The Simplified Guide to Meal Prep & Planning

      3 More Feel Good Effect Episodes You’ll Love

      The 5 Biggest Wellness Mistakes You’re Making (and how to fix them)

      No Fail Meal Planning Tips (for people who hate meal planning)

      How to Stop Overthinking Meals


      1. Share it via FacebookInstagramPinterest, or Twitter

      2. Leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts. Your ratings and reviews help more people find the show!

      3. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts.

      This post contains affiliate links.

      81 Inner Order, Outer Calm & Decluttering with Gretchen Rubin

      Feel Good Effect PodcastPaige ReohrComment

      We’re talking decluttering to find outer order and inner calm with the master, Gretchen Rubin.

      We’re talking decluttering to find outer order and inner calm with the master, Gretchen Rubin. An episode from the Feel Good Effect podcast on how to make decluttering work for you. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #podcast #wellnesspodcast #declutter #minimalism #gentleisthenewperfect #innerorderoutercalm #gretchenrubin #fourtendencies

      Inner Order, Outer Calm & Decluttering with Gretchen Rubin

      Known for her ability to distill and convey complex ideas with humor and clarity, Gretchen Rubin breaks down how to better understand yourself and make change in the context of decluttering and simplifying.

      This is the first episode in a three part mini series to help you simplify decluttering in real life, take it off of your to-do list, and help you take action.

      Listen now!


      Today’s episode is all about how to find outer order and inner calm.

      We’re talking decluttering with the master, Gretchen Rubin.

      Gretchen is one of today’s most influential thought provokers and observers of happiness and human nature.

      She’s known for her ability to distill and convey complex ideas with humor and clarity in a way that’s accessible to a wide audience.

      Basically, she’s no nonsense, knows what she’s talking about, does a ton of research, really digs into the concept and then is able to explain it in a way that helps you better understand yourself and ways to really make change.

      Today we are talking about how she does that in relation to decluttering and simplifying.

      She's the author of many books including the New York Times best sellers, The Four Tendencies, Better Than Before, and The Happiness Project.

      She also has a top-ranked, award-winning podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin, where she discusses happiness and good habits with her sister, Elizabeth.

      This is Gretchen’s second time on the Feel Good Effect, we are so excited to welcome her back!

      Last time, we talked a lot about her study of happiness, understanding how happiness shows up, how we can have more of it, and also her book, The Four Tendencies, including a quiz that you can take to better understand your own tendency and how to leverage that to make habit change easier.

      I encourage you to go back and listen, take the quiz, figure out your tendency, and then dive into this conversation on outer order, inner calm with Gretchen Rubin.

      This conversation is actually the first episode in a three part mini series all about decluttering.

      Who better to kick it off than the queen, Gretchen Rubin?

      This mini series has a unified theme to help you simplify decluttering in real life, take it off of your to-do list, and help you take action.

      On how she went from the Four Tendencies to her newest book, Outer Order, Inner Calm:

      Gretchen started working on this book while she was working on the Four Tendencies, it was kind of like her “hookey book” when she needed to take a break.

      Like many people, Gretchen finds it incredibly energizing to clear away things that she doesn’t need, doesn’t use, or doesn’t love, and she was always interested in why that is, why the joy seems disproportionate.

      She felt like the buzz she got from cleaning her coat closet was bigger than it ought to be.

      She also had always been enchanted by a book called, Food Rules, by Michael Pollan, which is a little book about how to eat healthfully well.

      She always thought it would be fun to write a book like that, loving that you just get in, get out, and get all psyched up; it communicated the ideas in a very clear and concise way.

      But of course, when she started adapting it to her own ideas it changed a lot.

      So while Gretchen’s book didn’t turn out totally like Food Rules, it challenged her to still tackle it in a way that was very streamlined and clear.

      It’s meant to be a book you can flip through and suck it in without a lot of time or energy, which is pretty consistent with the whole message of decluttering.

      On why outer order really matters:

      There are so many aspects to outer order.

      Part of it is the convenience factor, it’s easier to find things, it’s easier to put things away, and it’s easier to clean when we achieve outer order.

      But another part of it is more complex and emotional.

      A lot of times when people are clearing clutter, they’re trying to let go of things that maybe make them feel guilty or fill them with regret.

      In that context there’s guilt coming from all sorts of place:

      • The fantasy self: I got this because I really wanted to learn how to play the guitar but I still don’t.

      • The previous self: I used to fit into this, but now I don’t.

      • Spending too much money on something.

      • An emotional attachment: how could let this go?

      There’s a lot going on when you’re clearing clutter, it’s not just sorting through whether or not you need like five hammers.

      There are things that are harder to make judgments on.

      So, Gretchen tries to have a lot of fun questions to ask that make it easier to recognize when it’s time to let something go.

      “The deep irony is that many people, in search of clearing clutter, they run to a store in search for more stuff”.

      One thing to do: always start by getting rid of things.

      Whether you’re throwing them away, recycling, or donating, get rid of everything that you don’t want, because maybe you don’t have to organize it.

      Starting by elimination is the best thing.

      On finding the way that works for you:

      Gretchen really emphasizes finding the way that works for you, which is part of what makes her work so powerful.

      We’re talking decluttering to find outer order and inner calm with the master, Gretchen Rubin. An episode from the Feel Good Effect podcast on how to make decluttering work for you. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #podcast #wellnesspodcast #declutter #minimalism #gentleisthenewperfect #innerorderoutercalm #gretchenrubin #fourtendencies

      “Face clutter in a way that’s right for you”.

      But is this something everyone should do?

      According to Gretchen, not necessarily.

      For example, her sister is what she calls “clutter-blind”, someone who just doesn’t see it and just don’t care.

      At some point, there needs to be a level of order so you can go about your day and find what you need to find, but clutter doesn’t need to be cleared for the sake of it.

      There’s no reason to make your bed other than it makes you happier, or more in control, or you enjoy your room more.

      And some people are abundance lovers, they love collections, they love things going on, they love creative juxtaposition.

      But even for abundance lovers, Gretchen believes will still feel better after getting rid of things they don’t need, don’t use, don’t love.

      In the end, do it if it’s right for you.

      It’s this tension between self-acceptance and self-improvement; accept yourself and expect more from yourself.

      But if clutter isn’t bothering you and it’s not getting in your way, that’s okay.

      Because sometimes we go through seasons of stuff, too, things that we need or want now but don’t need later.

      Having children creates seasons, even older children are messy in their own way, but seasons pass.

      There is also this idea that even people who don’t mind clutter should mind it, like there’s an unspoken social norm; then you hear from people who don’t mind the clutter, “I don’t care, but I care that you care”.

      But this is interesting because it’s about preferences, “what I prefer is right, and what you prefer is wrong”.

      Maybe for some people, a cluttered desk means a cluttered mind, but if you are making people adopt your habits, you may be interfering with what may work best for them.

      For some people, clutter really does have a purpose.

      As a writer, one of the things Gretchen does is take a bunch of notes and compile them into a document without particular order.

      And what she’s found is that sometimes she gets ideas from unexpected juxtapositions.

      And some people might use documents that way, there might be ten piles but they know exactly where things are.

      So if that works, then why use a filing cabinet?

      On navigating wanting structure but needing to self-discover:

      We’re talking decluttering to find outer order and inner calm with the master, Gretchen Rubin. An episode from the Feel Good Effect podcast on how to make decluttering work for you. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #podcast #wellnesspodcast #declutter #minimalism #gentleisthenewperfect #innerorderoutercalm #gretchenrubin #fourtendencies

      “It’s a fact about human nature, when getting advice, we love to receive a precise, standard template for success. And when giving advice, we love to insist that the strategy that works for us will surely work for others, but each of us must find our own way”

      People love Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, and the thing is, that she has one right way: you do things in a certain order, and you take out everything and put it in a pile.

      Some people find that exciting, that she’s giving you one right way to fold, one right approach.

      But still, Gretchen hasn’t met very many person who have truly followed her system; people naturally pick and choose based on what works for them.

      There’s no need to beat yourself up for not following the full method, not everyone has the time or energy to spend a weekend purging.

      But you could do just one shelf today, and tomorrow another.

      “It’s amazing. If you do a little bit of work consistently, what you can do over the course of a couple months is astounding”.

      People often underestimate what they can do in the long run, and they often overestimate what they can do in the short run.

      A really good question to ask yourself to help know if something is going to work for you: when have I succeeded in the past?

      One thing that Marie Kondo says, that Gretchen does think is true and is in part why her system is effective, is that if you’re going through ten or so items in your closet at a time, it’s very easy to fall into the trap of making an argument for every item.

      You really do have to say to yourself, “do I really use it, need it, or love it?

      You have to ask yourself the hard questions.

      On carefully curating:

      Have things because you actually want it, or use it, or need it, or love it; don’t have things that are just hanging around by default.

      One place this comes up is with mementos.

      If you have a lot of something that takes up a lot of space, maybe you can keep one little component of it, one figure from your children’s Fisher Price collection.

      And that one piece can stand for all of the other pieces, and you can even photograph it all before decluttering so you won’t forget what the pieces were.

      We don’t need all the things, we just need to remember all the things.

      And when you carefully curate things, they are infused with more meaning, because there’s one thing that is standing in for everything.

      It’s a mindset shift; it’s not about organizing for organizing sake, it’s about curating the things that mean something to you to make space for what you need in life.

      On power hour:

      Part of power hour is all the stuff that needs to get done to create outer order.

      And part of it is the clutter in your mind, the things that need to get done that just don’t get done, things that can be done at any time but also at no time.

      Power hour is a way to pull all those tasks together.

      Just write down anything that you think you would want to do (“adulting things”), and then for just an hour on the weekend try to go through as many of those as you can.

      And the thing that’s crazy, is that you kind of underestimate what you can get done if you just do things consistently.

      If you do keep a list and then every week you do power hour, you start getting a lot done, because in the end, the stewing is worse than the doing.

      Power hour is a way to make time for the tasks that just seem to linger.

      Some couples like to divide and conquer with power hours, which is a great way to run a house.

      It’s not about assigning a task, it’s just about a task that needs to get done, and dedicating some time to do it in an efficient way.

      And when you do it, you’ll feel amazing!

      It’s the same way Robyn talks about exercise: if you don’t want to do it now, just focus on the afterglow.

      On the 10-minute closer:

      Gretchen also has another strategy, her 10-minute closer.

      10-minute closer is a transition; it doesn’t matter what the transition is, it’s just a way to mark it.

      Before you’re going to move to the next part of your day, take 10-minutes and just get everything organized.

      This is one of those things that might sound too simple, but try it.

      It’s so much nicer to come back to your desk when you’ve already taken the time to put everything away.

      We’re so focused on helping children with transitions, we give them warnings and we sing songs, because we know they need to prepare themselves.

      But adults need that too.

      The 10-minute closer is a way to shut down one area, which helps you move to the next, and when you return, it’s ready for you.

      It can help with healthy eating too; research is supporting that it’s healthier for our bodies to go through a period of not eating.

      For example, you might want to have dinner and then not eat again until breakfast, which allows your body to shift into another mode.

      Snacking doesn’t allow for that shift.

      So, if you’re trying to eat healthier, this idea of transitioning into “closing the kitchen” can help encourage healthy eating.

      Robyn likes to take this idea of a 10-minute closer and use it to get ready for the next day by making lunches, packing a gym bag, having her daughter pick out her outfit, all the things that seem to cause a lot of drama in the mornings.

      She likes to set aside 10-minutes the night before to take care of and set up for success the following morning.

      And it doesn’t always go that way, but it makes a difference.

      The morning is especially important because it sets the stage for the rest of the day.

      If you start off always feeling 10-minutes behind, it’s not a great way to start off.

      Doing things the night before is a really great practice.

      On how to work within a household of different preferences for clutter:

      This is really hard, and it comes up all the time in houses, with roommates, and in offices.

      One thing that Gretchen suggests, is to really get in control of your own clutter.

      And here’s the thing that really happens, often when one person clears their clutter, other people want that.

      Not necessarily the clutter-blind, but most people do find that desirable.

      Even in cases when there’s “a neat one”, the neat one may tend to move stuff around on the surface but may not be getting rid of deep clutter.

      If you are a neat one who maybe lives with someone a little less bothered by clutter (and maybe a Rebel type from the Four Tendencies), getting control over your own clutter just may make a huge difference.

      Tip: it can help if things have a specific place that they go, rather than just on an open shelf.

      If you’re a neat one, it’s important to know that not everyone is good at this, and you can help facilitate it by creating systems and getting rid of stuff that’s in the way.

      A reminder for those of you who know about the Four Tendencies: you do not tell a Rebel, “you have to do this”, that only makes them want to resist.

      What you can do, is remind them why they want it or why it’s important to you.

      Lead by example and focus on the things that you can control, first.

      For Obligers who feel stuck in decluttering:

      For Obligers who just feel stuck in this process or who are overwhelmed with getting started, there are some specific strategies to help facilitate decluttering.

      • Have people over and that will get you to clear your clutter, and you can really embrace it and go for a deep declutter.

      • Hire a professional organizer.

      • Have a friend who can hold you accountable to taking time to clear clutter.

      • Hold yourself accountable to a future self, and make it a goal to try and deal with the clutter by the end of the year.

      • Think about how it might benefit other people in your household to create an environment where they can thrive.

      • Another idea, is to say, “I need to do this for myself if I’m going to be there for other people”.

      There are a lot of ways to build outer accountability, but that’s exactly what Obligers need.

      On where to start in this process:

      There are just dozens and dozens of these little gems in Gretchen’s book.

      But Gretchen’s number one tip for getting this process started: don’t get organized.

      Don’t run out a buy a bunch of containers, just start by asking yourself, “Do I need it? Do I use it? Do I love it?”.

      Sometimes we use things that we don’t really love, sometimes we love things that we don’t really use.

      And even in this decluttering process, Gretchen believes that there is still room in our lives for the things that we just love, even if they aren’t serving any practical purpose.

      But if you don’t need it, use it, or love it, that’s when you can release it.

      And when we get down to the things that we really want, it doesn’t need to be organized.

      “You don’t have to get too complicated when you’re down to what you actually use”.

      On what Gretchen’s excited for now:

      For Gretchen, outer order is just delicious; she loves hearing about people’s relationships with their possessions.

      She’s excited to have her book out there into the world and talk about it.

      Additionally, Gretchen and her sister are planning to do a series of live shows on their podcast, The Happier Podcast.

      They’re excited to take this on the road and meet people face to face.

      Where you can connect with Gretchen:

      You can grab Gretchen’s newest book, Outer Order, Inner Calm: Declutter and Organize to Make Room for More Happiness, here!

      You can check out The Happier Podcast, hosted Gretchen and her sister Elizabeth for more on happiness and good habits.

      Gretchen’s website is a great resource.

      She posts observations on happiness and good habits for human nature, information about all her books which all have tons of resources attached to them, like one-pagers, nutshell guides, and discussion guides.

      You can take the Four Tendency quiz here.

      2 million people have taken this free quiz now and it will tell you if you’re an Upholder, a Questioner, an Obliger, or a Rebel and what that means for you.

      She’s also on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter @gretchenrubin.

      On what it means to be healthy:

      “For me, being healthy means having energy, being pain free, and having a body that will do the things that I want it to do… eating healthy, getting my sleep, being pain free, being strong”.

      We’re talking decluttering to find outer order and inner calm with the master, Gretchen Rubin. An episode from the Feel Good Effect podcast on how to make decluttering work for you. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #podcast #wellnesspodcast #declutter #minimalism #gentleisthenewperfect #innerorderoutercalm #gretchenrubin #fourtendencies

      Guest Bio

      Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the block- buster New York Times bestsellers, Better Than Before, The Happiness Project and Happier at Home. She has an enormous readership, both in print and online, and her books have sold more than three million copies worldwide, in more than thirty languages. She makes frequent TV appearances and is in much demand as a speaker. On her weekly podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin, she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft. Rubin started her career in law and was clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor when she realized she wanted to be a writer. She lives in New York City with her husband and two daughters.


      The Secret to a Happy, Healthy Life, with Gretchen Rubin

      Take the Four Tendency quiz!

      Gretchen’s books:

      • Outer Order, Inner Calm: Declutter and Organize to Make More Room for Happiness

      • The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too)

      • Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits--to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life

      • The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun

      The Happier Podcast with Gretchen Rubin

      Gretchen’s 2019 tour dates

      The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo

      Food Rules: An Eater’s Manual, by Michael Pollan

      3 More Feel Good Effect Episodes You’ll Love

      Paring Down to Create More, with Melissa Coleman

      How to Get Unstuck and Simplify, with Ashley Gartland

      One Little Word, with Ali Edwards


      1. Share it via FacebookInstagramPinterest, or Twitter

      2. Leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts. Your ratings and reviews help more people find the show!

      3. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts.

      This post contains affiliate links.

      80 Be More Productive in 15-Minutes a Day

      Feel Good Effect PodcastPaige ReohrComment

      Want to be more productive? We’ve got you covered! In this episode, we are going to dive into this whole idea of productivity in just 15-minutes a day.

      Be more productive in 15-minutes a day, an episode from the Feel Good Effect #feelgoodeffect #realfoodwholelife #wellnesspodcast #poductivity #gentleisthenewperfect

      Be More Productive in 15-Minutes a Day

      In today’s episode of the Feel Good Effect podcast, we’re talking about what’s going on in your brain when you try to be productive, how multitasking isn’t helping you succeed, and some tactical tips to get you more productive in only 15-minutes a day.

      Listen now!


      Want to be more productive in just 15-minutes a day? I’ve got you covered!

      We are so excited to dive into this whole idea of productivity in just 15-minutes a day.

      If you’ve been here a while, you know that I’m not about quick fixes or gimmicks, and I know that 15-minutes a day might sound a little gimmicky, but here’s the thing: my approach to productivity is the exact same as my approach to wellness, which is all about intentionality and being incremental.

      When you can apply intentionality and incrementality, to areas like productivity and wellness, you can really move the needle without so much effort, so much discipline, or so much willpower.

      When you apply these techniques, you’re harnessing the power of your brain, the power of science-based habit, and mindfulness.

      When you use those practices and teachings, you can do more with less, no gimmicks required.

      I’m here to help you find time and create space for what matters most, and that it what productivity is all about.

      If you look at the business space and the entire productivity category, a lot of it is very much about being productive so you can do more.

      It’s about finding ways to do as much work in as little time as possible so you can do more work, be more successful, build a business, make more money, all those things.

      And there’s nothing wrong with building businesses and making more money, but I think it’s time to talk about productivity in the context of not doing more so you can just do more, but doing the right things so you can do less, so that you can create space and time for wellness, family, and friends.

      That is why I’m coming at this from a 15-minute a day perspective.

      Before we dive in, I want to invite you to be an insider by jumping on our free newsletter list, here.

      As part of our insider group, you get weekly emails with what I like to call “the simplified three”: I take three of my best ideas, whether it’s for productivity, meals, movement, or mind, and I send them to you.

      No fluff, just lots of goodness, plus behind the scenes and inside peaks into what’s coming up or going on with the business

      Your brain on productivity:

      If we’re going to get you to be more productive in just 15-minutes a day, I want to tell you the secret behind what’s happening in your brain when you try to be more productive.

      We’re living in a time and a culture that is just plain full of distractions, from technology to the way that we travel and the way that we work, life is full of all kinds of things pulling our attention away from doing focused work.

      And when I say work I’m not just talking about the things you do in your day job, but also your passions, your hobbies, or things you do for self-care, for self-love, or for fun.

      As we are distracted and pulled in a million directions, we lose the ability to focus on just one thing at a time.

      And when we’re distracted, we miss what’s really going on.

      Here’s the biggest myth I want to bust right now: multitasking.

      The idea that multitasking is helpful or something that we should strive for, or something that is at all contributing to productivity is flat out false.

      And I’m as guilty of it as anyone; I like to think that I’m a master-multitasker but the thing is, we know that the brain can’t actually multitask.

      So what you are calling multitasking, is really task-switching, switching from thing to thing.

      Let’s take an average work day in an office setting: task-switching might look like working on an important report, switching quickly to check your email, checking your phone, popping over to twitter to see what that looks like, doing a quick scan of your favorite insta stories, going back to your report, stopping quickly to talk to someone who’s walking by your desk, and then back to that report.

      And this can happen at home too: maybe you’re trying to have a conversation with your partner, quick check of the phone, back to the conversation, quick distraction from a pet or a child, back to the conversation, look at what’s going on on TV, back to the phone, back to the conversation.

      None of this is bad, you shouldn’t start feeling guilty or ashamed-- we are not about that here.

      We’re just about trying to help you see inside that beautiful brain so you can make better decisions in the way that you want to.

      Each time your brain task-switches, it drains a little more energy.

      Think about your overall energy for the day as a full tank of gas when you get up in the morning, and every time you switch, it drains a little more.

      It’s no wonder by the end of the day we’re exhausted and overwhelmed because our brain is just struggling to keep up with all the switching.

      I talked about this back in the decision diet episode, which you can listen to here.

      This idea of task-switching is totally normal, our entire society and culture is set up for it.

      “Part of productivity is training your solo-tasking muscle. Training your ability to do one thing at a time with as little distracting and task-switching as possible”.

      I really believe that the ability to solo-task is going to be more important than ever as we move forward, as technology become more pervasive, as we have more expectations piled on our plate.

      Our ability to create habits, strategies, and mindsets to focus on one thing at a time is going to be so important for not only productivity at work, but for our overall well being.

      On how to build your solo-tasking muscle:

      Maybe when you try solo-tasking, your brain gets distracted or your schedule just doesn’t support that kind of focused work.

      First, start reframing productivity as getting something done that actually matters, rather than just trying to get more done.

      We can go through days and even weeks when we get a lot done, but when we look back on that time, we might still wonder, what did we even do?

      That happens to me too, but when I do this reframe about, “how can I get more of the things that actually matter done, that are going to move the needle at work, in wellness, and in life”, it really helps me reevaluate what I’m working on.

      Second, start reframing productivity in terms of intentionality and incrementality: make a decision and have a reason behind it, starting small, and building momentum from there.

      On mindset and resistance:

      Before we talk about some tactical habits, we’re going to talk a little more about mindset.

      Often, mindset is standing in the way of productivity.

      We focus so much on habits like a productivity planner or the perfect app, but we wonder why it’s not working, and that’s mindset.

      So here’s what happens when you actually sit down and try to be more productive and be more focused.

      All of a sudden you’re met with this resistance, it seems so hard, you feel like you’re overthinking it, you’d rather do anything but solo-task and all of a sudden your phone or Netflix start to look really appealing and all of your motivation fades away, then you’re left back in that multi-tasking cycle.

      So what’s really happening in the brain, what is this resistance all about?

      It’s the exact same mindset that I talk about in wellness, the striving mindset: perfectionism, all or nothing thinking, and comparison.

      Think about it for a second, when I say make a decision and have a reason behind it, is your first thing to have resistance about that?

      I guarantee you, especially some of you Dynamos, that’s the case.

      If you haven’t taken our Wellness Personality Quiz yet, you can do that here.

      For a lot of Dynamos out there, this feeling of perfectionism comes up when I say “make a decision, have a reason” or when I say “just pick one thing to work on”, all of a sudden you might feel paralyzed because you don’t know which one it should be.

      And I am right there with you, this is where my anxiety really comes up, too: when someone says to “pick something, it doesn’t have to be the perfect thing”, I just need to find the exact right thing and if I can’t find it I can’t get started.

      If you recognize this in yourself, this feeling around perfectionism, around picking the right thing, or just getting started when you don’t know the perfect steps, that’s totally fine it’s a normal part of the brain, a normal part of the human experience.

      But recognizing that’s what’s actually standing in the way, not that you don’t have enough time but that your brain is keeping you from moving forward, is so powerful.

      When it comes to the all or nothing thinking, we very much often think 5-minutes doesn’t count.

      There’s a book that I love called, Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World, by Cal Newport.

      Deep work is exactly what we’re talking about here: focusing, not being distracted, solo tasking, and spending more time doing work that actually matters.

      One of the places I differ in my approach from Cal is that he recommends working up to four hours of deep work a day.

      And while I think that’s an amazing goal, I think that for so many of us who don’t have control over our schedules at work, or who are working mamas juggling all the things, stay at home mamas, retirees, working up to four hours a day is often unrealistic and because it’s such an all or nothing proposition, you don’t end up getting there.

      But I don’t think you have to do four hours a day.

      If you can, more power to you, I think that would be incredibly powerful and effective.

      But I don’t do four hours of focused work a day and I’m able to create this business, do the podcast, create the website, and be a mama, be a wife, and work out, do all the things without four hours of deep work.

      So when it comes to all or nothing thinking, I think for the moment we can let go of thinking it has to be a certain amount of time and really start an incremental approach, doing it in really small baby steps to build up the muscle, to build momentum, and really to just start doing it.

      The last place resistance comes up is in comparison.

      Those of you who are Seekers, we think it has to look like someone else’s version, maybe a book that you read, maybe someone who you follow on Instagram, or a version of yourself in the past that was incredibly productive.

      And that comparison conversation can be really really loud and can keep you stuck.

      Your brain on task-switching and solo tasking:

      The last little tidbit I want to throw your way is when we talk about the brain, when we talk about task-switching, and when we talk about solo-tasking.

      This is huge, I really want you to know what’s going on because it will allow you to sit in that uncomfortable place and ride the wave out until you get more comfortable and more confident with solo-tasking.

      So what happens in your brain when you task-switch is you get a tiny little hit of dopamine, the same thing that shows up when you eat sugar or do something really pleasurable, even drug-use can trigger dopamine (I am NOT comparing the two, this is just what our brains do).

      Our brain craves stimulation and little rewards and there are little rewards and stimulation built into all these distractions, especially when we’re talking about phones and technology.

      The whole platform of email and of every single social media app, or really many of the apps you love to check, all give us a little hit of dopamine in our brains.

      And when you deprive your brain of that little hit by focusing on one thing at a time, your brain starts behaving like a toddler and throwing a temper tantrum-- it wants that little hit!

      And that’s why when you try to put your phone away and just focus, the first thing you do is crave picking it back up and looking at what’s going on.

      Yes, part of it is FOMO (fear of missing out), but part of it is just the actual way our brain is hardwired and the way that all of these apps are developed to get us coming back.

      But here’s the good news about all of this, about the striving mindset, perfectionism, all or nothing thinking, and comparison, and about our brains’ craving dopamine: with a little intentional attention, we can rewire.

      When you start to a incorporate a little more focused productivity and you start to feel that pull to check your phone, know that just by resisting it for a small amount of time, your brain will actually learn to focus.

      I think this is the coolest thing about our brains, that they can learn something different.

      But you have to give it a little space, a little time, a little self-compassion to say “yes, of course I’m craving that”, and just sit with that.

      And in actually not that much time, your brain will start to realize that it’s just doing one thing at a time, and everything is fine.

      The reason I talk about the way the brain works in habit change and mindset is because this is often the biggest barrier.

      If you go jump right to the latest productivity book and try to implement those strategies but you haven’t dealt with the stuff going on behind the scenes, it is so much harder and often that cycle of trying and failing just continues.

      So, here’s the takeaway so far:

      • Reframe productivity from getting more done to getting something done that matters

      • Think about it in terms of being intentional, so make a decision and have a reason behind it

      • Be incremental, so start small and build momentum

      • When you actually dive into being productive, sit with the resistance, and know that by working through it and giving your brain a little space and compassion, you’ll be able to come out the other side and it will be amazing.

      Tactical habits for productivity:

      Here are three action items; I want you to pick one to start with and let me know how it goes on our Facebook group or on Instagram.

      I love seeing you guys not only listening to the podcast, but putting this stuff into action.

      1 | Commit to doing 15-minutes of focused work.

      Depending on where you’re coming at this from, maybe you already have a habit of focused work, maybe start with an hour or with two hours.

      But if you feel like someone who is literally multitasking every single day all day, starting with 15-minutes can actually make a huge impact.

      When I say focused work, I mean solo-tasking, so no checking emails, no looking at your phone, no distractions.

      And if you have a lot of family and pets around, it can be tricky carving out the time, so it might be early morning, it might be late at night, it might be a break at work, but that’s why I’m saying 15-minutes, so you can actually do this and actually carve out that time.

      And I want you to pick one thing to do.

      While I can’t tell you what that one thing is, it’s probably something in the back of your mind that you’ve been avoiding, that you know you want more of in your life, or that you know you want to tackle but it just seems like too much and you’re never going to have the time.

      So here are some things to think about and get you started:

      • Writing: for many people, writing is focused work that they put off. Not writing an email, but writing something meaningful.

      • Reading: another one I hear from people all the time is that they want to read more but they don’t have time. So I’m asking you right now to spend 15-minutes of focused reading time instead of scrolling through your phone and instead of watching Netflix.

      • Decluttering: another idea might be decluttering. We have a decluttering miniseries coming up in a few weeks that I’m so excited for. Spending 15-minutes of focused time on the junk drawer in your kitchen, and then 15-minutes of the linen cabinet, and then 15-minutes in the closet.

      I know it’s not nearly as satisfying, but the fact is that you’ll probably do it a lot more consistently because it’s a small amount of time that’s very focused.

      One more little hint here: pick something with an endpoint.

      Decluttering a drawer has an actual end when you can get the reward of finishing the job, a book has an ending so you get that reward and that feeling of accomplishment when you finish it, even if it takes a little longer.

      Even in the writing process ,maybe you pick something where you can finish a chapter or finish a page.

      I want you to build in the closed loop where by spending intentional attention, focused time, solo-tasking, at the end you actually get that reward of finishing something and that feeling of momentum.

      2 | Create a productivity routine with “when and then”.

      You can use the powerful behavior change concept of “when and then”, which is pairing two things so that when you do one thing you’re more likely to do another thing.

      A sneak peek into my personal productivity routine is when I sit down at my desk, I plug my phone into a charger in the other room, which is actually in a cabinet.

      Having the phone out of sight and more difficult to get to makes it way less tempting for me to stand up from my desk and go check something.

      So, when I sit down at my desk, I plug my phone in in another room, that’s my when and then, and that’s part of the routine that I built.

      Maybe your when and then is picking up a book when you’re sitting in your car in the pick-up line, instead of looking at your phone.

      Maybe your when and then is when you get to work, you sit down and work on something meaningful for 15-minutes before checking anything else.

      You can create a whole series of these when and thens, you can build a routine that really works for you, but start with one thing, one when and then.

      And then focus on that first step, so when you sit down, write for 15-minutes, or when you pick up your book, read a page, or when you open the closet door, declutter for 15-minutes.

      By creating these when and then routines, you give your brain less time to act up, throw a toddler tantrum, be perfectionistic, all or nothing, or comparison.

      You just create a rule that you follow every time, which starts to become automatic and effortless.

      3 | Two out of three.

      Last up, I want you to think about that two out of three rule that we talk about here all the time.

      Be more productive in 15-minutes a day, an episode from the Feel Good Effect #feelgoodeffect #realfoodwholelife #wellnesspodcast #poductivity #gentleisthenewperfect

      “Consistency over perfection”.

      I want you to focus on building this habit muscle, and building this productivity routine on more days than you don’t.

      Sure, it would be great to do this every single day, but if that version of success seems impossible, come back to the two out of three and just remind yourself that you’re working on doing more days than you don’t.

      More days with focused, solo-tasking than not.

      And in a lot of ways, it matters less about what you actually do, and more that you do something.

      Because over time you’ll get better at this and you can build that 15-minutes into something longer, or continue with those 15-minutes throughout the day because amazingly, those small amounts of time build up to so much in the long-term.

      It’s about giving yourself space and time, and knowing when you’re actually focused and doing the things that matter.

      Be more productive in 15-minutes a day, an episode from the Feel Good Effect #feelgoodeffect #realfoodwholelife #wellnesspodcast #poductivity #gentleisthenewperfect

      “You can do far less and create so much more”.

      To summarize:

      1 | Aim to do 15-minutes of solo-tasking: no distractions, no checking, no task-switching, just one thing. Pick something with an endpoint. Be intentional.

      2 | Create a productivity routine: include when and then pairing.

      3 | Two out of three rule: consistency over perfection, doing something more than you don’t across your day, across your week, across your life.


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      79 Find Your Passion in 15-Minutes a Day with Kelsey Murphy

      Feel Good Effect PodcastPaige Reohr2 Comments

      Looking to find your passion in 15-minutes a day? This episode is for you.

      Looking to find your passion in 15-minutes a day? This episode is for you. In today’s show we’re talking with Kelsey Murphy about the ever-illusive idea of work-life balance, how to find more satisfaction in what you do, and how to discover your passion in just a few minutes each day. #feelgoodeffect #realfoodwholelife #podcast #wellnesspodcast #healthyliving #passion #whiskeyandwork #purpose

      Find Your Passion in 15-Minutes a Day with Kelsey Murphy

      In today’s show we’re talking with Kelsey Murphy about the ever-illusive idea of work-life balance, how to find more satisfaction in what you do, and how to discover your passion in just a few minutes each day.

      Scroll down to listen.


      Today’s episode is how to find your passion in just 15 minutes a day, and how better to do that than to talk to Kelsey Murphy?

      Kelsey’s a career, business, and life coach for Fortune 500 companies like Facebook and Twitter, as well as the founder of Whiskey & Work, an online community dedicated to honest conversations about ambition, goal setting, leadership, and striking a healthy work-life balance.

      We’re going to talk all about work-life balance because Kelsey’s specialty is really working for people who want to feel different at work, who want to feel more purposeful, more lit up, more satisfied (and that purpose part is what we’re all about here at the Feel Good Effect).

      Finding purpose, finding meaning, spending time on what you really care about, whether that’s in your day to day, whether that’s in your 9 to 5, in the way that you volunteer or give back to your community, the way that you parents, the way that you are in relationships.

      Finding your passion and pursuing it does not mean quitting your job and starting something new, although that is an option for those of you who are looking to refresh and to pivot, this is really about connecting with yourself.

      What lights you up and how do you add more of that into your life?

      I know some of you are interested in the wellness space or online business, and this is a great one for you.

      This episode is brought to you by our Wellness Personality quiz.

      I know there are some of you who still haven’t taken the leap and taken the quiz and I urge you to go for it!

      The quiz is a few questions and you’ll find some insight into how your brain works and how to leverage that, including a free research guide and tips for taking this wellness game to the next level.

      Get your personality guide here!

      On Kelsey and finding her passion:

      In this episode, we talk about career and finding your passion and how they relate to wellness.

      Kelsey is such a wealth of information and she is going to have so many tactical tips and ideas for us.

      Before we get to those, Kelsey has a website, a thriving business, and a podcast and she has a story that lead her to the different things that she does.

      She definitely is a multi-passionate person and entrepreneur.

      But she also feels kind of funny even saying the word “entrepreneur”, because growing up she never envisioned herself starting a business, which is relatable for a lot of people in similar positions.

      Starting a business was not on her list, but being a stay at home mom was, that was actually her dream: to grow up, have a successful career, do fun things, and then be a stay at home mom.

      But what she realized when she was growing and evolving was that she actually wanted both of those worlds.

      Looking back, Kelsey laughs because as a kid she was smart but never was really overly ambitious.

      She notices now that it wasn’t laziness, she was learning about who she was and how to love and embrace that but when things got hard or difficult for her, she tended to shy away from it.

      She just didn’t have the tools to go after what was holding her back, what about herself was she trying to fix and change that she more needed to just love and embrace in order to leverage them and move forward.

      Kelsey is a night owl, but she has evolved to become someone who talks about morning routines and she’s embraced them with her family because she realized that she actually had a lot of control over who she wants to be and how she wants to show up in the world.

      She realized that there were a lot of ways that she could change her brain and change the way she was operating to be a little more effective, efficient, and productive, but also to focus on more meaningful things in her life.

      To start her day with more intention, to be able to have the time and the space to laugh with her husband and have spontaneous morning dates with him and really fun adventures as well as downtime with her kiddos.

      Ultimately, she learned that she wasn’t lazy, she just was not doing things that lit her up, and she wasn’t loving all the different parts of herself.

      She also learned that she needed to embrace and love that she was so highly emotional.

      After graduating college, Kelsey went home and ran a business with her family for a few years.

      She took it over and helped them run it, but it was in a very small town, and she realized that as much as she thought she wanted to move back home and be a stay at home mom, she needed to get out into the world and have some experiences.

      She was just feeling that itch, so she threw all her stuff in her car one day and drove up to San Francisco, slept on her best friend’s couch for a couple days and realized that this was the adventure she was meant to be on.

      She started looking for a job and randomly stumbled upon and assistant job in an advertising agency which she fell in love with, the people, the creative work, the energy, and the environment.

      It was one of those places that everyone brings their dog to work, wears hoodies and flip flops, and stays up late trying to create a beautiful piece of art together.

      She worked her way up the ranks there, and ended up becoming one of the youngest Account Directors promoted there and took on these big accounts like Nintendo and Elizabeth Arden and she got to fly all over the world and do everything like research and focus groups to shooting big commercials with Britney Spears and Bono and all this stuff that she felt so lucky to do.

      It was amazing, but maybe in the highly emotional person that she was, she knew within the first few years that it probably was not the job for her.

      She just felt that sense inside of her, that it was a little bit off, that she didn’t feel super fulfilled by it.

      She realized that the people around her were actually passionate about their job, they really loved what they did, but she didn’t, so it was time for her to find out what she was passionate about.

      What am I wanting to google late at night, that I still have the energy for? Where am I being pulled to go after?

      For a while, she thought that was just her emotional mind, but she realized maybe that’s just part of who she is; it’s a superpower, it allows her to be more empathetic, more compassionate, it allows her to dig deeper into what’s really going on with people.

      But at that time, she just thought it was a nuisance, she thought it was blocking her, and was a fog not allowing her to clearly see what her next steps were.

      Now we know that when starting a business, there aren’t a lot of clear next steps.

      Maybe the one in front of you is clear, but the next ten are always going to be grey; you just have to take that one next step and see if it starts to feel right, if it starts to light you up, if it starts to build momentum and excite you.

      When she was at the advertising agency, she started working one on one with people and was trying to figure out how they were going to manage maternity leave, and then helping clients learn how to deal with difficult employees or bosses, and how to plan small side businesses.

      She started doing some consulting and that’s where she found out that she loved it.

      “I wanted to wake up early in the morning and stay up late and give all my spare time to these conversations”.

      She then went down the rabbit hole of certifications to try out a handful of different things, dabbling in different things trying to decide how she wanted to craft her own business.

      She ended up quitting her job and traveling the world for six months with her husband, where she met with different coaches all over the world.

      In these meetings, Kelsey asked these coaches about their craft, their practice, how they did it, what they loved about it, and also their business, how they ran their business.

      And then she kicked her’s off; there have been some highs and lows along the way.

      You think you’ve got it, you take a couple steps forwards, you hit a goal, and then you realize that target changes; you learn things about yourself and you grow.

      She’s been doing that for a while now, and she’s been so lucky to work with amazing people, like Marie Forleo who brought Kelsey on board to coach her entire crew at B-School.

      She does a lot of other business coaching and helps women who are transitioning in their first couple years of business, or transitioning out of their 9-5 and starting their businesses.

      Kelsey sits down with these women to map it out from a holistic perspective of “what do you want your life to look like?” and “how to we build a business integrated into that?”

      Looking to find your passion in 15-minutes a day? This episode is for you. In today’s show we’re talking with Kelsey Murphy about the ever-illusive idea of work-life balance, how to find more satisfaction in what you do, and how to discover your passion in just a few minutes each day. #feelgoodeffect #realfoodwholelife #podcast #wellnesspodcast #healthyliving #passion #whiskeyandwork #purpose

      “It’s not “here’s work” and “here’s life”. I really believe when you’re doing something you love, those two things are very integrated”.

      Fixing and changing vs. love and embracing:

      Something we talk about here on the podcast is self-acceptance vs. self-improvement.

      And they might seem like they conflict, but there’s a place where you can balance the two.

      And maybe you feel like you have these parts of yourself that you love and embrace but you also want to fix and change some things, and that might feel a little uncomfortable.

      Sometimes the way our emotions come out in different ways that can scare us.

      Kelsey says that she’s always been emotional, and for so long she wanted to change that; she saw it hinder her in so many ways and she didn’t have the tools she needed in order to embrace it, leverage it, and really use that part of her in a way she felt proud of.

      “I want to feel proud of the way I’m showing up with people”.

      She had to learn to love that different piece of herself, that emotional piece of herself.

      It really didn’t happen until she was working with her own life coach when she was able to admit and accept that it’s who she is.

      She realized she could love that part of herself, she could love being emotional and still work on being a better person.

      The more she could embrace it, the more she could make her story about learning to leverage and embrace being emotional, and manage it to a place where she shows up in the world proud of how she’s talking to people and acting.

      The first place to go is to acknowledge where you feel shame and where you feel guilt.

      Have you been telling yourself a story that maybe isn’t true?

      A story about that piece of you that’s holding you back, that if you could just change that one thing you would be better off.

      Can you shift that story to love and embrace that part of you while still growing and evolving into who you want to be?

      Looking to find your passion in 15-minutes a day? This episode is for you. In today’s show we’re talking with Kelsey Murphy about the ever-illusive idea of work-life balance, how to find more satisfaction in what you do, and how to discover your passion in just a few minutes each day. #feelgoodeffect #realfoodwholelife #podcast #wellnesspodcast #healthyliving #passion #whiskeyandwork #purpose

      “Love and acceptance as a pathway to change”.

      More powerful, more effective, and more enjoyable.

      On the one next step for making change:

      Kelsey’s idea of having that one next step is such a great way to flip the script on chasing what you’re passionate about or pivoting in your career, because it’s so tactical, actionable, and incremental.

      She feels like we’ve created this idea of having a passion that is a be-all end-all thing that you have to wear on your sleeve, which is a lot of pressure to put on passion.

      But the reality is, that’s not usually how it is.

      “You don’t find it, you create your passion. You create it by listening to your curiosities, by listening and following those curiosities, those things that tug at your heart. You follow them in very small tip your toe in the water ways”.

      Kelsey is a big believer in 15 minute a day things.

      It’s been life changing for her, it’s how she became a morning person- she started a morning routine with 15 minutes a day.

      And it’s how she started following a lot of her passions, everything from wanting to be a life coach to wanting to play the piano, exploring each in 15 minutes a day.

      We can change our brains, stop looking at passion as this big end-all be-all thing and realize that we’re going to have lots of passions throughout our life; our job is to follow those passions.

      If the word passion is too scary, start following your curiosities for 15 minutes a day and start going after those in a way that feels exciting with a little more ease and a little more joy.

      Kelsey has a whole 30 day Passion Plan.

      For 30 days, you start following one thing you’re curious about, one potential passion, and by the end of that month you will know whether that’s a passion you want to dig deeper into whether you start a business with, follow your career with, or it’s a really great story.

      And you’ve learned so much about yourself simply by being consistent and by following something that potentially intrigues you or lights you up

      Even though Kelsey has this business now, which has had its highs and lows but has been successful over the last few years, she’s still constantly exploring things within her business.

      For instance, her podcast has only been going for a few months now, and while it’s seen some really great success, she had no idea whether she was going to like it or not.

      She’d told herself to do it for 50 episodes, a couple minutes a day here and there, and at the end of 50 she’d know if she liked it or not.

      Just letting herself off the hook and committing to that allowed her to get through the first 6 before she realized that she loved it

      She thinks that’s part of her success with it, is that people can hear that it lights her up, and that she has wonderful guests to tell their stories

      The 30 day passion plan for you:

      For those of you who are wanting to start a business in the wellness industry, but it seems so daunting and overwhelming, maybe with a background experience in wellness but maybe not.

      Kelsey is working with a lot of people who have already started their own business, but they’re doing it on the side for now.

      What she tends to do for them, is together they’ll choose one thing that they’re really excited about.

      Pick something that lights you up, or something that you’re curious about.

      Decide that this month, that is what you’re going to explore: for 15 minutes a day, explore that.

      Log it into your calendar so you hold that 15 minutes sacred.

      Maybe you start by consuming information about it, listen to a podcast on it, look up some experts on it, get a book from the library on it, read articles on it.

      And then look more into those experts, go a little deeper, watch their videos, see if they have a free course, maybe reach out to one of them and see if they’ll do a 15 minute coffee chat or Skype conversation.

      The goal is to consistently consume this kind of information, dig deep into this one specific curiosity that you have because by the end of the month that time is going to pass anyways, you will blink, and next month you’ll know if maybe that’s a really cool secondary thing you want to have under your belt, or if it’s something that you just love.

      And if it is your thing, you get to spend the next whole month exploring how to make that happen in your life, how to become an expert in that one area.

      The dedication to one thing a month can be so powerful.

      This is a chance to take action, and we want you to grab this and tag us so we can see what you’re doing.

      This incremental approach can be used in so many different ways, even if you’re not looking to start a new wellness career, you could do this even if you’re just feeling really stagnant in your life, wanting to pursue something new but not sure where to start.

      Kelsey works a lot with people on their values, but that is also intimidating for a lot of people.

      But she says it can be helpful to look at the people around you and to the people who inspire you so that you almost feel a twinge of jealousy in a way when you see them (in a positive way).

      You can make that your thing and focus on that for the next month.

      For example, Kelsey had family friends who have a marriage that she absolutely loved, she loved the way that the husband and wife interacted together.

      So she sat down and looked at what they did that was different, and it was these small gestures of kindness that they did for each other.

      So for a month, she really dedicated herself to doing those and exploring acts of kindness and these small gestures, and through exploring, she learned that there is a lot of research behind that and how much it does affect the way that relationships end up.

      Just by dedicating one month of learning toward that and implementing it and trying to do something small every day, it changed the way that she looked at her relationship, it changed her marriage.

      It doesn’t just have to be business, it can be something that you just want to have in your life.

      The 30 day planner chunks it down into 15 minute increments so that you can start showing up in the world in the way that you want to

      Productivity with purpose:

      It’s not about organizing your time for the sake of organizing your time, it’s about being purposeful and thoughtful about productivity so you have more time to do the things you love.

      Kelsey takes her calendar seriously because she’s noticed that if she’s not intentional with her time, then she will blink and the week will have gone by.

      She knows that, for her, she needs to plan to have days that leave her satisfied and excited.

      Kelsey always looks at what kind of week she wants to have.

      She does a practice called a three year manifesto- she looks at where she would love to be in three years, starting with how she wants to wake up in the morning, and she looks at that when planning her week and thinks about what from that she can have right now.

      What can I plan in my week that’s giving those things to me right now?

      That’s when she’ll add in a note for laughter, or to take a minute to go have fun with just her and her daughter; she starts to really block off her time.

      For Kelsey, blocking off time is really important otherwise she goes through her day passively.

      But as moms know, when you have a child, you can’t always stick to this perfect schedule.

      But if she finds that she is behind, she still has those times blocked off and knows that she still wants them in her life, so she just finds a way to move them for later in the week.

      And she has to be a little more selective and minimize a little more, but they aren’t lost; she still looks at that day and is proud of what she wanted to happen.

      It’s kind of like looking at your day and saying “maybe I’m still behind, but I can still get two out of three of these really meaningful things done”.

      If you’re looking to be more productive with your time, you can use that 15 minute planner to time track, reflecting on how time was spent the day before and how that can inform how you want to spend the current day, even if it’s really simple.

      There are some parts of our days that we don’t have as much control over, but there are usually pockets of time that can be spent in more intentional ways.

      What’s coming up for Kelsey:

      It’s the first quarter of the year which is so exciting for Kelsey because everyone is super hyped about their resolutions and goals.

      Where January is a little overwhelming, by February goals are a little more clear and we know what we want to be focusing on.

      For Kelsey, in February she dives deep into B-School with Marie Forleo where she hosts her own personal Mastermind, which she only does once a year.

      She gets a small group of women who want to focus on the momentum and consistency of their businesses for about eight weeks in an environment of like-minded women on similar journeys.

      She gets to dedicate and fully immerse herself into these incredible, soulful women getting after their businesses.

      On another note, Kelsey’s podcast airs two episodes a week, Tuesdays are interviews with incredible people who share their stories and expertise and on Thursdays she has a 15-20 minute solo show that’s usually about what she has coached people on.

      On what it means to be healthy:

      “To me, being healthy probably looks like a day where it ends and I can breathe and smile and feel a sense of pride in the way that I showed up in the world, a sense of happiness in the way I treated my body, a sense of compassion for the areas I get to grow… and a sense of love towards myself, my body, and the people around me”.

      Listen now!

      Listen on Apple Podcasts

      Looking to find your passion in 15-minutes a day? This episode is for you. In today’s show we’re talking with Kelsey Murphy about the ever-illusive idea of work-life balance, how to find more satisfaction in what you do, and how to discover your passion in just a few minutes each day. #feelgoodeffect #realfoodwholelife #podcast #wellnesspodcast #healthyliving #passion #whiskeyandwork #purpose

      Guest Bio

      Kelsey Murphy is a Career, Business & Life Coach for Fortune 500 companies like Facebook, Twitter, Intuit - as well as the founder of Whiskey & Work, an online community dedicated to honest conversations about ambition, goal-setting, leadership, and striking a healthy work-life balance. 

      Her background comes from the Advertising industry as the Account Director for Nintendo, Dasani, Go Pro, and Elizabeth Arden.  Today Kelsey coaches people who want to feel different at work—more purposeful, more lit up, more satisfied.  She specializes in career strategy and communication, works 1:1 with employees from companies like Google, Apple, Gap, Glassdoor, Sundance and more. Kelsey has been featured as an expert for Forbes' top ranked career sites, Huffington Post, Business Insider, The Muse, LiveStrong, Living Healthy, and But on her other business card it might say snowboarder, eater, dreamer and fresh-air-addict. 


      1. Share it via FacebookInstagramPinterest, or Twitter

      2. Leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts. Your ratings and reviews help more people find the show!

      3. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts.

      78 How to Stop Overthinking Mindfulness

      Feel Good Effect PodcastPaige ReohrComment

      Mindfulness has something for everyone, even though it might seem unattainable or intimidating.

      This episode is about how to stop overthinking mindfulness and how to infuse more presence into your everyday life.

      Mindfulness has something for everyone, even though it might seem unattainable or intimidating. This episode of the Feel Good Effect is about how to stop overthinking mindfulness and how to infuse more presence into your everyday life. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #welllnesspodcast #simplifywellness #stopoverthinking #mindfulness

      How to Stop Overthinking Mindfulness

      This is the third episode in our mini series on how to stop overthinking and really simplify wellness.

      In this segment, we talk about what mindfulness really is, the benefits it has on our wellness, how wellness mindset blocks get in the way, and some tactical ways to infuse mindfulness into your life.

      Scroll down to listen.


      Today’s episode is about how to stop overthinking mindfulness.

      Or if you don’t think about it at all, maybe how to infuse more mindfulness and more presence into your everyday life.

      I’m so glad you’re here for this third and final episode in our mini series on how to stop overthinking and really simplify wellness.

      Our first episode was how to stop overthinking meals, our second episode was how to stop overthinking movement, and then we’ll dive right into this third and final on how to stop overthinking mindfulness.

      If you haven’t already, I want to invite you to take our free Wellness Personality Quiz.

      It’s just a few questions, there’s no right or wrong.

      It’s about knowing your personality when it comes to wellness, some of the mindset blocks that might be standing in your way, and then you’ll get a free resource guide that will give you tactical tips and suggestions to move out of those mindset blocks and find sustainable, gentle wellness.

      Stay tuned, because at the end of this episode I’m going to give you a sneak peak at who’s coming on next week.

      On what mindfulness really is:

      Let’s talk about mindfulness for a minute here.

      I think mindfulness is one of those things that sounds so unattainable, right?

      What does it even mean? Does it mean I have to meditate for two hours a day, or become a yogi? We don’t all have time for that.

      But mindfulness and mindfulness practices are actually incredibly simple and they’re often the missing piece in the wellness puzzle.

      We often focus on food and then movement, but we forget about this other part, about our mind, about mindfulness, about the whole picture.

      So what is mindfulness, anyway?

      I love to use this definition from Dr. Leah Weiss: mindfulness is intentional attention.

      It’s paying attention on purpose.

      Think about that for a second: how often do you go through a whole day or a whole week without paying attention on purpose?

      It’s so easy, life is so busy and distracting and there are about a million things pulling our attention in different ways.

      Between multitasking and juggling all the things, it is just really hard to have intentional attention, or attention on purpose.

      So mindfulness is really about presence and about not missing your life or the important things or the people in your life.

      The other major plus when it comes to mindfulness and mindfulness practices is that you get so much benefit from them in such a little amount of time.

      You don’t have to spend hours on stuff, you can practice what I like to call micro-mindfulness, or these tiny little pockets, and it has so many benefits.

      Yes, more calm and clarity, but also impacts on sleep, mental health, and overall satisfaction with life.

      Get out of fight or flight and into rest & digest:

      Here’s the other really cool thing about mindfulness practices: they help you get out of fight or flight and into rest & digest.

      You may have heard about fight or flight somewhere along the line, it’s your body’s stress response to something you perceive as a threat.

      A fight or flight would have been really helpful to us back in ancient days to get us out of danger, but nowadays, our bodies respond to stress all the time.

      Maybe that’s traffic, your kid having a meltdown, a really nasty work email, a fight with your partner, and many of us can spend entire days or entire weeks in fight or flight mode, super reactive with cortisol spikes galore.

      And like always, this is not about shame or blame or telling you that you’re doing something wrong; this is a normal, natural part of the human experience.

      But because our modern lives are so full of these stress triggers, some of us find that when we’re in that fight or flight loop, we can’t get out of it, and that has really damaging effects on physical health, mental health, and overall well being.

      Maybe those stressors in your life are really big, an illness, something happening in your relationship, a move, loss of a job, or maybe they’re really small, just the daily stressors that add up over time and start to wear you down.

      Our bodies crave and need to get out of fight or flight and into rest & digest.

      We need to allow our nervous system to calm and reset, and one of the best ways to do that is with mindfulness practices.

      I personally think that some mindfulness practices just seem plain unattainable, they seem like they’re going to take forever, or that you need to be some yogi on top of a mountain (which is fine and super awesome if that is you, but for most of us that’s just not a daily thing).

      Maybe mindfulness sounds like a religion and you don’t want it to conflict with your spiritual practices, or maybe you just don’t know how to get into it in the first place.

      I think that’s where the wellness mindset blocks come in, of perfectionism, all or nothing thinking, and comparison.


      When we think about mindfulness, perfection might come up as that perfect yogi on a mountain or needing to go on a spiritual retreat or carve out time for a mindfulness class, and while all those things are amazing, if that’s your ideal and your perfect scenario but you’re not doing it because you’re not able to access that perfect option, then it’s time to rethink things.

      All or Nothing

      All or nothing shows up when it comes to mindfulness because we often think we have to do things for an hour at a time, so I have to meditate for an hour, or for half an hour, and that’s enough to keep many of us from trying at all.

      And there are a ton of benefits from meditation that lasts a significant period of time, but most of us aren’t able to do it, especially when starting out.

      So let’s not let all or nothing thinking get in the way of engaging with mindfulness or little bits of mindfulness throughout our day.

      Because maybe micro mindfulness leads you down the path to meditation, or maybe it just allows you to be more present and get into that rest & digest, allow your nervous system to have a break and allowing you to feel calm and refreshed, ready for whatever life throws at you.


      Maybe comparison creeps in here, you look at someone else and think you’re a scattered person who can’t possibly adopt mindfulness, or you follow somebody on social media (a place we fall into all sorts of comparison traps) who is a mindfulness teacher or yogi and you just think ”I’m nothing like them, that is not my life” and you may think that mindfulness isn’t for you.

      But the thing is, it is for you.

      It definitely doesn’t have to conflict with any spiritual or religious beliefs, it’s just intentional attention, it’s paying attention on purpose, being present for your life and for the people in it.

      Tactical tips to stop overthinking mindfulness:

      Just like the other two episodes in this mini series, I’m going to give you five tactical tips to stop overthinking mindfulness, to simplify it, and to actually start practicing it on a daily (or most of the time) basis.

      I encourage you to choose one thing on this list of five to put into action in your everyday life, and share it with us on instagram @realfoodwholelife or on our Real Food Whole Life Facebook Group.

      1 | Start with breath.

      You may or may not know this about me, but I’m a yoga teacher with a real interest in mindfulness.

      And while I think yoga has so many benefits for just about anyone, I don’t even think you have to start there, and I don’t think you have to start with an intensive meditation practice.

      I think that the simplest thing to do, is to start with breath.

      Mindfulness has something for everyone, even though it might seem unattainable or intimidating. This episode of the Feel Good Effect is about how to stop overthinking mindfulness and how to infuse more presence into your everyday life. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #welllnesspodcast #simplifywellness #stopoverthinking #mindfulness

      We are breathing everyday, all day, whether we think about it or not.

      This is at our fingertips everyday, we don’t have to buy anything, we don’t have to set aside time, it is the perfect place to start.

      There are so many resources to get into breathwork: we’ve had Ashley Neese on the show already and she’s coming back in a few months to talk about breathwork

      For now, just keep it super simple with three inhales and three exhales.

      Set an intention for intentional breath once a day (maybe twice, maybe three times a day).

      Find a quiet moment, maybe in your car while parked, at your desk while your kids are playing, having a cup of coffee, and here is all I want you to do: close your eyes, put your feet on the floor, and inhale through your nose, letting your belly fill with air, letting your lungs expand, and then exhale through your nose, keeping your mouth closed, feeling your lungs and your belly contract and let everything go.

      And that is it. Do that three times.

      Big inhale, feel the oxygen come in through your nose and nourish your whole body and on the exhale let that feel like letting something go.

      The incredible thing about breath, is that it actually is activating the parasympathetic nervous system, the calm, the rest, the digest.

      It can pull you out of fight or flight within a matter of seconds, total game changer.

      And like I said, it’s free, you don’t need special equipment, you don’t need two hours, you can do this anytime anywhere.

      And I think you’ll find that it works so well, so you can start doing this in the morning, the evening, during a break at work, during a walk at lunch.

      And my favorite thing is that you can do this with somebody else, it’s a really great tool to use with somebody in your life who might need a little help calming and resting.

      I do this with Elle every night, we do three big inhales together and three big exhales together, and it’s been pretty cool to see her take this.

      She’s seven now, and she’s been able to use this in her life when she’s having a meltdown, not in the middle of the meltdown, but post-meltdown she’s learned that it can help her calm down.

      She’ll tell me, “Mommy I need to take my breaths, I need you to help me take my breaths”, and together we breathe.

      And it actually helps me because usually post-meltdown I’m in an activated fight or flight mode myself, and it helps me calm down and be with her in that moment, have some compassion for her, have some compassion for myself, and it’s just this little reset button that helps us get back on track.

      I’m telling you, if we could all just start breathing a little more, it would go a long way.

      Back to that intentional attention: just pay attention to the breath for three breaths.

      2 | Get the tech out of sight, out of mind.

      Most of us have goals about reducing the amount of time we’re on our phones, devices, social media, or other ways we’re distracting ourselves from being present in our own lives.

      I think it’s really admirable and it’s probably a good idea for most of us to spend less time on tech, but often, the goals are unrealistic and we end up beating ourselves up for the amount of time.

      Here’s a simple trick to help you be more present: put it out of sight.

      I know, it seems too simple to work, but there’s a ton of research that says the harder you make something to get to, the less likely you are to use it.

      We can use this information to our benefit to help modify our environment so that it’s a little harder to get to, we we aren’t so tempted, and when you reach for it it’s a reminder that you wanted to be more present today.

      Don’t overthink this part!

      It might look like you’re hanging out with your kid on the floor or having a conversation with your partner: take the phone, put it in another room.

      You can still hear it if it rings, but it won’t be right next to you whenever your mind starts to get a tiny bit bored.

      Another tip: put distracting apps in a different folder.

      I call this my simplified screen, I put all my really tempting, triggering apps in a folder labeled “mindfully”, to give myself an extra reminder that I don’t need to open those every second, and then I take it off my home screen and put it onto the second or third screen of my phone so I have to actually take more steps to get to them.

      And that makes a difference, by making it a little harder.

      Creating those active barriers between you and the device go a long way to make it a little less tempting and you’re able to get back to that presence.

      3 | Five minute morning.

      I have a whole episode on my five minute morning and how instead of turning it into a morning routine that’s two hours, I really just take five minutes of micro mindfulness to just set myself up to have a little calm so I’m ready to take on the day.

      I use my simplified morning journals to get focused.

      My tip here: get an actual alarm clock.

      If you’re using your phone as an alarm clock, the first thing you’re going to do in the morning is look at your phone.

      It’s not a matter of willpower or that you’re unmotivated or lazy, it’s that you’re putting your phone next to your body so you’re going to look at it in the morning.

      So don’t put your phone next to your bed, put it in another room and if you’re worried about getting a call in the night, turn the ringer up.

      But we all lived with regular alarm clocks until a few years ago so we can all go back, put a normal alarm in your room, and move the phone out so it is not the very first thing you look at.

      Start to think about this as a gift that you’re giving yourself, of a bubble of presence where you’re not going to be pulled in other directions by other people, and that you’re giving yourself, as well as the people in your life, that gift.

      The phone is still going to be there, the news is still going to be there, and your emails and social media are still going to be there.

      This is a muscle that you have to build because if you’re used to reaching for it and opening it up, you’re getting that little dopamine hit, and your brain is going to crave it.

      It might feel a little uncomfortable, just give yourself a window to know that you’re really going to want your phone but that you’re just going to let your brain work it out, it will get used to it and you’ll learn a new habit.

      4 | Five minute evening.

      This is the same thing in the evening.

      Come up with a phone or device curfew, I try for 8:30, sometimes it looks like 9:00 at the latest to give myself some downtime.

      One of the things I like to do its a gratitude line, it’s not a whole gratitude journal, it’s just one line, and I think of something I’m grateful for that day (the smaller the better).

      Those little micro gratitudes really fill up the pages, and over time I have this list of all the little tiny things in my life that I’m grateful for.

      Having that tech-free bubble around my evening routine allows me to wind down and also allows me to be more intentionally present, to pay attention, to be present for myself, to be present for those in my life.

      It allows me to get out of fight or flight because there’s a lot of things on my phone that trigger that stress response; putting it away, knowing that it’s going to be there tomorrow is such a gift that I give myself and is a core part of what I consider wellness.

      5 | Pair it with something else.

      One of the things my friend Kait Hurley, who’s been on the show before, has this move & meditate method.

      She has online workouts and an app where you move your body and then spend some moments meditating.

      What I love so much about this is that it’s pairing two things, maybe it’s something you already do and then you add another part on top so you know that you’re going to practice it.

      It doesn’t have to be separate time when you have to find time and space, it’s just automatic.

      Maybe you already have a movement or workout routine where you could add a little bit of meditation at the end, or a little bit of breath.

      Or you can pair it with so many other things.

      One of my favorite examples of pairing is when I turn my engine off of my car and take the keys out of the ignition, I take three deep inhales and three deep exhales.

      It doesn’t have to be one more thing on my to-do list, it’s just automatic: when I take the car keys out, I take three deep breaths.

      Stop overthinking:

      I really, really think mindfulness can be a game changer, can help you get out of that fight or flight stress response loop, to get you into rest & digest, activate the parasympathetic nervous system, and most importantly be present in your life, not missing those moments, and being able to pay attention on purpose.

      It’s not going to happen over night or in one day, but as you work this into your daily life and routine, you’ll see it ripple across your life and even to other people, and it will start to really make a difference.

      And here’s the cool thing: when you put all of these things together from our mini series, mind, movement, and meals, they all start to affect each other.

      As you focus on one, each become easier.

      And you end up with this constellation of wellness that makes your life better, that allows you to feel really good and help other people feel good as well.

      Bottom line: stop overthinking it.

      Trust yourself, you are your own best teacher, you’re not doing it wrong, and you’ve totally got this.

      So let’s simplify.

      Take advantage of what we know from the science and ancient teachings and embrace gentle wellness, because I know you can do this, I believe in you.

      The five tactical tips to stop overthinking mindfulness:

      1 | Start with breath- three inhales and three exhales, as often as you want, whenever you need it.

      2 | Get the tech out of sight out of mind- the harder you make it to get to tech, the easier it is for you to practice mindfulness.

      3 | Five minute morning- get an alarm clock, give yourself a bubble of no distraction so you can be present and set yourself up for success.

      4 | Five minute evening- give yourself a phone curfew, again with that little bubble, practice a little gratitude, allow yourself some space before you go to sleep to reset and unwind.

      5 | Pair it with something- pair it with something you already do, maybe it’s meal prep, maybe after movement, after meals, or when you pull your keys out of the ignition. When and then is a powerful tool that can help you insert micro mindfulness into your life.

      As we end this mini series, I want you to remember that it all counts.

      All the ways that you’re adding to wellness into your life everyday all add up (little or big ways), they all lead to wellness.

      And doing it in a simple, gentle way will make you feel really good, will bring joy to the process, won’t leave you drained or depleted, because the last thing we want is the quest for wellness to make you ill.

      I know you can do this and I believe in you.

      Let’s get out of overthinking, let’s start simplifying, let’s take action, and let’s spread this message about what it really means to be healthy and this gentle-wellness revolution.

      (Tune in next week when we’re talking to Kelsey Murphy about how to find your passion in 15 minutes a day).

      Listen now!

      Mindfulness has something for everyone, even though it might seem unattainable or intimidating. This episode of the Feel Good Effect is about how to stop overthinking mindfulness and how to infuse more presence into your everyday life. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #welllnesspodcast #simplifywellness #stopoverthinking #mindfulness

      Show the Feel Good Effect Love

      If you loved today’s episode be sure to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts so we can keep bringing you more content like this! Share the show on Instagram, tagging @realfoodwholelife so we can connect and I can highlight you on my feed.

      1. Share it via FacebookInstagramPinterest, or Twitter

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      77 How to Stop Overthinking Movement

      Feel Good Effect PodcastPaige Reohr2 Comments

      Exercise and movement are so essential to true wellness, but it’s something so many of us overthink.

      How to stop overthinking movement. In this episode of the Feel Good Effect, we’re going to break down consistent movement with some tactical tips, strategies, and habits to get you out of overthinking and into action. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffectpodcast #personaldevelopment #selfcare #selfimprovement #podcast #wellnesspodcast #healthpodcast  #wellness #wellnesspodcast  #healthandwellness #healthandwellnesspodcast #miniseries #overthinking

      How to Stop Overthinking Movement

      In this episode, we’re going to break down consistent movement with some tactical tips, strategies, and habits to get you out of overthinking and into action.

      Scroll down to listen.


      Today’s episode is about how to stop overthinking movement.

      It happens to all of us from time to time, or for some of us, a lot of the time- exercise becomes a thing on your to-do list that never actually happens.

      Maybe it’s something you dread or something you can’t find time for, but we know that it is so essential to true wellness.

      So, today we’re going to break it down with some tactical tips, strategies, and habits to get you out of overthinking and into action.

      We’re right in the middle of a mini series about overthinking.

      And overthinking isn’t a bad thing, it’s not about shaming you or making you feel guilty, it’s something we all do and it's such a barrier keeping us from the wellness that we really want to infuse into our lives.

      Last week, we looked at meals: how overthinking might be standing in the way of healthy eating, and I gave you five really tactical things that you can do to stop overthinking and get into action.

      And I’d love to hear how that’s going for you- let me know on instagram @realfoodwholelife or on our Real Food Whole Life community Facebook Group.

      And today we’re going to take it another step and talk about moving your body.

      When it comes to exercise and movement there are so many misconceptions that really get in our heads, which can cause all kinds of problems.

      In so many ways, moving your body on a daily basis is really a mind game.

      So, what comes up for you when I say the word “exercise” or when I talk about a daily exercise habit?

      Chances are you’ve got some stories around it.

      Maybe you didn’t feel like an athlete growing up; you got teased or picked on, you hated gym class.

      Maybe the activity you wanted to be involved in wasn’t available to you or you didn’t have the resources to participate.

      Maybe you decided early on that you weren’t athletic, or maybe other people told you that.

      On the flip side, maybe you were really into sports growing up, and you went so hard that you burned yourself out.

      Maybe you took a sport to the extreme and it took all the fun out of it.

      Or maybe somewhere along the way you developed an injury that makes moving your body a little more painful (or a lot more painful) than it used to be.

      I know my story is somewhere in a mix of those things- I played competitive basketball through high school which sucked some of the joy out of movement for me; it was very much about competition and the ways that I wasn’t good enough.

      It definitely impacted my view about sports, but over time, I’ve found a reconnected love for all things movement, how it makes my body feel being outside hiking, swimming, or things like yoga and practicing pilates.

      And it’s also a love that I share with my husband, Andrew- he is one of the most athletic people I know.

      He’s an avid hiker and walker and that’s something we’ve been able to infuse throughout our relationship as something we love to do together so it doesn’t become a chore, it’s just a daily activity that brings us together, allows us to connect, and is just a beautiful thing.

      But I know that’s not always the case; whenever we overlay the stories we have about exercise with the wellness mindset barriers (like perfectionism, all or nothing thinking, and comparison) it oftentimes results in overthinking, avoidance, or missing out on ways to move your body on a daily basis.

      And I’m not here to try and convince you to start running marathons or become a super-athlete- I’m just here to say that we know daily, consistent movement is so beneficial to our bodies.

      It helps with longevity, it helps with brain health, it helps with memory, with focus, it helps us get better sleep, it impacts mental health, anxiety and depression.

      And of course there’s that whole weight management thing, which is important but I think it’s so often the focus of movement that we forget all of those other benefits.

      I’m telling you, if we could put exercise in a pill and say “this pill may potentially help you live longer, it might help your memory, will help prevent a number of diseases, will help you sleep better, will help you feel better, will allow you to have more energy”, we would all take that pill.

      And even though it’s not as simple as taking a pill, it actually is as simple as daily movement.

      So if it’s that simple, what’s really going on?

      Back to that overthinking conversation: wellness mindset barriers can throw all kinds of problems into the mix when it comes to doing daily, consistent things, like when it comes to moving your body.

      Think about perfectionism when we're talking about movement for a minute, think about how that shows up.

      Maybe we have a perfect idea of what exercise has to look like and has to be and then if we can’t meet that perfect ideal, we don’t do it.

      And that happens all the time.

      Then there’s all or nothing thinking about what actually counts when it comes to exercise.

      This a big issue when it comes to movement!

      Think about how often you feel compelled to do an exercise for a certain amount of time, and often that’s for an hour, or at least 30 minutes.

      And get really honest with yourself about what you think counts when it comes to movement, and then how often you practice what you preach: if you can’t get that hour or you can’t get that 30 minutes, or maybe you can’t even get that 20 minutes, how often are you doing something incremental to move your body?

      I actually think all or nothing thinking gets made worse by fitness trackers (I’m not saying to not wear a fitness tracker, I actually have one myself), but when you’re supposed to hit a certain number of rings or a certain number of calories and you look and see that you’re not going to hit it that day, it’s often the case that people will just quit altogether.

      And if it happens day after day, they actually stop wearing their fitness tracker altogether because they don’t want to be told that they aren’t getting the full number of points or calories, and it really helps cement this cycle of thinking, that it’s all or nothing and if I can’t do it that way then I’m not going to do anything at all.

      Similarly, calorie tracking is one of the biggest culprits when it comes to all or nothing thinking because if you’re hyper focused on calories, you’re probably not going to do a five minute walk, especially if you’re looking at your watch seeing how many calories it burned and it doesn’t seem worth it.

      But when we’re only looking at that, we’re forgetting all the other benefits of movement.

      Getting out of that all or nothing trap is so key and really makes a difference.

      Comparison also throws quite a wrench into movement, because maybe you’re comparing yourself to the fitness Instagram star who you love following but you look nothing like her, your form is nothing like her, and your body is nothing like her- that can be really discouraging.

      Or maybe you’re looking at the person next to you in class in the mirror, and again, you don’t look like her, your form’s not like her, your body’s not like her- trust me I know that can be enough to send you for the hills and never come back.

      When I found my way back to wellness after having Elle, I was really hard on myself.

      I didn’t like the way my body looked, I didn’t like the way I felt, and then I walked into a class that had a lot of beautiful, fit women and a lot of mirrors and I spent the whole time looking at myself and beating myself up.

      Instead of being compassionate and noticing what an amazing job I had done to just even show up, I spent the whole time thinking about how far I had to go and what a failure I was and after the class Andrew picked me up and I got in the car and I cried.

      I felt so defeated and ashamed and so much of that came from comparison of looking at these other people who had nothing to do with me; their journey was not my journey, and yet I looked at them and felt so defeated.

      The other way comparison shows up is comparison to yourself in the past, and in my story that was the other thing- I used to be an athlete, I did two hours of exercise a day, and here I was, completely out of shape, comparing myself to who I used to be.

      While comparison, all or nothing thinking, and perfectionism are all totally normal, natural ways the brain works, they’re not particularly helpful.

      The good news here- we can flip the script, we can find another way, and we can get out of overthinking and make movement sustainable, joyful, and consistent.

      Tactical tips for getting out of overthinking

      Just like with our overthinking meals episode, I want you to pick one of these to start with instead of trying to do all five- pick one and take action.

      It's not going to be perfect, it’s not going to go exactly how you plan, but put it into your life, start trying it, experiment, see what works, see what doesn’t, and come back and make it happen.

      If you’re someone who already has a really consistent habit of exercise, that’s amazing, and I imagine that you can take one of these tips and actually update what you’re already doing

      1 | Focus on the afterglow.

      We’ve all been there, you’re sitting on the couch after a long day and all you can think about is why you don’t want to move your body, or maybe it’s a weekend, or it’s raining or snowing.

      Regardless, we can quickly get stuck in a mind game of talking to ourselves about why we don’t want to do it, how hard it’s going to be, or how much you’re not looking forward to it and the longer we spend thinking those thoughts, the more likely we are to just not do it at all.

      So, the next time you catch yourself overthinking or telling yourself that you don’t want to do it, just skip to the after.

      Skip to the afterglow and reframe the whole thing as a gift you’re giving yourself and a gift you’re giving to your body by moving blood to your brain, by getting fresh oxygen to your muscles, by moving and clearing out whatever’s stuck, whatever needs to move on.

      And that reframe can have a lot of power, because you don’t even have to be looking forward to it or love the moment of exercise, but it’s that afterglow that makes such a difference, that feels good; you sleep better, have more energy, and reframing it as a gift you’re giving yourself can really change the conversation you’re having in your mind.

      Don’t give yourself too much time to overthink it and talk yourself out of it, flip the script, think of it as a gift, and then get up and just do something.

      The hardest part is actually starting, so just get past that small barrier and you will find that you’re able to fit movement in a lot more often.

      2 | Take an honest look at the barriers to moving in your daily life and in your environment.

      This is such a simple one, but we’re all about radically simple here, and this one is going to change things for you.

      Once we get past that mind game of telling ourselves we don’t want to do it, what is actually standing in the way of daily, consistent movement?

      Is it that your yoga mat is buried under ten feet of other stuff in the back of your closet? Is it that your shoes are worn out and they make your feet hurt?

      Is it that you find yourself on a work break without a pair of shoes to change into?

      Is it the time of day- you keep trying to force yourself to workout in the morning but you would really do better at night?

      Do you find yourself after work without a gym bag or without the right clothes in the car?

      These are all examples of environmental barriers that we can change.

      Pull the yoga mat out and put it right next to the couch where you can see it, maybe put some hand weights right on top so when you have a few spare minutes you can fire up an online workout and get in ten minutes of movement.

      Maybe you go to a special running or walking store and have them fit you for some shoes that make your feet feel really good so you don’t dread walking, or you keep a spare pair of shoes under your desk at work so if you do have a lunch break where you can get out and move, you do it.

      And yeah, you can totally be that person who is walking in a skirt and shoes, it’s fine!

      But just be really honest with yourself, what may seem like a big barrier may actually be something that’s pretty small and with some little tweaks it can become easier for yourself.

      “A little thinking ahead, a little advanced planning, and a little bit of designing your environment… goes so far when it comes to daily movement”.

      How to stop overthinking movement. In this episode of the Feel Good Effect, we’re going to break down consistent movement with some tactical tips, strategies, and habits to get you out of overthinking and into action. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffectpodcast #personaldevelopment #selfcare #selfimprovement #podcast #wellnesspodcast #healthpodcast  #wellness #wellnesspodcast  #healthandwellness #healthandwellnesspodcast #miniseries #overthinking

      3 | Find the joy.

      Maybe you’re never going to love exercise, but maybe you can find ways to make it a little more enjoyable.

      I want you to take a few moments to actually connect with what you like to do.

      We did an episode about personality types and wellness and I think this ties really well- knowing yourself, what works for you, and what you like and don’t like.

      For example, do you like to connect with others or do you want time for yourself?

      And the answer to this question might vary; for me, lately, exercise is a time for me to be by myself, I really feel like I need that inner time so I might take a walk by myself or do a quick home workout, or go to a yoga class.

      That’s the gift I give myself, not only to move, but to have some down and alone time.

      But there have been other times when I’ve needed more community and social time, so I found classes where there were other people my age and with the same interests.

      You can plug into a community of people who you can get to know and become friends with over time and who also might help you stay accountable, or maybe you know that you need one on one friend time right now or a group of people who can really hold you up.

      Maybe that’s a walking date with a friend- you’d be surprised how many people, you know, who say let’s meet for a drink or let’s meet for coffee but if you offer the alternative of a walk or a hike they might take you up on it.

      There are other ways to know what kind of movement will bring you joy; do you need to burn it out?

      Really workout hard and get sweaty and get some endorphins, or do you need more restorative, calm, and focused time?

      There are millions of options when it comes to movement, so the question is: what do you need? What works for you and bring you joy right now?

      If you’re doing something that’s really high intensity and that doesn’t feel good to you and your body, find something a little more gentle and a little more restorative or a little lower impact.

      And conversely, if you’re doing something that’s a little low and slow but you really feel like you need more activation and energy, find something in that realm.

      Another way to look at finding and infusing joy is whether you want to get into nature, if that fills your cup, or if you want to catch up on your favorite show, maybe right now a Netflix binge sounds really good so you could pair a home workout with your favorite show.

      There’s no right or wrong so we kind of have to take a step back and think, what are the hidden rules we have for ourselves around exercise, what we say counts and doesn’t count?

      Wipe that slate clean and say “I can make this joyful, I can make this absolutely fit me and what I need”.

      4 | Batch scheduling.

      Okay, so here’s what we know for sure about movement: if you don’t schedule it or plan it, it probably isn’t going to happen, especially if you have a very full day every day.

      I think what most of us do is use our calendars and planners for all of the ways we are responsible to other people, like our jobs, meetings, volunteer work, stuff for our kids- we put all of that in our planner and then we think somehow, magically, we will also find time to take care of ourselves and for wellness.

      So here’s the opportunity to schedule that stuff in just like you schedule everything else.

      One of the ways to make that happen is to sit down once a week and look at your calendar and schedule in those workouts, being really specific: what are you going to do and at what time and for how long?

      Those three little things make a big difference and there’s a ton of research; it’s crazy, that just writing it down and scheduling it makes a difference.

      And this might help you be a little more realistic about the time that you do have- it might be that an hour during a workday doesn’t work but 20 minutes does.

      Here’s a little gentle-wellness hack for you: come up with contingency goals or fallback goals.

      Those contingency or fallback goals are really what you’re going to do in that case that things go off the rails- if someone in your family gets sick or you have to work late, or you end up traveling.

      Because what often happens is what we schedule, we schedule for the perfect world thinking everything is going to go exactly how we think, but when it doesn’t, we get thrown off and we get that “on or off the wagon feeling”.

      So when you’re scheduling in what you’re going to do, when you’re going to start, and for how long, come up with a couple of backup options: some shorter workouts, some alternative days.

      Then for those weeks when things get crazy, you know that you’re at least going to get to do something, which is always better than nothing.

      5 | The two out of three rule.

      So if you do miss a workout, or you miss a whole day, or you miss a whole week, you can use two out of three to be consistent.

      I keep talking about daily workouts or daily movement, but what I really mean is consistency, moving your body more days than you don’t- it is as simple as that.

      That could be two out of three days that you get movement in and if you end up missing a day, you come right back the next day and say, “okay, the next two out of three days I’m going to try to fit something in”.

      That could even be two out of three weeks, if things get really crazy, and you always know you can come back and start again.

      I like embracing this idea of more bad workouts, sometimes I do movement or go to a class and just don’t feel great, I’m not able to push really hard, and I actually think that those bad days matter more than the good ones.

      It means that you’re showing up, it means that you’re being consistent, and it means that you know that perfection is not the goal and really knowing that everything counts.

      This is not a competition to see how many rings you can close, or how many days you can go without missing, because that is not the (only) point of movement.

      So really, let’s stop overthinking movement, making it a bigger deal than it has to be, making it a chore and something you dread, or something that you go all in on and then all out of.

      Consistency and sustainability is what actually moves the needle when it comes to wellness.

      These five strategies will help you get there:

      1 | Focus on the afterglow. Don’t get stuck thinking of how much you don’t want to do it or how tired you are, flip the script and think of it as a way you’re giving yourself a gift.

      2 | Take a look at those barriers keeping you from moving on a consistent basis, and make small tweaks so that it becomes easier.

      3 | Find the joy. What do you actually like doing? And how can you leverage that self-knowledge to make exercise and movement more enjoyable?

      4 | Batch scheduling. Once a week take out your calendar and schedule it out: what you’re going to do, when you’re going to start, when you’re going to finish, and then come up with some contingencies or fallbacks for when things don’t go as planned.

      5 | Two out of three. More bad workouts. Everything counts.

      Wherever you are with movement in your life, I want to encourage you to find ways to make it a priority, to find ways to infuse it into your life on as many days as possible.

      Because I know you can do it, I know you can show up for yourself and you can find ways to do it so it’s a little less of a chore and something that actually fills you up and makes your day a whole lot better.

      Be sure to come back next week for the third and final in this mini series on “stop overthinking”

      We’re going to dive into mindfulness, how to be more present and calm in your everyday life.

      Listen now!

      Listen on Apple Podcasts

      Listen on Spotify

      How to stop overthinking movement. In this episode of the Feel Good Effect, we’re going to break down consistent movement with some tactical tips, strategies, and habits to get you out of overthinking and into action. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffectpodcast #personaldevelopment #selfcare #selfimprovement #podcast #wellnesspodcast #healthpodcast  #wellness #wellnesspodcast  #healthandwellness #healthandwellnesspodcast #miniseries #overthinking


      If you loved today’s episode be sure to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts so we can keep bringing you more content like this! Share the show on Instagram, tagging @realfoodwholelife so we can connect and I can highlight you on my feed.

      1. Share it via FacebookInstagramPinterest, or Twitter

      2. Leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts. Your ratings and reviews help more people find the show!

      3. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts.

      76 How to Stop Overthinking Meals

      Feel Good Effect PodcastPaige ReohrComment

      What we eat doesn’t have to be so complicated, so let’s stop overthinking meals.

      How to Stop Overthinking Meals, an episode form the Feel Good Effect Podcast. #feelgoodeffect #realfoodwholelife #wellnesspodcast #healthy #gentleisthenewperfect #gentlewellnessrevolution

      How to Stop Overthinking Meals

      In this episode, we’re talking about overthinking food and the tactical things that you can do, the actions you can take to get out of overthinking and into being brilliant at the basics.

      Listen now!


      Today we’re talking about overthinking meals.

      What we eat everyday, what we tend to overthink, overcomplicate, and then it ends up getting so hard that we’re not able to do it in real life.

      In this episode, we’re not just talking about overthinking, we’re going to get right to the tactical things that you can do, the actions you can take to get out of overthinking and into doing.

      If this is your first time listening, subscribe here so you can be one of the first to get bonus episodes when they drop!

      For those of you who come back every week-- so grateful for you! Thanks for being here.

      I’m super pumped for today’s episode, and it’s actually one of a three-part mini series that we’re doing.

      In this “overthinking” mini series, we’re going to cover meals in this part, movement next week, and mind + mindfulness the following week.

      I want to give you this information in a super concise, tactical way so that you can listen, you can share it, you can spread it, and you can do it.

      By the end of the mini series, you’ll have everything you need to know to stop overthinking and really live a well life full of all the things that just make you feel really good.

      I want to give a little shout-out to Allie Casazza over at The Purpose Show.

      She did an episode on over-complicating exercise and I thought it was brilliant and wanted to do something similar with my own spin on it, with the gentle-wellness approach infused; thanks for inspiring this one, Allie!

      On overthinking in wellness:

      Let’s start by talking about the term “overthinking”.

      I raise my hand right here and now to say that I am a queen of overthinking.

      But I think overthinking is more of a catchphrase for mindset blocks.

      We talk about mindset blocks all the time here, but to review, mindset is really the thought patterns.

      When we take in information or have an experience, the brain interprets that according to certain patterns.

      That's the mindset pattern and it leads to actions and habits and eventually to results.

      It’s often something we’re not even aware of, but the cool thing is that it’s totally changeable.

      I think when we talk about overthinking we’re talking about mindset.

      I think it’s important to know that it’s not your fault, it’s not about shaming or blaming, these are just ways of thinking that we've practiced over and over and it happens to everybody in one way or another.

      And the really cool part is that it’s totally changeable, we’ve practiced one way, so we can practice another.

      That’s really the point of the gentle movement and all of these strategies and tactics around overthinking meals, it’s about flipping the script on those thought patterns to say “it doesn't have to be this way, it doesn’t have to be so complicated, I don’t have to apply perfectionism or all or nothing to the situation”.

      You can go a different way, and you will end up with a different result, which is pretty magical, but also science-based.

      How to Stop Overthinking Meals, an episode form the Feel Good Effect Podcast. #feelgoodeffect #realfoodwholelife #wellnesspodcast #healthy #gentleisthenewperfect #gentlewellnessrevolution

      “When magic and science come together, that’s always a good thing”.

      In the research that we’ve done here at the Feel Good Effect on wellness mindset blocks, we found that there’s really three big ones standing in the way for so many people.

      Those three things are perfectionism, all or nothing thinking, and comparison.

      These three blocks show up again and again and across the board when we’re talking about wellness, meals, mindset, or movement- anyway you look at it these things come up (especially in our wellness personalities).

      If you haven’t taken our Wellness Personality quiz, it’s only four or five questions so it’s super easy to take.

      Take the quiz here and we’ll send you your personality type and also a resource guide to help you unpack your wellness personality and provide you with some resources.

      If you’ve already taken it and know your type, that’s awesome and it’ll help you really dig into this episode, but we’re also revamping those resource guides so once we get them fully updated you’re going to get a new version along with even more tactical, targeted resources just for you.

      On wellness mindset blocks and approaching how we eat:

      For Dynamos, your biggest block tends to be perfection or perfectionism

      For Seekers, your biggest block tends to be comparison.

      And Cultivators, your biggest block tends to be all or nothing.

      But don’t get caught up in putting labels on things- it’s less about that and more about finding ways to undo old mindsets and dive into new ways of thinking.

      It’s really about self-knowledge and finding tools to unpack this stuff, which we’ll talk about more when we get to what I think are the five ways to get into changing the way you eat and eating to feel well without overthinking it.

      It really blows my mind how we’ve over complicated this topic around food.

      I’ve actually heard from some of you who are looking for answers and who have even heard guests who really resonated with you but who feel overwhelmed by the idea that either you’re not doing it right or you’re just having trouble getting started.

      And while I think there are so many amazing tools, resources, guides, and experts out there, I think that when we overfocus on that we often miss the basics.

      How to Stop Overthinking Meals, an episode form the Feel Good Effect Podcast. #feelgoodeffect #realfoodwholelife #wellnesspodcast #healthy #gentleisthenewperfect #gentlewellnessrevolution

      “Wherever you are, really focus on being brilliant at the basics”.

      This is a quote often attributed to Vince Lombardi, but I think it was originally Muhammad Ali.

      At any rate, the idea is that to be great you must be brilliant at the basics.

      And I get it, being brilliant at the basics isn’t sexy, I think we want to skip ahead to five-part smoothie or the adaptogenic latte or eliminating one food group.

      And depending on who you are, those might be really helpful, but not at the cost of the basics, of the things that actually move the needle and, let’s be honest, the ways that you eat that are actually sustainable that you can be consistent with.

      I’m going to give you five things to think about and five things to potentially take action on.

      At the end of the show I’m going to invite you to just pick one, I think you’ll have more success by just picking one and really executing it.

      On the five things when it comes to meals:

      I think these five things are the most agreed upon in the scientific community on food and eating.

      But let me just tell you now, if you brought five, ten, fifteen experts on food together, they might not agree on anything.

      I’ve been on those panels at wellness conferences and what’s fascinating is that these people who are out there giving advice can’t agree on anything when it comes to how we eat.

      If we take a step back and do a high level view, I think these are the five things that make the most sense, that are the most actionable, and potentially have the most research backing them up.

      1 | Eat more vegetables.

      I know, could we get more basic than that?

      But what we know about the impact of plants and vegetables on our bodies is undeniable.

      Vegetables are amazing, and they make a big difference.

      They are filled with so much nutrients, so much fiber, they have all these amazing things that our bodies appear to need, and yet that so many of us are missing.

      For many people, you could go for days and not eat a vegetable more than the lettuce on a burger or parsley garnish here and there.

      So when it comes to vegetables, you can really take an additive approach, which is a game changer for so many people.

      You can change nothing, except for adding a vegetable to every meal (... or lunch and dinner… or just dinner).

      Here’s what happens when you ditch perfectionism, comparison, and all or nothing thinking, all of these options become available to you depending on where you are and what you need right now.

      Veggies are where it’s at.

      Maybe you feel like you’ve got your eating locked in but there’s someone else in your household or life who’s really struggling, this is the perfect start.

      Have them add a veggie to their plate at lunch and at dinner, even if it’s a piece of pizza and then some carrot sticks or a burger and a side salad.

      We can incrementally inch our way toward more abundance of vegetables until they become the center of our plate and at most meals.

      But really, on a daily basis you can think about the two out of three rule: if at least two out of three meals have veggies in it, you’re doing great.

      And if that’s not the case for you that’s an area you can start focusing on.

      2 | Reduce the amount of fake food.

      Fake food is anything that’s highly processed or just really far from its original source, what it looked like as a whole and now it’s been processed further and further away from its original form.

      So, really switching your focus to add more real food to every meal as often as possible.

      I’ll share a bunch of really great resources with you at the end so that you have a place to go to collect all of them, but for now, here is what you need to do in order to focus on making sure you’re eating real food over processed and fake stuff.

      Read all the ingredients.

      Instead of looking at all the nutritional stuff on label, simply look at the number of ingredients.

      If there’s a lot more than five, chances are it’s not real food and chances are there are a lot of ingredients in there that are super processed and that your body doesn’t really need.

      The five ingredients or fewer is a great challenge to go through your pantry to go through your fridge and freezer, check out the ingredient labels.

      Particularly, I know for many people, the refrigerator door is a place that many fake foods like to hide- condiments, sauces, salad dressings.

      Same thing with those frozen entrees you might have hanging out in the freezer, take a little look at the ingredients.

      And it’s not about judgement, it’s not about good or bad or that you should never eat anything that has more than five ingredients, it’s really about awareness.

      If you’re eating a lot of processed things you’re probably feeling it in your body, in your energy level, and that’s an amazing opportunity to flip things around and think about focusing on adding real foods.

      Maybe replacing some of those salad dressings with something homemade, or even taking some extra time at the grocery store to read through the salad dressing labels and picking one with fewer ingredients.

      And also with ingredients that you can pronounce- if there are words in there that you can’t pronounce or that sound really unpronounceable or not like a real ingredient, it probably isn’t.

      3 | Cook more.

      Now I hear this collective groan from some of you who are self-declared people who hate to cook and/or who have no time to cook.

      And I’m not here to tell you that you need to fall in love with cooking or that you need to find a whole lot more time, I get it and that’s totally fine.

      And, as a mama who works full-time and picks up the kid and has to make dinner, I feel you.

      I don’t have endless hours to be in the kitchen making food everyday.

      I think we carry a lot of baggage around what cooking means and this is where perfectionism, all or nothing thinking, and comparison really show up.

      So think about your own definition of cooking or what comes up for you when I say cook more.

      Do you feel like it has to be perfect, or it has to be what you see on food blogs, or what your grandmother cooked when you were growing up?

      Do you find that comparison thing coming up for you, maybe looking around at what you used to do, what other people are doing?

      Or does that all or nothing idea come up, like if you can’t make a two or three hour meal or meal prep for four hours on the weekend then you don’t even bother?

      I get it!

      But I also have to say, cooking can mean a lot of things and you can reclaim what you want it to mean to you.

      In a lot of ways, my cooking it simply about assembling real ingredients in a few minutes.

      For example, I just threw so things in a crockpot before I started recording this episode: I threw in some potatoes, some chicken, and some salsa.

      Sometimes I’m almost embarrassed with how simple my recipes are, but then I remember, I don’t need to be embarrassed because this is exactly what I’m talking about.

      Those are three incredibly simple, real food ingredients that, when combined, make a meal.

      And that counts.

      I think sometimes we say it doesn’t count if we take a shortcut, or buy some pre-prepped stuff, or just use the same recipes over and over again, or make the simplest five ingredient recipes on a regular basis, but of course that counts!

      That’s how we make this stuff work and be sustainable.

      And the thing is, when you cook for yourself or the people in your life, you eliminate so much that you don’t need.

      When you cook, you control the ingredients which is a complete game changer in how you feel and how you nourish your body.

      This is an amazing place to start- if you feel like you’re overthinking it, just start cooking more, like one time a week.

      Wherever you are, add one day and see where it goes.

      4 | Start noticing patterns.

      This isn’t something you have to do, it’s something you have to think about.

      Start noticing how you’re approaching meals and food during the week.

      Are you skipping meals because there’s nothing on hand?

      Or are you eating off your kid’s plate because you didn’t have anything for yourself in the fridge?

      Are you eating leftover donuts in the staff lounge in the afternoon because you didn’t have a healthy, sustaining lunch that gets you through that afternoon slump?

      Do you not have groceries on hand so you end up hitting the drive-thru, maybe you had good intentions but time got away from you?

      For most of us, these patterns reoccur; it doesn’t just happen one time, it happens a lot.

      But when these patterns come up, it’s not a signal to beat yourself up, instead, it’s a matter of making small tweaks.

      So if you notice those patterns, that’s one area that you can address.

      Next week, maybe prep yourself one lunch.

      Put it in a mason jar, maybe it’s an essential salad, I have a couple in my simplified reset that I love to help people prep ahead with, and then take that as a huge win.

      You broke that cycle, that pattern that wasn’t working for you and you came up with a solution.

      5 | Simplify grocery shopping.

      Okay, after five years of doing this work, of the gentle wellness movement, I come to know one thing for sure: one of the biggest barriers to people when it comes to meals is not having the right food on hand.

      Maybe you’re willing to cook and spend some time, but collecting the ingredients and making sure they actually go together to make a meal, the struggle is very real.

      (Maybe we can do a whole episode on simplifying grocery shopping, again I can’t think of anything less sexy or exciting but if that sounds cool let me know and I’ll do another mini series on that).

      But for now, I want to give you one actionable tip: shop with three fallback meals in mind.

      Most of us have a handful of recipes or meals that we can just throw together, we don’t even need a recipe, we know them by heart.

      Some of my fallback meals are the salsa chicken crockpot recipe, meat or lentil sauce with pasta, taco bowls, and we do a big pan of roasted veggies with a sauce once a week.

      So here’s how this tip works: I have a little piece of paper or a note on my phone that has my go-to fallback meals and then a list of ingredients for each one.

      And when I’m at the store, I make sure I get those ingredients.

      I know this sounds so simple, but I think it will help so many people.

      One, it helps make sure you don’t miss things, but also on days when you’re exhausted and don’t want to meal plan, you just know for sure that you’ll have those three or four meals that you know you and your family like.

      So those are my five, and they’re so incredibly basic.

      But if you can get brilliant at the basics, everything changes and it becomes so much simpler.

      There’s no more overthinking because this becomes a part of your life, a way of life, a way of being well that doesn’t cause you to beat yourself up or burnout.

      To summarize:

      1 | Eat more veggies- just add more when you can.

      2 | Reduce the amount of fake food and eat real food.

      3 | Cook more- that doesn’t have to be complicated, it can just be assembling whole food ingredients

      4 | Notice patterns and when you notice something not working, find a tweak and a fix.

      5 | Simplify grocery shopping by focusing on those three to four fallback meals with a standing grocery list that you always have with you.

      Here’s what I want you to do: it’s one thing to listen to a podcast and then move onto the next thing, but it’s another to decide to take action and pick one of those five things and try it.

      And that’s what I want you to do, that’s my invitation to you today.

      Because, listen, I know you’ve got this.

      So go ahead, pick one, and I’d love to hear about it on instagram or one Facebook with our Real Food Whole Life community.

      Give us a shout, let us know what you’re working on and we can also maybe connect you with other people who are working on the same thing.

      And then I want you to pay attention: What’s working? Really importantly, how do you feel? Is there any part of this that’s burning you out? Can you take a step back and simplify even more?

      Eating, cooking, preparing, and filling your life with beautiful, real food is a process that always takes little tweaks.

      So pay attention and ask those questions: What’s working? How do I feel? Is something burning me out?

      And then come back, make that loop, make tweaks and see how it goes.

      And when it comes to getting out of that overthinking trap, I want you to ask: What would happen if it doesn’t have to be perfect? What would happen if I stopped comparing to the latest diet trend or stylish influencer or version of myself from five years ago? What would happen if I let go of this all or nothing thinking and lean into the idea that everything counts?

      This is the gentle revolution. This is change. And you can do this. One thing, one action.

      And that’s what I want to leave you with: I believe in you, I really do.

      It’s not that I believe that you can do everything perfectly and if you just put your mind to it, everything will change.

      I just believe that through this approach, an incremental and intentional approach to wellness, one that it filed with joy and what works for you, that change is possible and feeling good is possible.

      Definitely share this with a friend. I try to make these really concise, really action-packed, and under 25-minutes so you can fit them into your responsibility-filled lives.

      Come back next week because we’re going to do the same thing with movement.

      I’m going to have another set of action items for you, and you can take the momentum from this week and build on it to next week.

      I promised you resources, so here are a few places I can send you, either past episodes or some of my favorite influencers and industry leaders who can help you out in some of these areas:

      One of the big testimonials from people is that it’s helped them not to skip meals and to have nourishing food on hand without having to work too hard.

      Another resource is a show on meal planning for people who hate meal planning.

      How to Stop Overthinking Meals, an episode form the Feel Good Effect Podcast. #feelgoodeffect #realfoodwholelife #wellnesspodcast #healthy #gentleisthenewperfect #gentlewellnessrevolution


      1. Share it via FacebookInstagramPinterest, or Twitter

      2. Leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts. Your ratings and reviews help more people find the show!

      3. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts.

      75 How to Use Your Personality Type to Win at Wellness

      Feel Good Effect PodcastPaige ReohrComment

      Self-knowledge isn’t selfish.

      Knowing your personality can help you figure out what works for you in wellness.

      How to use your personality type to win at wellness, an episode from the Feel Good Effect podcast. #realfoodwholelife #feelgoodeffect #gentleisthenewperfect #healthy #wellnesspodcast #wellness #personality

      How to Use Your Personality Type to Win at Wellness

      When it comes to wellness, and knowing yourself and your personality helps you to you make better decisions. This episodes is all about leveraging your personality to build a life of wellness that you love.

      Scroll down to listen


      Personality type assessments are all the rage right now, from Enneagram to the Four Tendencies to Sparketypes to Wellness Personalities.

      The cool thing is, when you really know your personality types, when you really know yourself, you can use that information to design a life of wellness that really works for you.

      Today’s episode is all about how to use your personality wellness type to win at wellness.

      If you were able to tune in last week, we talked with Jonathan Fields from the Good Life Project Podcast and we talked about his work with his new personality assessment, Sparketypes, around how to connect with your true calling.

      We’ve also had Gretchen Rubin on the show, talking about her personality types, The Four Tendencies.

      And lately, I’ve been getting a lot of questions through social media about my Enneagram and my Myers-Briggs type.

      And my husband, who is a clinical psychologist, recently became a Strengthsfinder coach, so we’ve been talking about Strengthsfinder in our house.

      With all this interest around personality types, I thought it would be a good idea to do a full show on it.

      Not necessarily to talk about all those different assessments in detail, but really to talk about the point of knowing your different kinds of personalities and how to leverage that information to make your wellness journey more joyful and sustainable.

      Why take a personality assessment?

      There are all of these options out there (I mentioned a few of them: Enneagram, the Four Tendencies, Strengthsfinder, Sparketypes, and our Wellness Personality assessment).

      Of course, it could just be fun to do the quizzes and get a little information and a little insight into yourself.

      It can also be fun to compare with other people’s and discuss how you’re the same or different.

      But I think the true power in these different types of personality assessments is that they help you know yourself better.

      “Self knowledge, knowing what works for you, knowing what drives you, knowing what doesn’t work-- that is the actual core and foundation of wellness”.

      Knowing yourself allows you to create and design this life, and it can serve as the heartbeat of the life you want to build and the life you want to live.

      We’ve talked about self-knowledge many times in this show; in interviews with both Jonathan Fields and Gretchen Rubin, we had conversations around the idea of self-knowledge and how self-knowledge can lead to happiness, to well-being, to a sense a fulfillment.

      And also how the idea of self-study can seem really uncomfortable.

      I think the word self is often related to selfishness in our minds, and there’s this idea that taking time to know what works for you is selfish.

      First off, as we’re talking about personality types, I ask you to do a little internal bias check: when I say self, self-knowledge or self-study, does that bring up ideas of selfishness?

      And if so, that’s totally okay and normal, we don’t spend a lot of time thinking about it, talking about it, and we usually don’t teach it in schools so for some of us it can just take a little while to even come around to the idea that knowing yourself and what works is not only helpful for you, but helpful for everyone else in your life.

      So when it comes to wellness, knowing yourself and your personality helps you do one really important thing, and that’s helping you make better decisions.

      At the end of the day, so much of our life is the result of these tiny decisions.

      There are so many things we can’t control, but when it comes to the things we can, life is an accumulation of these tiny decisions.

      If you can get better at making decisions, you find that it has a ripple effect across the board and things become easier, lighter, and more enjoyable.

      “You can spend more time filling rather than emptying”.

      Some examples:

      I want to give you some really specific examples of this, and even though I’m using my own personality type as a point of reference, it applies to all of us.

      Sometimes seeing the specific in someone else’s life helps us draw the relationship to ourselves.

      I want to note, that knowing your personality type is not about making excuses for your behavior or getting really rigid and stuck.

      For instance, I’m an introvert and it would be really easy for me to use that as an excuse to avoid all social situations and just generally become an isolated human.

      It’s finding that edge between respecting and honoring who you are but then also pushing outside of that and challenging yourself, growing yourself, and finding that balance between self-improvement and self-acceptance.

      I don’t think there’s any one personality type assessment that’s necessarily better than another.

      I think the more you know the better, as long as you don’t get bogged down in the details.

      Here’s how I come out in a few of these personality assessments.

      Enneagram seems to be so popular right now, and it’s the number one question I get asked.

      I took it a couple of times, and I understand that you have one that’s your primary but I scored so closely that I took it several times.

      What I came up with was either I’m a 1, which is Perfectionist, or a 2, Achiever, or an 8, Leader.

      And they were so close every time that I’m not sure where I land, but for the sake of this conversation I’ll go with Perfectionist.

      And then I took the Four Tendencies assessment, and I’m an Upholder with the Questioner-lean.

      When it comes to Sparketypes, I came out with Scientist and then either a Maven or an Essentialist shadow type.

      And then with our own Wellness Personality Assessment, which is based on a couple years of research that my husband, Dr. Andrew, and I did on the barriers to wellness, the mindset patterns that people have that kept them from wellness or help them succeed.

      It comes with a free resource guide and there are three types: and my type is Dynamo.

      And a Dynamo tends to lean toward perfectionism.

      Taking these all together helped build a picture of my strengths and weaknesses and overall personality that I have.

      I think it’s pretty accurate, but there are parts in each that I don’t totally agree with, but I don’t think that’s the important part.

      The important part is the big picture and being able to make better decisions.

      How to win at wellness:

      Let’s talk about how to use this information to win at wellness in the context of movement, meals, and mind.

      This is the way I love to look at the whole picture of wellness- we’re not just talking about food or exercise or mindfulness and mental health, but we’re looking at the big picture.

      Knowing my personality types, I want to tell you how I use those to make better decisions about movement, meals, and mind.


      Let’s start with movement, since I’ve recently been working on adopting a new workout routine.

      Those of you who have followed for a long time know that I’m a huge barre fan, and we actually did an interview with Sadie Lincoln, the founder and CEO of barre3.

      I also love pilates (check out this conversation with Robin Long on pilates and fitting movement into everyday life).

      And I’m also an avid walker and I love a good hike in the Pacific NW with my husband and daughter.

      But I just turned 39 this month, and something about my birthday in January and knowing that I have a year until 40 made me rethink my routine.

      I’ve also recently developed a little hip problem and plantar fasciitis so I’ve been trying to stay off my feet to heal.

      On top of that, we also just joined a gym that has childcare and a pool and gives us a chance to workout together.

      This combination of things has made me rethink my fitness and movement routine.

      I’m not ditching the ways that I know work for me, but I feel like I’m at square one trying to figure out how I’m going to create this routine.

      Here is where knowing yourself and your personality can really work for you:

      As an Upholder, I know that if I commit to a plan or routine, I feel very compelled to follow though.

      So I’ve been really careful of that right now, of not committing to a prescriptive program or an intense routine because I’m balancing a lot of other things.

      If you add in the concepts of being a Perfectionist, or being an Achiever, and a Dynamo, it sounds to me, when I take these into consideration, maybe I shouldn’t commit to a big overhaul in my fitness routine.

      Another factor in my self-knowledge is that I need something low impact, which I know from trying things out in the past.

      When it comes to anything in wellness, what’s so important is trying things out and then listening to yourself to see if it resonates.

      Maybe you’re somebody who tries out Zumba and just loves the community aspect of it and maybe you used to love to dance so adding dance back into your life brings you joy- that’s such a perfect thing to know, that’s such a great way to harness your personality and work it into movement.

      Or maybe you’re an Obliger, and you know you need accountability, so maybe you take advantage of Robin Long’s pilates Sisterhood and you hook up with someone there who becomes your accountability buddy.

      So you don’t feel bad that you’re an Upholder, you take advantage of it.

      It’s all these tiny tweaks to make it more pleasant and more aligned with who you are that helps to make wellness sustainable, gentle, and effective.

      When it comes to movement and your personality type, I invite you to take a little scan of your personality type or types and reference it against your movement.

      Where is it helping you? Where is it holding you back? How can you use it to your advantage to craft a movement routine that works for you, in your life and with your personality?


      I could definitely do a mini series on personality types and meals.

      Movement and meals are both areas that you could definitely find a ton of prescriptive, day by day, meal by meal, exercise by exercise plans, which is great because we all need to find that balance between rules and flexibility

      But, they really don’t account for your personality or your life.

      You may be finding that you’re trying to squeeze yourself into a box or follow a plan that worked for someone else with a different personality type, but it is not going well for you.

      Experimenting is a process that is so important when it comes to self awareness- you’ve got to be willing to try things out with the experimental mindset knowing that it might not work out.

      And if it doesn’t, that’s not a failure, it’s one more piece of information to help you make better decisions.

      When it comes to meal planning, through my own experimental process, I know for sure that we need some kind of map for the week and that rigid meal planning doesn’t work for me.

      I see this a lot with clients as well as in the Simplified Reset that we offer, which is a 30-day meal plan and meal prep program based on this idea that you need some structure but that it needs to work in your own life.

      And what I find is that people who tend to be perfectionistic or who tend to compare themselves to other people or a previous version of themself (I’m talking about you Seekers out there), or for the Obligers who maybe don’t have an accountability partner things start to fall apart, either you’re going all or nothing or throwing in the towel when it doesn’t go perfectly.

      So for me, I found that meal planning a specific recipe each night was overwhelming and didn’t work.

      So I switched over to meal mapping, which is much more loose but gives me enough structure so I know what type of meal we’re having each night (tacos, bowls, pasta, etc.) and I use a loose framework to make sure that I get all the groceries that I need (protein, grains and bases, veggies, sauces) and then I can combine those.

      Knowing my personality helped me develop a plan that really worked, and I think you can get even more detailed when it comes to meals.

      For instance, do you really love the opportunity for date night where you go out to eat?

      If that time and connection is something you value, make sure you build that into your routine.

      I think a lot of the time when we try to change the way that we eat for forget about what’s fun and joyful, but when you cut all of that out it’s a recipe for disaster.

      Or if you’re someone who really doesn’t like grocery shopping, then maybe you consider ordering groceries online.

      Again, it’s these little tweaks this paying attention and experimenting to see what works.


      I am a huge fan of breathwork.

      I think it is a gateway to mindfulness and has so many impacts on our nervous system (check out this interview with Ashley Neese on breathing for health)

      But when it comes to just sitting and doing breathwork practice, it wasn’t really working for me.

      So I did a little scan of my day and tried to find the times when I’m most stressed

      Something you can definitely do in figuring out what works for you, is a little audit.

      Do an audit of your day, your week, of a pocket of your day and think about when things might work and when they might not.

      I do have a little 5 minute morning, but doing breathwork in my 5 minute morning routine was too much.

      So in trying to figure out when I might need it most, and what came to me is when I’m driving, when I’m doing errands, when I’m in traffic, and especially when I arrive at my destination and there’s always a rush onto the next thing and I can’t take a breath.

      With that self-knowledge, what if I tried to insert breathwork into that moment?

      It’s been so successful and I want to share it with you.

      What I do is I pair breath with a certain activity, which is totally taking advantage of my Scientist/Essentialist nature: how can I make it simpler and use the research to make it work?

      Pairing is a very effective behavioral strategy, which is when you do one thing you do something else; in this case I paired breath with taking the keys out of the ignition.

      So when I take the keys out of the ignition, I take three deep inhales and deep exhales.

      I find myself instantly calmer, more grounded, more present, and because I built it into my life it’s not something I feel like I should do but never actually do.

      Let’s do something:

      It’s all the ways you look at your life and figure out how to use your personality to your advantage.

      The end result is this radically personalized life that is so of sustainable, gentle, consistent wellness

      Nothing makes me happier than seeing you all put this into action, because it’s one thing to listen to a podcast episode and it's another to do something.

      So let’s do something.

      1 | Take a personality test if you haven’t.

      2 | Share your personality type (I love seeing those on Instagram stories!).

      3 | Tell me how you’re using this self-knowledge of your personality to win at wellness (the smaller the tweak the better).

      Listen now!